How can I feel less irritated by my 4yo?

[Downandout01]

So, we are 5 weeks in to an 8 week summer holiday here and I am finding myself increasingly irritated by nearly everything my poor 4yo does. She doesn't even need to be doing anything that awful but I just feel irritated and want to scream. I have been trying really hard to keep a lid on it but today it has got to stage where I've just snapped at her today.
I am on mat leave atm and have an 8month old too.
I just feel like all DD does is constantly ask for food, ask for television and nag for any sweets she may have in house (from parties or the weekend or whatever). She can't sustain independent play for longer than 3-5 mins. We have lots of toys, puzzles, books, pens, paper, playdoh, dolls etc.
She finished her lunch (2 slices of bread sandwich, fruit and veg) and 20 mins later is saying she's hungry. I just cannot believe she can be starving hungry after a decent sized meal? She already has so many snacks - some days we get to the point where there is genuinely nothing else to offer her, she has had one of everything. I just want 10 mins to myself whilst the baby sleeps and even with television on she will not leave me alone. I feel trapped in this house without a minute to think for myself- it is beyond suffocating.
I don't know how to change this situation or my feelings. I feel like a terrible human to be constantly irritated by own child and today I felt an actual wash of rage when she came to find me 10 mins after finishing a meal to ask for something else. I just want to scream at her shut up shut up. But obviously I can't and I don't but I really feel that element of control over my emotions is getting to breaking point. I have a partner who is working. We get out the house twice a day around baby's naps for endless playdates, park trips, and activities and trips to pool or library. I'm just sick to the back teeth of it all. I'm exhausted and I'm hating every single minute of these holidays atm and quite frankly wishing I was back at work.

No real advice op except to say you are in a very difficult phase of parenting and it does get easier.

I have a 4 year old and I found myself nodding along to much of what you have written - the constant hunger thing in particuar and wanting sweet stuff.

It is difficult to keep a four year old stimulated - they often move from activity to activity within minutes (sometimes I find that I have spent longer setting the activity up than what they actually spend doing it for example, painting.) Their attention span is less whereas an older child might watch a program through/play longer with lego/crafts or other activities - so your down time tends to be less. My dc is at their best when outside doing something energetic which involves me hanging around parks etc. Also, it is much easier when you don't have a second younger child to organise etc, this adds another layer of stress I think.

My dc starts school in September, I assume yours does to? Hopefully, things should get a bit easier during the day for you (once the school run/getting ready for school is done). If baby naps, you can grab this time and do something for yourself (not rush around doing jobs). I used to look at this time as golden time for me. Probably difficult to change your situation unless you have alternative childcare arranged/family support. What you have written is very honest. Someone might come along with rose coloured glasses/looking back saying time passes quickly etc. but it doesn't feel like it when you are in this place. Hold on op, you are not alone in this. You sound like you are doing a great (and what can be a very difficult) job.

Thank you @ReturntoNarnia for your kind words. I really appreciate them. Since I posted we have had some much better days thankfully and I feel like I've regained perspective and some calm too. It is just absolutely bloody relentless this parenting malarkey though and I'm trying to not beat myself up for not loving every second and 'treasuring every minute'. Cos quite frankly many minutes are actually shit!

You can borrow my seven year old? I would bet she is more irritating than your four year old right now! We've all been there, and mt five year old is joining in too. Sometimes I just stand in the kitchen reading my phone, hoping they won't come and tell me that so and so has happened or they are hungry or asking if we can go to the park or what's for dinner.

No advice but my support. I have a four year old and a 5 month old and something my eldest did yesterday tipped me over the edge and I had to hide in the kitchen for a quick secret cry. It's hard!

Sympathies OP. It is very relentless and the holidays are long.

Regarding the food, could it be that she is genuinely hungry rather than bored? I’d go for richer, denser food at lunchtime (sausages and mash, spag Bol, chilli with rice etc) and sandwich for afternoon tea instead. Just a thought.

Secondly i wonder if giving her some bursts of very intensive one-on-one time (read aloud, play a game together, hide and seek) would buy you a bit of peace and quiet in between?

Lastly could it help to set up toys and games for her to play with eg after she’s in bed set up a playmobil scene so that it sparks her imagination and she doesn’t have to create something from scratch?

4 is quite young to play completely independently in my experience. Physical games like pillow fight, balloon football, playing in the bath etc can engage and satisfy a little one and get you both laughing together. Hopefully!