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Parenting

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Original poster

DS won’t eat, and it stresses me out so much

15 replies

Iriscornflowerblues · 29/08/2022 17:05

I could understand picky eating. I don’t mind serving the same meal seven times a week, but my DS (21 months) just WILL NOT EAT!

Hes never been brilliant with food. From the start I really struggled to wean him. He hates the high chair and always has. Have tried his own little table and chairs but he just gets up and walks off. The ONLY way he’ll eat is if you follow him around and feed him. Even then he doesn’t seem to eat very much. But he eats really well at nursery.

Its stressing me out so much. He’s been home for a week and I don’t know how he’s not malnourished.

OP posts:

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johnd2 · 29/08/2022 17:11

Sorry you're having so much trouble
Are you sure he's hungry? It's easy to over estimate, and often toddler's can be still full enough from the previous meal.

Discovereads · 29/08/2022 17:13

Have you asked nursery what they do such that he eats really well there?
It could be as simple as he doesn’t like to eat alone. Or he doesn’t like different foods touching each other on a plate. Give them a call.

Meltingsocks · 29/08/2022 17:21

DD1 was like that. She was still taking in a lot of breast milk at that age (hard as I was back at work). Eating didn't click for her until at 2.5 years.

She has a huge appetite and is very tall and strong teen now. I truly wouldn't worry, just top up with milk and keep offering food.

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Original poster

Iriscornflowerblues · 29/08/2022 17:27

Thanks. I don’t think it’s anything like that - I do think he likes to eat with the other children, but of course I can’t replicate that at home. Arghh!

OP posts:

sunshinebananas · 29/08/2022 17:33

Do you eat your meals together as a family and make it fairly light and low stress?

Thedungeondragon · 29/08/2022 17:39

Is he underweight? If not then you need to relax. Offer food, and if he doesn't want it take it away again. He'll eat when he's hungry. I feel your pain. I had a rubbish eater and learned the hard way that you can't force even a tiny child to eat. All you will do is cause more issues if you try and make him eat when he doesn't want to.

annoyedneighbour1 · 29/08/2022 17:40

If he eats really well at nursery it's parenting, sorry.

You need to eat together at meal times, and if he doesn't eat it after 20 mins or so move the plate. After an hour sit him back down and offer him the same plate of food again. Always have 1 thing on the plate that you know he likes

If he gets up from the table, sit him back down. Create the boundary and expectation.

BryceQuinlanTheFirst · 29/08/2022 17:41

Maybe try changing strategy completely and remove all mealtimes and stress and just leave food out for him. No pressure at all.

annoyedneighbour1 · 29/08/2022 17:41

Sorry I posted too soon. My last line was just that following him around feeding him is unnecessary and a really bad habit that needs to be put right.

Discovereads · 29/08/2022 17:44

Iriscornflowerblues · 29/08/2022 17:27

Thanks. I don’t think it’s anything like that - I do think he likes to eat with the other children, but of course I can’t replicate that at home. Arghh!

Do you eat with him? That could be all it takes.

Original poster

Iriscornflowerblues · 29/08/2022 17:52

we can’t keep getting up to put him back, though. I realise it is parenting, but I do need suggestions that will work, which getting up and down don’t.

I might have to try the high chair again but he just hates it so much it makes mealtimes stressful.

I’ve tried just leaving food out but he just throws it around.

OP posts:

TheBirdintheCave · 29/08/2022 18:37

Iriscornflowerblues · 29/08/2022 17:52

we can’t keep getting up to put him back, though. I realise it is parenting, but I do need suggestions that will work, which getting up and down don’t.

I might have to try the high chair again but he just hates it so much it makes mealtimes stressful.

I’ve tried just leaving food out but he just throws it around.

We bought a travel booster seat with a harness and straps that attach to the dining chair. This way our son (also 21 months) stays in one place and feels like he's in a big boy chair. He's also rubbish at eating but it's improved since we started using that. We've also started having dinner with him recently, even if it is really annoying that this means I'm doing 90% of the cooking 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

Original poster

Iriscornflowerblues · 29/08/2022 18:48

We have one of those! At first it worked but then stopped.

He does eat with us but hasn’t made a discernible difference. He tantrums as he wants what we’re eating even though it’s the same but then if you give it to him he doesn’t want it!

OP posts:

wibblewobbleball · 29/08/2022 19:05

He eats well at nursery - brilliant. Therefore remove all expectation around eating at home. Serve EVERY meal and snack with tiny portions for him AT THE table, and sit him at the table with a "here you go". You must sit and eat with him. If he gets up - ignore him and let him go. Eat your meal. Laugh with DH, play music, generally have fun and sound like it! You're in this for the long game, so it might take weeks but eventually he will join you. Take the stress off all of you.

RockAndRollerskate · 29/08/2022 19:09

Big Little Feelings has great stuff on their insta highlights for this.

Serve him food with you and make no comment on it, whether it be broccoli or cake, you serve it the same way “here you go”. Make as little fuss as possible. It works really well with my 2yo. The more drama and enthusiasm I bring, the less he ate

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