I don’t want to go home after holiday

[Madtulip]

i really don’t want to go back. It’s not that it’s been a brillant holiday - it’s that it’s just I’ve had a break from schools/ extra curricular madness / neighbours /demanding work / extended family/ everything and I don’t want to go back to it. I want a change huge change and the daily drudge facing me next week again .. survived Covid fine but since restrictions lifted everything seems so … overly busy / demanding ??? Sick of kids not do g stuff for themselves and when they do making an arsh out of it etc. is it post Covid or pre menopause ( I’m 46 ). I’d be quite happy living in a cave in a deep dark cave with a few books !

Oh my god, are you me?? I came back from holiday and just feel like I need to change my life.
the endless round of seeing people and doing stuff and sitting at a Fucking laptop.
I’ve even considered retraining for an outdoor job (despite the 6 years + I’ve trained to do my current role). I just can’t be arsed with people and the whole
social merry go round. Specially facilitating the kids hobbies/social life etc
i want to live in a small shed in the grounds of a house, garden, read books, hike and cook meals which only I have to like.

Thank goodness there’s another- thank you for posting and hearing me. I’m due back to life Friday and instead of doing na online and paying for the kids activities I’m looking up flights to Canada - have a fantasy about living somewhere very rural , working in a supermarket and having enough to live a very simple quiet life. Another part of me wants to head to Ukraine - do something with meaning. Anything but get up face the hassle the kids to school , leg it into work , work like a demon as I have to leave to get kids ……. Repeat … organise shared lifts .. forget shared lifts .. apologise for forgetting shared lifts ..replace sports gear .. don’t have carrots touching potatoes on plates .. he doesn’t like apples oops wrong lunchbox … how can I do this for 10 more years. Give me a log cabin and a library please.

I liked the fact that in the pandemic there was nothing to do.

I feel if there is no down time then it's really stressful. I like to hibernate 4 days after a holiday. I used to think six weeks was ages but now I feel like I could join you in a separate shed for weeks on end. No pressure.

Sit down with paper and pen and work out what you can cut from your schedule - and do it. If the kids love all their activities then I’d cut down on seeing extended family. How often are you seeing them? If weekly, make it fortnightly. Make the kids do some tasks and put the effort in until they’ve got it. Usually takes about 3 weeks to form new habits. Im trying to nail this and starting to see some success eg if PE kit is not in the wash when I say so I turn his PC game off. I’ve worked out that the consequences of not doing what I ask need to be sufficiently irritating that he learns quickly. Just leaving him with smelly kit didn’t bother him. I want it washed so it had to be something more significant that happened to make him comply!

This is one of the reasons I’m getting anxious about going on holiday next week. A whole week to myself with nothing to do but what I want to do - I don’t think I’ll want to come home!

Thanks Ladies. I feel better already. That’s a really good idea Maray about structuring things. I was more structured when they were younger (have three aged 8 to 14 ) but last term I was forgetting things/ last minute rush out the door etc. I think I’ll cut down to things they must do / really like. Like gymnastics - an hour there and back and I supervise .. I’m 5 “9 and ds she’s way too tall for it (8) etc. only doing it because pals doing it etc so thinking on it there’s a few things like that .. re kids tasks yes get them to do more. I did have bitter experience of the dishwasher .. said to older two right from now on you load you unload morning and evening .. a few weeks of that and it was a big help .. then it broke BECAUSE they were slamming the door too hard and pressing all the buttons so electronic part broke … had to buy a new one. I just want them to sharpen up help more and remember their own bloody gear. I’m now watching 12 year old DS out the window cleaning our dog with it must be four rolls of toilet paper for s a small bit of sheep poo ..

It’s felt like we are making up for lost time seeing people after lockdown but frankly I’m good now. I just want to do my garden on a weekend.
DD9 is being an absolute mare at the moment- maybe she is feeling it too. I hate the juggling of holiday club, days out, house stuff. I just want to mooch.

Could be the peri-menopause op. I am certainly affected by it (similar age to you) and yes to the log cabin and library. I struggle with the mental load (whereas I used to be super organised and efficient) as much as the physical load and I feel as if I want to hide away from it all. My dc are still relatively young so I have many, many more years of this potentially.