Feeling broody

[sprite25]

Sorry if this goes on abit, but I'm feeling broody and I need someone to either a) talk some sense into me or b) tell me it sounds like a great idea (ha ha)
So abit of info me and DH already have three great kids (all planned, we also lost two pregnancies which were also planned). I'd be lying if I didn't find being a stay at home mum very stressful, mentally draining and exhausting. I also often feel alot of mum guilt if we have a bad day and I've lost my patience and shouted at them, I know no one is perfect but I put alot of pressure on myself to be a good mum and hate feeling like I have failed that. Anyway practically- we live in a small two bedroom house, very cramped but the rent prices being what they are it's all we can afford. We have pretty much everything left over from the other kids (clothes, buggy, highchair, bottles, toys etc) but we would have to get a bigger car. DH has recently started a new job which means he's home in the evenings and weekends to help with bedtimes and kids (his previous job was long unsociable hours). I'm still carrying alot of weight that I put on with DD (2) and am very self conscious of how big I am, I'm trying to work on that but have issues with using food as comfort or just going for easy yet unhealthy options. each pregnancy has gotten physically tougher (medication for hyperemesis with all and SPD with last one as well). Anyway...I've always wanted a big family and don't feel like I'm done with having babies, the thought of never being pregnant again or having another baby makes me feel really sad, I just don't know if the timing is right but with my history of miscarriage and DH not getting any younger (late 40s) I just can't get the thought out of my head to have another baby. Apologies again for the long post it's all scrambled in my brain right now

@Wouldloveanother I'm not able to have those due to complications from previous miscarriages. I wouldn't do anything until we were in a bigger house. Christ I forgot how mentally exhausting it is posting on here.
I'm off to chuck a cold can of beans on the floor so my poor unloved unfortunate children can fight for their dinner

Okay okay let’s just calm down everyone. OP I understand what you’re saying but most people will not tell you what you want to hear, they will tell you that baby number 4 is not a good decision any time soon. Moving to a bigger place isn’t as quick and easy as we’d like it to be, believe me I’m in a similar situation where we are in need of another bedroom and it really adds to the stress and chaos in the house. I’d prioritise that and then by all means baby no4 x

most people will not tell you what you want to hear, they will tell you that baby number 4 is not a good decision any time soon

I agree.
@sprite25 nothing you have written indicates why another baby would be a good idea.
Pregnancy makes you ill, so how will you look after the other three?

You don't say how old your children are, but now I am "the other side" so to speak, I think you need to face the reality of the teenage years:

1. The expense
2. They will need private and quiet space to study
3. The expense - they will need laptops for homework as it is usually set on the school's VLE, and secondary schools will assume that all pupils will have a smartphone so that they can take a photo of the homework.
4. GCSEs - the stress
5. A levels - even more stress
6. Potential friendship, relationship and bullying issues
7. UCAS
8. The expense
9. Your DH doesn't sound like he is on board - there is another thread on MN just now where the mum has had children when the DH was ambivalent, and he doesn't do anything to help her with the DC. She does it all.

Please think very carefully why you want another child. What does having four bring that three doesn't?

OP as a mum of three who occasionally entertains the idea of of a fourth, I understand your feelings. However, what always deters me is knowing that having a fourth would purely be for me. My DC don't need another sibling. They are already a little gang and adding a fourth would simply spread our time and resources thinner. I think it's natural to feel sad at never going through the baby process again, but now we are out of the baby phase I am enjoying the easier life. No more nappies and nap schedules. I love days out and holidays, but they are expensive with 5, let alone 6. I want to be able to buy nice clothes, eat in lovely places and indulge the DC's hobbies and interests etc and I know adding a fourth would financially make that difficult. I have accepted that the baby season of my life is over and I'm excited for family adventures as a group of five.

@MrsToadflax good point about kids not needing another sibling, a lot of people don’t factor that in when wanting another baby, it’s not just about what the adults want