Taking pack lunches to grandparents house

[Mommyshere]

I've just started another thread about my parents but I have another question.

My sister and I run our own business. I went to my mums house today and when she got back she asked if I had bought a packed lunch for the children.

Now I know I shouldn't EXPECT anyone to feed my children but it didn't cross my mind to pack 3 lunch boxes. I just thought that a sandwhich etc would be ok

If there was an option for a poll I would make one (if there is an option I'm sorry I don't know how to make one!)

Who does this? And for dinner and tea??

How often do they look after the kids? My in-laws do one day a week of childcare for us for our 3 year old and we do send food for lunch. Generally leftovers from the night before that can be reheated. But that's because it's a regular thing, I probably wouldn't think to do it for a one off day.

Well I just went round to visit today as a one off to wrap up some business work. They don't go regular or anything but I think from now on it might be a good idea if it's something others do

I think, given your other question, your mum is making the point that she's having to feed your children, and care for them without payment, and it's getting a bit much.

How are your parents situated financially? I wouldn't ever ask someone to bring a packed lunch to my house, especially if it's an occasional thing but I'm not trying to survive on a pension. Are they struggling?

Unless you and your dsis run a sandwich business of course....😊

I always provided food or gave money for it, whether it was close family or close friends. Always.

Sounds like they just want money for having them, despite what MN says I don’t think it’s unusual my mum wanted money for having my kids she said all her friends pay their mums, just sounds like they are hinting at being paid. Maybe they can’t afford it?

Your other thread, @Mommyshere, that you refer to above, you are laughing off your father being abusive to you and your eldest DC hating him.

I think packed lunches is the least of your worries.

Haha no my mum and dad still work. Mum works senior in the civil service and dad is a millionaire still working a 35k job and a 12k pension. They like in a mortgage free 400k house. They don't struggle, they are very quick to judge us when we needed food banks etc. My mum once had £170 in her purse. I saw it as she had bought a new purse and was transferring all her things into it. I remember thinking god I look at conveyor belts in aldi full of food and want to cry and that's the money in her purse. I've told her in the past (before the purse thing) that I just feel crap about the shopping situation and that I'm saving to do a big shop and she said "we've all been there" if it was my daughter I'd be with money and walking her round aldi to fill her cupboard, fridge and freezer. That's just me though I can't expect that.

Yes you might have a point though that she is hinting that they think it's too much. I will take packer lunches from now on. We don't go often at all. Now she's seen them we probably won't now for another couple of weeks anyway and they will be back at school

Did she just ask out of curiosity so she knew what to do? Rather than complaining you didn't supply one?

No

She got back and said what have the children had for dinner, have you bought them a packed lunch?

Which I've never done in my life and I think it's a comment to put a nod to we need to take our own food

How often are they looking after your children?

I would personally pack a packed lunch for my LO when going to family or friends to look after. That way I know they've got things they like, have enough and dietary wise can have. Or I would ask whoever looking after LO whether I can reimburse them for providing lunch for LO or do something like take them out for a coffee/lunch/offer look after their LO when they need to say thank you, money permit of course.

We budget for the week/month so often wouldn't have any bread/sandwich fillings in to be able to offer anything if I was to look after someone's else's LO, unless I knew that I was going to be providing them with food and then I would be prepared (if I had anything in I would of course provide the LO with food or go out and buy something if I literally had nothing in they could have, but more to say we don't always have anything in to be able to just do this on the off chance they wanted/needed something.) I would also worry I wasn't feeding them what they liked/were used to and would worry I hadn't fed them enough. And then of course there is the effort of making them the food, even if it's just a sandwich.

I'm coming from it's from the perspective of my LO is still only little and only been weaning for a few months so I know it's slightly different for older kids. But still feel it will be very much the same.