16month sleep

[MummaLeonax]

really struggling with my sons sleep, he won't go to sleep on his own, doesnt self sooth tried him with a comforter/teddy but doesn't do anything with them, he has his dad basically stroke him to sleep, my husband doesn't like the thought of the cry it out method at all, my son then will wake up alot in the night and sometimes I bring him into the bed because its the only way I can get some sleep.
the last couple of days I've put him in his cot after his routine and story and slowly went to the door..he starts screaming i know why this is because he's so used to his dad being with him in the room 🙈 i just have no idea what to do anymore, he's never been a good sleeper, we have tried so many methods and nothings worked we did try the cry it out method he cried for over 1hour got that worked up he was heavy breathing in his sleep so it worried me and my husband.
any advice?
thank you
please don't judge new mum still learning alot daily :)

Are you against co sleeping? If it's the only way you can get any sleep I would just roll with it for now. My first was like this and I had to lie with her to wait for her to fall asleep ( still do and she is almost 7 but that's another story!) Whereas my second who is the same age as your little one will go to sleep fine on her own but will still wake up in the night for milk and reassurance.

I think we beat ourselves up too much about sleep and routines. Just do whatever gets you the most sleep and whatever it is they will get there in the end.

I just dont want him knowing he is getting his own way because he's in our bed, but yes we definatly get a better sleep with him being in the bed, once he wakes up in the night in his cot i usually bring him into our bed he will sleep then till the morning but I know this isn't the way to go about it he needs to learn to self soothe himself and stay in his cot, thank you so much for your advice lovely yes thats very true we do need to do what gets us the most sleep I just worry about him screaming to get his own way when he's older with like wanting a toy or something because that's what he's doing to get our attention now x

I think they are too little to be playing us like that, they genuinely just want to be near you and that's fine! My 6 year old sleeps all night on her own once I get her to sleep and she knows she can't get her own way on everything, so don't worry about making a rod for your own back or anything like that! It's different if you actually want him out of your bed or you can't sleep with him in there then you need to work on getting him independent!