Am I weird for feeling like I’m grieving?

[charley39]

DS left nursery last week ready to start primary school and it has honestly knocked me for six. I’m in tears most days thinking about it. I cried last week every day he went because it was the last time for that day he would be going. I cried picking him up on his last day. I cried a hell of a lot at his graduation party! All I have to do is think about it and I’m tearing up. Is this normal or an extreme reaction? I honestly can only describe it as I’m grieving a loss.

‘You need to reframe this and stop thinking about it as the end of something great but rather the beginning of something great.’

^ I love that!

I think it’s very healthy OP to let yourself truly feel big feelings. There’s no point in denying or repressing them. As a society we’re not v comfortable with big emotions and I think that’s too our detriment - but that’s a bit of an aside. Sometimes life is sad and difficult and it doesn’t need to be explained away. I find my children growing up/end of eras a real trigger point too. Not everyone does and that’s fine. I also know for me the depth of sad feeling is a reflection of how happy we’ve been in a chapter of our lives, so that brings me a contentment too.

good luck with the new start. If it’s any consolation I felt very like you and school has become a beautiful new part of our lives…. Will 100% be a wreck again end of year 6 tho 😁!

I think about this a lot. I do think your response seems a little extreme but... parenting is such a headfuck, isn't it? It's wonderful of course but it's also, if you think about it, one long process of letting go, or, as you say, of grieving.

You start with a tiny baby, then after 2 years, bam, they've gone. They've morphed into someone else. And then suddenly bam- they're at primary school and can't remember anything about those first three years which you felt were some of the most important days of your life! And on it goes, til you've got a a surly teenager who, far from throwing themselves into your arms and wailing when you leave the room, plots how he's going to escape your parental clutches. (I hear most of them come back eventually after the hormones have subsided ;-))

Thank you to those commenting it’s been really helpful! You’ve all summed it up rather well.
nursery with the daily chats/updates and photos of his day-going from a 1:6 ratio to now 2:28 is going to be harder to get that level of attention etc.
They all feel like an extension of our family as we talk about them so much at home etc.

Im sure in a few weeks time I’ll have settled right down and we’ll be in the new routine of school etc. I do actually feel a bit better about it all this morning just by being able to write it down somewhere about how I’m feeling.

My DH doesn’t understand it at all just says he’ll be fine whenever I try to have a conversation about it but he won’t be the one dropping him off to school etc so there isn’t that same level of attachment.

Genuinely thank you all though, definitely helping me realise it’s a sad but positive new chapter of his life!

I think you need to get out more and I don't mean that in a horrible way. It's not Healthy to be like this. It's a new phase. Kids can't stay the same they have to grow up and you need to celebrate each step. Can you find some more interesting things to do away From the home for yourself that doesn't involve the children. Take time out for yourself with friends as it does sound a bit obsessive to be feeling the way you are