Would you be annoyed...

[antlerlily]

.....If infant (9-18 months) was at a fine dining restaurant for a 5/5:30 pm seating??

Family visiting from abroad in a few weeks and they love to go to nice restaurants. They treat us which is very generous but I'm worried now that we're weaning DS it's no longer appropriate to bring him out with us to white tablecloth, fine dining establishments?

We'd eat very early but I'm still worried we'd annoy other patrons? He's also weaning so I'd be conscious not to give him anything too messy but worried about that as well.

Or am I just being overly anxious about it?

If you WOULD be annoyed / WOULDNT bring your child out, how can I have that conversation with family? They want to spend as much time as possible with DS but I don't exactly see them being happy to eat at Nandos either

TYIA x

What do you mean when you say Fine Dining?

Do you just mean a nice, good restaurant or gastro pub which is a step up from Nando's or Pizza express - In which case fine to take your baby to an early sitting.

Or do you mean a three Michelin star place like L'enclume, restaurant Gordon Ramsay? If the latter the restaurant will advise you but I don't think it appropriate.

Not quite Michelin star but nice ££££ restaurants like Rules in covent garden for example.

These restaurants do have high chairs and no children after 7 pm policy usually, so it is 'allowed' but is it ok??

And mainly if you feel it's not appropriate how do I communicate to family who don't really consider this kind of thing?

Tbh saying 9-18 months doesn't help

A 9 month old usually acts very differently to an 18m old

I would take a baby (9m) not a toddler (12-18m)

Ah good point @AnnaFri sorry he's 9 months now but I imagine this will be a continued thing we run into with them when he's closer to 18 months as well because we have plans to visit them next year.

Essentially I feel bad because it feels like shutting down them trying to do something nice and special for us (we couldn't afford to eat at these places except maybe for a special occasion once a year). So how I do politely say it's not appropriate and gives me anxiety to the point I wouldn't enjoy the meal without offending them?

I get the feeling they think I'm being a worrywart over nothing and it's not a problem, especially if the restaurant allows kids?

I wouldn't view it as shutting them down

Most people have to change their expectations on days and meals out when kids come along and that also applies to family and friends.

If they want all of you to go out for a meal it would just have to be child friendly when they hit toddler stage - as a baby is a lot easier to control!!

I would just be -
That's such a lovely offer but not if it means taking DC along it won't be the relaxing wonderful experience it should be so let's take a rain check on that did the next decade or so 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Keep it light but make the point - you won't enjoy it.

A child that is removed if restless, stopped from making a mess, and is just 'there' is completely different to one allowed to scream for half an hour while turning the place into a modern art exhibition.

I would say fine to take as long as you are prepared to leave if it doesn't work. Doesn't matter if its wetherspoons or an expensive restaurant.

I would try and get a babysitter for a few hours and enjoy the fine dining baby free

A babysitter is what you need!

I'd probably go off whether the place has a children's menu?
Or just call the restaurant and ask if it is OK/ normal for people to bring babies?
Different establishments will vary a lot.

Hmmm I dont know. Depends on your child.

Its hit and miss - sometimes Dd who is 2 would sit absolutely fine in a lovely restaurant - ask for their food to come as soon as its ready. And other times she wouldnt want to sit, or eat, and we would have to take it in turns walking her around outside....

I think people either forget or maybe they never had kids so they dont take these things into consideration. Im sure one meal out with a screaming toddler would remind them...

As for other patrons, tbh I wouldnt care. If they have a kids menu, its fine to bring a kid. I would have thought 5pm would be pretty quiet at somewhere like Rules.

The restaurant sets the rules. The parents set the standards on the night.

Don't go if you are an uptight parent, you will be wasting your money. Don't go if your baby/toddler's behaviour is at the disruptive end of the scale as that is not reasonable to others.

The middle ground is fine - toddlers drop food and make different noises to adults but they are humans and I am happy to eat near them.

There is a line, obviously.

Get a baby sitter - you'll all enjoy the experience a lot more.

Not every person sees things the same way. Getting a babysitter is an option but the OP presumably wants to take the child or they would already be doing this.

I wouldn’t be bothered by a well behaved child at that time. We’ve done it plenty with our children and you do need to have strategies to keep them entertained and be prepared to take them out it they start to get restless. You won’t be able to sit and linger and it’s hard to enjoy the conversation with other adults. Personally, my biggest concern would be that the other adults may not understand if you feel that your DC is done and you need to leave, especially if they want to enjoy another glass of wine or order pudding.

I think it depends on the child, at 9 months my eldest was very happy being spoon fed mush and people watching for a good hour - hour and a half, my youngest would be trashing the place and climbing out a high chair in about 10 minutes. You know your baby.

BUT, I don't think I would have wanted to attempt it with either as I can't imagine I would have enjoyed the experience a