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Original poster

15m waking once every night

46 replies

brightnesses · 29/08/2022 11:14

I posted this at 4am but had no responses so I thought I’d try again

DD will be 16m on Saturday and has slept through the night since 8 weeks. Apart from the usual sleep regression or when she’s teething, she used to sleep really well uninterrupted.

As of some months ago she will wake up through the night at least once. Can someone tell me how to stop this happening as it’s genuinely killing me. I have a small baby who doesn’t seem to mind his sister making noise and will happily sleep through it but it’s really tiring for me. She can be ignored for a little while as she’ll just be making small noises and will fall in and out of sleep. Then she’ll start kicking the cot and won’t go back to sleep without a bottle?

She eats three meals a day and has two bottles so I’m not exactly sure if she’s hungry or if this is just a comfort thing. I’m up with both of them from 7:30am to usually midnight so her waking up at 1am or 4am is too much. Any advice on how to get her sleeping through the night again?

Just to add that DD sleeps at my mum’s once a week and always sleeps through with no problem. I don’t do anything different at my house than what my mum does so I have no clue what’s going on

OP posts:
Original poster
brightnesses · 29/08/2022 12:29

Right I guess I’m on my own then

OP posts:
Vicky1989x · 29/08/2022 12:38

What’s her daytime sleep like?

sunflowerandivy · 29/08/2022 14:30

Does she have naps in the day? She might be wanting to fro the morning one

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Original poster
brightnesses · 29/08/2022 18:47

@Vicky1989x @sunflowerandivy

DD has one big nap from around 12-3 and that’s all. She used to have two naps a day and a total of 4 hours but now she’s down to 3 hours.

I’ve tried to let her only sleep for two hours or not have a nap at all but she’ll be exhausted the whole day and once she finally goes to bed at 8, she’ll treat that as a nap and then be up by 11. I don’t think the nap makes a difference but I’m open to suggestions

OP posts:
Youcancallmeirrelevant · 29/08/2022 18:49

OP 1 wake up is normal, is it not easier to just go in and resettle her quickly? I mean my 4 year old still calls for me if she wakes up in the night for me to tuck her back in 🤷🏼‍♀️

YellowTreeHouse · 29/08/2022 18:53

One night wake at this age is great! You were quite lucky she slept through for so long before.

Repeated night wakes are natural and normal until well over 2 years old. You can’t make her sleep through - she’ll do it again when she’s ready to.

As harsh as it sounds, you having another baby and thus being tired doesn’t stop your first child’s natural behaviour.

Where is the father in all of this?

My daughter is 20 months and still wakes every 2 hours. It’s just normal unfortunately, as tiring as it is.

ShirleyPhallus · 29/08/2022 18:55

I’d try a dream feed again and see if that helps her - about 10pm before you get to bed would be my suggestion

Nellle · 29/08/2022 18:59

Mine is 14 months and wakes at least twice. Has never slept through.

So, no advice I'm afraid, except for what people tell me - it will get better. If I were you I'd be basking in the unadulterated bliss of having a night off every week!

Hugasauras · 29/08/2022 19:04

Is the dad on the scene? I have a 3yo and a newborn and he is responsible for the 3yo overnight cos I am doing the night wakings with baby as I'm breastfeeding. Maybe get your partner, assuming he lives with you, to settle toddler overnight while you deal with baby.

Preg19 · 29/08/2022 19:08

As pp has said so normal for this age to wake in the night and one wake up is really good, my 18 month old is up at least 2-3 times. Nothing unfortunately you can do but she will sleep through when she’s ready, sleep is so linear until around 2

Original poster
brightnesses · 29/08/2022 19:43

Thanks all.

I was just wondering where I’ve gone wrong from her sleeping through every night to now waking up once. I didn’t understand if she wasn’t getting enough food during the day or so on.

To the poster who I asked can I go in and settle her. Sometimes she’ll literally just fall back asleep but recently she’s been getting worked up and only settles once she’s had a bottle, then she’ll fall back asleep. There dad sees them three times a week so it’s just me during the night.

Tbh it’s not that bad as DS will sleep through from 11-8 but the random waking from DD just throws off the consistent sleep I’m used too. I guess it’s all normal and I’ll just hope she goes back to sleeping through within some months then

OP posts:
YellowTreeHouse · 29/08/2022 19:46

You haven’t done anything wrong. Baby and toddler sleep isn’t linear. That means it goes through good patches and bad patches.

You’ve had it (unusually) amazing so far, and with one night wake up that’s brilliant too. You should be feeling lucky and grateful, especially when your mum is babysitting every week too.

Original poster
brightnesses · 29/08/2022 19:47

As harsh as it sounds, you having another baby and thus being tired doesn’t stop your first child’s natural behaviour.

