2.5yo sleep regression? Plus 2 hour bedtimes

[Pen89ox]

Help help help, my almost 2.5yo is perfect lovely and so independent with everything but bedtime. Bedtime and sleeping has never been great I was so tired I hallucinated regularly during his first year.

He’s waking at 7ish, naps for around an hr and is mostly up by 2:30 at latest (I’ve tried no nap but he is so not ready) but he just will not go to sleep at bedtime until earliest 9pm. From when I take him up to bed it takes about 45 mins minimum for him to sleep - tonight it’s been 2 hours. He screams if I leave the room so I sit next to his cot.

This has been the same for a while, however usually once he is asleep I’d get a few hours to sit on the sofa and stare into space do some chores before he wakes around 1am and I just put him in my bed and go to sleep, but the last few nights he is waking up after I leave the bedroom and screaming, this is repeated until I just give up and go to sleep with him next to me. I am getting no time at all to just catch up on doing anything and it’s grinding me down.

His communication/language is great and I’ve asked him if he’s okay and if anything hurts etc and he says no and that he just wants mummy.

You either need to cut the nap down by waking him early, or try an earlier nap.. or both.

My son is a few months older, usually awake by 7 and naps 12-1ish, but is fine on 30 min or so. If he sleeps past 1 he doesn’t go to sleep until after 9… even when he’s up by 1 sometimes bedtimes are tricky, but usually he’s asleep by 8.30.

He actually refused a nap for the first time last week which I was really stressed about, but actually it was great as I put him to bed at 7.15, took him 15 min to doze off and he slept until 6.45! Made me think I may start deliberately skip the odd nap here and there.

Sorry I missed the paragraph about the nighttime wakes. I’d suspect that’s because his nap is too late/long? Could also be developmental?

I have 2.5 yr old twins and this sounds familiarly hellish! My ds sleeps brilliantly and has gone through the night since he was 10 weeks (!) but my dd is a terror and regularly stays up til 10 or 11, or whenever the rest of the house goes to sleep. I’ve tried earlier naps, no naps, extra exercise, mucking around with meal times - the works - and nothing has made the slightest bit of difference. I was also going spare with the lack of downtime, getting behind on work and feeling like I couldn’t leave her with a baby sitter - was so stressed. So one thing I’ve started doing is leaving the night light on and letting her keep a few quiet toys and books in bed to keep her occupied with no pressure on her to go to sleep and although she’s not crashing out the minute I leave the room she’s also not screeching her head off and it’s less tense all round. That’s probably not amazing advice but it works for me! Solidarity 👊

That sounds exhausting! IMO, although timings/nap schedule/etc. might be able to be fine-tuned, these are not the core issues. The core issue is that your DS isn’t able fall and stay asleep on his own. If I were in your shoes, I would do some sort of sleep training appropriate for toddlers (not “cry it out”) to help him learn how to fall and stay asleep independently. I think this article does a good job of laying out some options: www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/sleep/issues/how-to-sleep-train-toddlers-and-big-kids/. The most important thing is to stick with a method consistently for a week if you can.