Mum making me feel really guilty about 3 year old going to school

[threetimesacharm]

My 3 year old starts school next week, the nursery half days from 9-11:45. He already attends private nursery and loves going there and has come on a lot being around other kids and socially. I was showing my mum his school uniform, even the half days they want them in proper uniform and she was saying it’s just wrong, he’s so young, he shouldn’t have to wear a uniform and go to school, they’re only young once and he’s just turned 3, it’s not right. She said that none of us started school until we turned 5 and she was legally obliged to enrol us but that we were her babies for as long as we could be

I just feel really guilty now, to be honest I was thinking it’ll largely be the same as his nursery but will save me a lot of money and that it’s good for him to have a year like this to get used to it before starting full time at 4. Apparently it’s wrong to start him full time then anyway. She was a stay at home mum, it was different for her, I work a couple of days a week so it’s just not as easy. He’s only going to school 3 mornings a week for now, he is staying in nursery two days a week but when I go off on maternity in January he will go 4 mornings and apparently that’s me pushing him out for the baby, when really it’s just swapping a full nursery day for a school half day.

Am I doing the right thing and she’s just got an outdated way of thinking? Or should I be prioritising keeping him with me more?

Reassure her (and yourself!) that nursery and reception in school should be primarily play. What she is imagining in ‘starting school’ is actually year 1 and your little one won’t be starting that until they are 5years old, just like you did.

My kids went to a nursery where they wore full uniform, although the uniform for the whole school was polos, sweatshirts and school trousers/skirt (South London). They did the usual outdoor play, painting etc of all EYFS settings and they loved it. They were proud to wear their uniform and it saved getting paint over all their other clothes.

I was a bit sad to send my DD off to Reception full time at 4yo. Again she loved it.

Its all play in that age group, not school. No different from nursery. Enjoy not paying!

I actually thought it was school until others pointed out it wasn’t so yeah it’s all good

What country are you in Op? If UK then surely he's just going to nursery thats located in a school?

Why are you saying he's going to school?!

I've never heard anyone call nursery/preschool just 'school' before! Is that what's confusing her maybe? It would be bonkers for a 3yo to be in formal schooling but he's not, he's in early years education same as private nursery. He just has specific clothes to wear.

In fairness to the OP in small rural schools it's very common for nursery and reception children to be in the same room together. The nursery children eat at the same time in the school hall with the older children and have playtimes on the yard/school field with the rest of the school

That is the case in our school and at least three other schools in nearby villages.

we just call it school even when we know it's school and nursery. The children know which are the nursery children.

Oh and the nursery team share lots of classroom activities with the reception children as well, such as p.e, some school trips, sports days and some group learning/ topics in the classroom.

To all intents and purposes they are at 'school' but the learning is at nursery/pre-school level, is less formal and attendance isn't mandatory.

I loved nursery uniform. No arguments about wearing princess skirts on school mornings! The uniform was just a cosy school logo jumper, polo shirt and a pair of leggings and trainers but it was hard wearing, washable and didn't matter if it got covered in paint/mud/glitter glue

My son went full time at 3 plus breakfast club on my 3 working days. He loved it. We were only going to put him in on my working days but he wanted to go everyday. For him, he thrived he loved every day and made loads of friends. His nursery was wonderful and he's ready for school now. He's used to the school type environment and wearing a uniform.

I know not everyone has the same experience but it can be the best thing for some children. In all honestly my son has struggled over the holidays he's been asking to go to nursery/school he loves the routine, activities and social side.

I get it pastabest, hence I said it obviously suited many. I just think it's their last bit of no uniform, everyone the same, life so let them wear the princess skirt and so what if it gets paint on? Paint washes off anyway and actually I think mine worse smocks for painting. Different strokes for different folks. A friend of mine called creche for her toddler 'school' and his keyworkers 'teachers'... people do it!