@YellowTreeHouse okay? Where did I say it did? I’m just wondering why she’s started waking all of a sudden. I’m obviously exhausted from caring after both of them so I miss sleeping through. That’s all

OP posts:
Original poster
brightnesses · 29/08/2022 19:49

YellowTreeHouse · 29/08/2022 19:46

You haven’t done anything wrong. Baby and toddler sleep isn’t linear. That means it goes through good patches and bad patches.

You’ve had it (unusually) amazing so far, and with one night wake up that’s brilliant too. You should be feeling lucky and grateful, especially when your mum is babysitting every week too.

Should be feeling lucky and grateful….
Right okay, thank you for that as if I haven’t been feeling that already. Very bizzare comments coming from you

OP posts:
Original poster
brightnesses · 29/08/2022 19:51

If I were you I'd be basking in the unadulterated bliss of having a night off every week!

It’s a night off from one out of two kids but it’s definitely so nice. DD will be off at my mum’s tomorrow and DS is a very calm baby so I’ll have a relaxing time and will be doing exactly what you say😂

OP posts:
YellowTreeHouse · 29/08/2022 19:52

No, not bizarre. Sleep isn’t linear.

Original poster
brightnesses · 29/08/2022 19:58

I’m not talking about that. You’re speaking to me as if I’m a child regarding being grateful and lucky. I’m also not here to speak about how often my mum has my daughter so not sure why that’s your focus.

Thanks for your comments all. I’ll just wait it out

OP posts:
YellowTreeHouse · 29/08/2022 20:04

You were whinging about your toddler having one night wake, a 3 hour day nap, a baby that sleeps 9 hours, a wake up time of 7.30am and a night off a week.

Apparently despite two unicorn babies and outside help you are still whining about being tired.

So yes, my comments were justified.

catsandkid · 29/08/2022 20:09

I would try and cut the nap down a bit. 3 hours day sleep is quite a lot I think - my 14m has about 2hrs day sleep (usually one nap, but if woke early it's a 20min morning nap and an hour/hour and a half after lunch). My eldest was the same at this age.

Could you try and cut it to 2.5hrs even?

ShirleyPhallus · 29/08/2022 20:09

YellowTreeHouse · 29/08/2022 20:04

You were whinging about your toddler having one night wake, a 3 hour day nap, a baby that sleeps 9 hours, a wake up time of 7.30am and a night off a week.

Apparently despite two unicorn babies and outside help you are still whining about being tired.

So yes, my comments were justified.

This is really unfair to the OP, you obviously have your own issues but not fair to basically tell her to suck it up because others have it worse.

Original poster
brightnesses · 29/08/2022 20:21

YellowTreeHouse · 29/08/2022 20:04

You were whinging about your toddler having one night wake, a 3 hour day nap, a baby that sleeps 9 hours, a wake up time of 7.30am and a night off a week.

Apparently despite two unicorn babies and outside help you are still whining about being tired.

So yes, my comments were justified.

Bloody hell who rattled your cage?

I’m so sorry that I came on a parenting forum to ask what I should do to get my DD sleeping through the night again. I even commented saying that I thought I was doing something wrong or wondered if she needed more food during the day.

Not sure if it’s jealousy because I have help or because I have kids who sleep well but you really need to work on your issues and not project them onto strangers on the internet?

OP posts:
Original poster
brightnesses · 29/08/2022 20:22

catsandkid · 29/08/2022 20:09

I would try and cut the nap down a bit. 3 hours day sleep is quite a lot I think - my 14m has about 2hrs day sleep (usually one nap, but if woke early it's a 20min morning nap and an hour/hour and a half after lunch). My eldest was the same at this age.

Could you try and cut it to 2.5hrs even?

Ahh okay thank you @catsandkid I’ll try that. What happens during the gap between once they wake until they go to bed though? Because that’s when it seems my DD is super tired and always looks like she can’t hang on until bed time. Do they just have to power through basically?

OP posts:
pinkunicorns54 · 29/08/2022 21:06

I second cutting down the nap and maybe bringing bedtime forward?

I can only give a guide on what my 19month old does... (appreciate all children are different)

Typical:
Wake - 7.20
Nap - 12-1.30
Bed - 6.30 - asleep for 7

Vicky1989x · 29/08/2022 21:12

@brightnesses 3 hours daytime sleep is quite a lot, I’d cut it down to 2 hours and bring bedtime forward. You have to stick to it for a good couple of weeks to see any difference though.

Curious, did this start around the same time your second baby was born? It’s a big change for a toddler to adjust to a new baby.

BertieBotts · 29/08/2022 21:26

My 3yo started waking again at night when his brother was born, so yes that could definitely be a trigger.

I remember DS1 definitely seemed to wake from hunger at that age because it was when I realised milk no longer worked at night.

DS2 was just still waking up at night and hadn't slept through by then, so no change! But I remember it being a particularly frustrating time for sleep - maybe there is something developmental that goes on around then to do with walking maybe?

In general IME sleep is just a bit of a mess until they can get themselves sorted at night which is about 4-5 years old. They might have periods of sleeping well but nothing is ever guaranteed and things can keep upsetting them at various points.