3 year old settling at nursery

[MyloC]

My 3 year old has just started nursery last week. He has never been to a childcare setting before as he was looked after by grandparents up until this point. He was so excited to start but is definitely struggling with the transition and just looking for any advice to make it easier (I know it's early days).

He went in last week no problem and seemed to enjoy it. This week there was tears at drop of Monday and Tuesday but not on Wednesday or today. However instead of tears at drop off he is going in and is fine for 10 minutes and then cries on and off until they phone me 2 hours later to say I should pick him up so it's not a negative experience for him.

He is able to express himself well and has very good speech so I have been asking him about how nursery is etc and he doesn't seem all that distressed about it at home. He tells me what he has for snack and about his key worker. However he says he doesn't like nursery 'just because'

I think probably the biggest problem is he gets overwhelmed with large groups of children / not being fully in control of situations. He is fine in one to one play dates though.

The nursery has suggested I put some pictures of us in his bag tomorrow and some toys from home he likes which I will do but wondered if anyone had been through a similar situation where the issue isn't at drop off but more throughout the session?

I should add I'm 37 weeks pregnant and probably overly hormonal but I'm keen to support him with this as much as I can before baby arrives.

Thank you if you made it to the end!

I suspect this is because baby is ok the way. Could Dad do drop off instead of you? That might help a bit.

Dad has been doing drop offs and he is fine going in regardless of who drops him off. It seems to be after the first 10 minutes he decides he's upset.

When you talk about nursery make sure you’re animated and enthusiastic.
it will be a big change for him especially with a new baby on the way.
my son is currently going through settling in at a new nursery after 18 months at a different one.

Oh dear. He’s got a lot of big changes going on, hasn’t he? It’s understandable that he’s a bit wobbly.

However, I wonder if nursery are being a bit premature. At my work a child crying ‘on and off’ in their first week of nursery is not unusual. We would give them lots of extra cuddles and distract with new fun activities. I don’t know if it’s a great thing that they’re calling you after a short time to collect him, because he’s now connecting cry at nursery with mummy’s coming back, rather than cry at nursery, cuddle with key worker and feel better, mummy comes later.

Also it will obviously be all different for him being in a big busy nursery group. But at my work if a new child was a bit wobbly I’d include them in quieter small group activities to build their confidence. That’s what should be being done.

Thanks for advice everyone. I did think it was premature phoning me after 2 hours but they said they wanted them to be able to trust him and not be upset the whole time. I don't think they told him they were phoning me he just thought it was pick up time anyway.

I'm not sure if something has happened as Monday and Tuesday he did really well and was in for 4 hours without any issues. Or maybe he has just realised it's an everyday thing?

I will definitely continue to be enthusiastic about nursery and hopefully he begins to love it (preferably in the next 3 weeks!!).