8 week old - please help!

[Chester72]

Hi, I’m just after advice/reassurance! My second daughter is 8 weeks old and things are just so so tough. DD1 is 2.5 years old and was quite an attached baby, i breastfed her and so I know the reality of how relentless it can be so I was expecting it. However, DD2 is a whole new ball game. Over a whole day, she is awake and happy off the breast for a total of about 30 mins. Other than that she hysterically cries and CONSTANTLY needs to be on the breast unless she’s asleep, where she will only sleep when held. I’ve tried, swaddling, Moses basket, things that smell of me etc etc etc and absolutely nothing works, she wakes straight up, is hysterical, then the whole feeding starts again. This is becoming impossible with my toddler who is now very very upset every day, as I am pinned down ALL day by my baby. I thought by 8 weeks I would be getting slightly more awake time where she is happy but she just cries. If I ever pass her to anyone else for a cuddle, it’s full blown hysteria, and again, will only settle on the breast. It’s very very overwhelming and I’m finding it hard to cope. she’s feeding fine, latch is great and has gained lots of weight. I’ve tried dummies but she won’t take it. Has anyone had a baby like this and if so, when does it end?? 😩

My 8 week old is similar and I have an almost 3 year old who is getting almost zero mummy time (and waaaaay too much screen time). It's so hard and not at all what I expected with a second baby. I have a battery of tools and techniques that I use, I'm just going to list them off here. (Context: my baby won't take a dummy and is ebf, but his latch is terrible and he takes in lots of air so I don't nurse him to sleep much as his windy tummy and subsequent burping wake him up. He hates being swaddled. He cries a lot.)

• White noise (this one: open.spotify.com/episode/2iOqNDvQuv1RyU5SEG0FN0?si=Yf4YiYgNSxiF2DD3nUIA1w&utm_source=copy-link) blasting from my phone when baby's wake window is up and it's time to sleep. That track has been my lifesaver.
• Baby carrier bouncing on birthing ball (with white noise phone up against baby's back)
• If asleep in my arms, I can occasionally transfer baby to my expensive Graco side-to-side swing (asked for it as a gift as was desperate...can get them second-hand on Facebook marketplace for less) as long as vibrate is on and my white noise from phone is blasting. Though he'll only sleep there for 30 mins max ..
• I bought a huge set of magnetic tiles for my toddler (the best toy there is) and get her going on those (or Netflix... As mentioned...) while get the baby to sleep.
• Did I mention white noise? Blasting? Lifesaver.
• Vertical motion, including (deep) squats and lifting baby up and down in the air at a moderate pace (emergency tactic). If it doesn't burn
• Side-lying nursing to sleep in bed then sneaking out occasionally gets me 20 minutes.
• Buggy walks
• Infacol & daily probiotics for happier tummy
• Took baby to an osteopath (for 3 weeks) which really helped him be less agitated during waking hours.
• I cuddle my toddler every night in bed once baby has FINALLY gone down for the night and sometimes that's the only 1-1 time we get.

You're not alone. Hang in there, it feels like forever but eventually her wake windows WILL stretch out. At this age they're going through so much from immunizations to viruses from older siblings to developmental leaps... every day can be hard for a different reason (I tell myself this every day...).

All my friends with older kids promise me it will get better.

(Written while holding a tenuously sleeping baby while intermittently using several of these techniques)