Advice about my son's friendships

[mumof2monsters]

My DS is 6 1/2 and the youngest in his class his bday end aug. His friend who has been his best friend since school is almost a year older (all but a week). They have been joined at the hip since school started. Recently DS has come home from school and said this boy did not want to play with him and has joined other boys in the class who won't let him play. He finds this really upsetting and so do I. He another friend who has also been a bit like this with him.
Anyway this boys mum and I had a chat tonight and apparently my DS in reception year (used to kiss and hug this friend and say he wanted to marry him-he was 4 at the time), this boy found this uncomfortable. My DS has not done this for about a year and now understands boy/girl relationships. However this boy has distanced himself from DS and does not want to play with him. I appreciate there is nearly a year in age difference but it is upsetting for my son.
This boy said to his mum that my DS follows him around and he does not want to play with him. There seem to be a group of a few boys not wanting to let him join in.

Advice please not sure what to say to DS and I worry as this has been a good friendship for him for the last few years. i feel sad that he is sad and playing on his own at school. I know i may seem like I am going over the top but I want him to have friends and be liked as he is a lovely boy.
HELP...advice gratefully received.

And the other boys mum lets her son get away with this? Well shame on her!
I am sorry, but I am so incensed on behalf of your son that I have not a clue what to say.
I'll have a little think.

Have not spoken to them yet as not been fully aware of situation until today. DS has been coming home and saying this person or that person won't play with him and i thought he was being a little over sensitive as he can be but was quite worried after speaking to mum of DS bf.
Just find it a little upsetting for DS as him and his bf were like two peas in a pod. I have said it is good to make lots of new friends.
i feel like it is me back in the playground again going back some 30 years.

As hard as it is you have to take your own personal history away from this.
I wouldn't do anything about this tomorrow.
But, I would speak to your sons teacher/head of yr/headteacher.
Make an appointment for next week and give your self time to think about what you want to achieve for your son. Ask your son, (and maybe the other mum ) how long this has been going on.
Ask for advice from the school but in the same breath ask them what they will be doing to help your son through this.
Maybe you could also arrange a really cool play date for your son and a few other lads in his yr.
I don't know if that is of any help.

The same thing happened to my eldest, he was very "huggy" and used to try and hug his friends and as they got older they all got "macho" and started saying he was gay and that they didn't want to play with him. The ring leader ended up turning the entire class against him and this went on for over 2 years...even amounting to physical bullying at one point.

In the end I enrolled DS at a karate class, not so that he could beat people up...just to increase his confidence and teach him that not all 9 year olds are hanging around on street corners acting "macho". It worked wonders for him, he is now a confident young man and has a few proper friends. He's never going to be mega popular but at least he's happy now...and he no longer hugs his friends

I'm not trying to frighten you but for us, the situation escalated pretty quickly

This happened to my ds who is shy and withdrawn and clung to a boy who was friends with him for a while. While painful, it is one of life's harsh lessons. It taught my son about having a wider circle of friends and also to assert himself that he did not have to be treated badly. But also, I was honest wiht him that hte other child could play with who he wanted and my ds would have to move on. He has made other friends and he and this boy are not friends. He has come to realize however that the other boy is not a popular kid because he is often unkind, and my ds, who is still shy and quiet, is well liked. I would not force this boy on your ds but just help him deal with the disappointment of losing his friend, use it as a life lesson on the meaning of "real friends" and help him widen his circle. Not easy, I know, but your son will be stronger for it by not chasing after those that have clearly shown themselves not to worthy of his friendhsip.

It is difficult to know when to intervene- is your son being bullied or is it simply the case that the other boy would like to try out some new friendships? Remember children this age are fickle in their friendships, and in a sense they need to be - someone who made an ideal reception friend may not actually be the best friend for later in life. Forcing somebody to stay with their old friend is usually not very helpful to anyone.

I'd definitely have a chat with the teacher, but go in without preconceived ideas. Ask her for suggestions how your son can be helped to make new friends- is there something like a playmate stop in his school where lonely children can team up?

Christie1 put it so eloquently.

I would still also have a chat with his class teacher so she can be aware of any undercurrents and to ease his path a bit.

Your little boy may be better off with a wider group of friends. It might be that he and the other boy are growing apart. Try not to worry too much, children tend to play in groups at that age, not many stick with one friend from starting school. Eventually he'll find a friend he'll really click with.