No Rules Parenting

[CJan32]

After watching a couple of TV programs on the subject we thought we give it a go, much to the horror of my parents/

Anyone on here practice this type of parenting?

Daughter is 6 nearly 7.

• [ last line redacted at OP's request]

OP you put the request for PM in your OP. It's really a journalist.

We seemed to be in conflict with our daughter all the time making her eat greens and fruit, there was bed time and screen limit times and so on. Past few weeks we just allowed things to happen.

Er that’s just… being a parent. So basically you can’t be arsed with being a parent anymore. Your poor DC.

I think there's a massive difference between adopting a more relaxed approach in some areas and 'no rules'.

I've always understood that rules make children feel more secure (as bizarre as that sounds). Googled quickly before writing that and it comes up with lots of hits you might like to read (I searched on 'do rules make children more secure?')

I also think that as parents, our job is to prepare them for their life ahead. If your child isn't encouraged to follow rules at home, what will happen at school? Or at friends' houses? When driving? Or later on at work?

Maybe consider how you 'pick your battles' - which areas need rules and where can you chill a bit.

Also some things might vary - so not having a rigid bedtime might be ok during the long summer holidays, but would you want her going into school tired?

She's young enough to possibly benefit from a reward chart or similar to encourage her to do things like clean her teeth and brush her hair.

Re food, I think you put fruit and veg out at each meal but don't make a fuss. Over time she'll probably try things if it's not a battle ground. If she's not having much on some days, I'd put some vitamin drops in her drink (without her knowing so she doesn't see that as an easy way out).

Others may not agree with what I've said but that's the thing about being a parent, we have to decide what we think is important for us.

I'd consider what everyone has said on this thread before adopting a no rules approach - might make for an easier life now but I think you would be storing up trouble for the future.

I think maybe 'no pressure' parenting is what you mean, rather than 'no rules.' All children need rules.
I agree that forcing a child to do something is a sure fire way of making them not want to do it, or giving them issues later in life, but some things still have to be done, it's just how you get them done that differs.

I think that choose your battles is a more sensible approach than no rules. There is a reason for rules. Imagine a football match with no rules. No penalty for fouling, players picking up the ball and running with it etc. Life is not more enjoyable without rules. The reasons you want her to eat veg is to be fit and healthy but offering choice is one way to achieve that without a fight.

In a nutshell, this. I've seen it in practice.

Surely the natural consequence of a child who has no rules is that they become...a bit of an arsehole?

Adults who seem to think they can do whatever they want are arseholes. Why would you set your kid up to become one? It's a kindness to teach them how they need to operate in the world along with everyone else.