Worth applying for mediation/contact order when child is over 12?

[MatildaReads]

Is it worth applying for mediation and a contact order when the child is over 12?

I’m writing for a friend who is in a fragile state. She’s the NRP due to a severe hospitalised nervous breakdown (a few years ago), leading to her stepping back and allowing her ex-P to take on the primary carer role. She recognised it was in DD’s best interests at the time.

There are no formal contact orders or anything in place. Up until now, it’s all informal and relatively amicable.

She’s upset because her DD has only seen her once this holiday. Various plans have been made and agreed upon, only for her ex-P to turn around and tell her DD doesn’t want to see her. He puts it down to the teenage years. But not following through on agreements impacts my friend's mental state because she makes plans for her DD's visits, looks forward to spending time with her DD and feels let down when her ex and DD cancel at the last minute.

Is mediation and contact orders worth going for at this age? What are the alternative options?
We don't want things to become adversarial in court proceedings, but how likely is that to happen?

My friend is even considering cutting contact entirely because being messed about is adversely impacting her mental state, and she doesn't want to end up in the hospital again. So, any advice is welcomed.

Has she spoken to her DD herself? Unfortunately, at her age it is likely she wants to spend time with her friends rather then attend contact.

@Tigerstripes1 As you say, she wants to go to her friend's house or meet up with them in the park instead.

Her DD suggested the cinema one evening, which is better than nothing. But my friend feels it's not enough to make up for losing a more extended period of contact for just one evening out. Also, my friend regards cinema as not good enough for 'making meaningful connections' because they spend most of the time watching the movie rather than talking. I suggested they could talk about the movie afterwards... and that it's better than nothing.

Your friend needs to accept that her DD is growing up and will want to spend less and less time with her. It's sad for the NRP but fairly inevitable. She's being churlish by refusing the cinema because it's not 'meaningful' enough! She'll push her away completely if she does that.

@CloseYourEyesAndSee "It's sad for the NRP but fairly inevitable."

From what my friend is going through, it seems very sad indeed. She's the mother as the NRP, which is less common. So she feels an added layer of sadness, failure and distress.

If cinema meet-ups are a sign of the future, if she wants any contact with her DD, I'll let her know that she should go along with it.

If contact orders are no longer feasible, then it'll have to be cinema trips on her DD's terms.

For my friend, it'll be an adjustment.