Trying to get a reaction out of you... What do you do?

[greenbranch49583]

Before anyone says anything, I know realistically some things are best to ignore.

My 19MO is bright, his language is good and developmentally I'm pleased. But there will be times where we are in the middle of playing nicely and out of now where he will look directly at me with 'a look' (with a twinkle in his eye) grab something, throw it and wait for a reaction. I'm unsure how to respond.

Throwing, I know, is part of a toddlers development, but this is the kind of throwing that I feel that he is looking to see what I do. I could ignore it and not give a response, but what if this then evolves into something where another child gets hurt? This is what worries me.

How do you respond to these moments? Do I carry on as normal? Give a silly reaction? Say 'no throwing?' Advice online seems to be conflicting!

You give him plenty of opportunities to practice throwing safely, and keep unsafe throwing items out of reach. As with everything, it’s a phase and will pass!

Avoid saying 'no' to anything, young children dont hear 'no' or 'dont' and will just hear the bit you want to stop in this case 'throwing'.

If he threw something in appropriate I would acknowledge that he wanted to throw something but in a boring way dont give him a high reward reaction as then hell carry on and then if I wasnt at home use distraction for a different game or we had indoor snowballs at home and I would get those and play a game.

He literally is trying to see what your reaction is. If it were a teenager I would assign different motives but for a toddler they are working out what the boundaries are.
The first thing to do is to manage your own feelings so that you can use your logical mind rather than your emotional mind.
Then think about what you understand about him and what you want to teach.

Personally I'd go for "ooh watch out, I'm worried you're going to break it/hurt me/whatever. Looks like you want to do some throwing, here let's throw this more suitable item/over in this safer area/after lunch when we are in the park"
That way I have covered off my own feelings as well as my toddler's learning opportunity, while maintaining my own boundary and helping my toddler to become more independent.

I agree with the whole conflicting advice thing, if you look for what to do or say it's like that, but if you think about where you're destined in the medium term you can make a response that works for you.
Good luck!

Depending on the situation, you can engage immediate natural consequences. The consequence of throwing (or whatever) is that he can't have that item, or play that game etc, so it immediately gets put away up high. I'd say 'oh that's such a shame, but if you're not able to play with it properly/hold it etc, I'll have to put it away. Let me know when you think you're ready to hold it tight and we can play with it again'

This worked really quickly for my DS.