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Parenting

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I got angry with my 3 year old and feel awful

6 replies

HelpMeBeBetter · 22/08/2022 12:01

My DD is 3, almost 4. She has never been a good sleeper ever since she was born. We've sleep trained and it helped to an extent but she regularly wakes up in the night for 2-3 hours at a time. Usually around 2am.
It has happened every night for the last 2 weeks and I am knackered. I also have a 6 month old who wakes regularly and I am juggling them both at night.
Last night she woke at 1am and I laid with her to encourage her to go back to sleep but she couldn't. Usually I just lie there and gently encourage but I was exhausted and got really cross with her about it and ranted and raved about how we must sleep at night, her behaviour is unfair, if she carries on doing this we won't be going to gymnastics anymore, blah blah blah. I lost my cool and I feel awful. She kept saying sorry 😞. I dont know what to do. It's been 4 years of this and I'm exhausted but mainly I feel so guilty for getting angry with my little girl who wasn't misbehaving, she just can't sleep.
Does anyone have any tips for sleep or just words to make me feel less awful. I calmly apologised this morning and she was fine but I feel dreadful.
Dad is around and helps when he can but gets up really early for work so I do most weeknights.

OP posts:
Basilandparsleyandmint · 22/08/2022 12:35

You sound absolutely exhausted you poor thing. I sympathise as I had a similar age gap between mine - my oldest was a dreadful sleeper until about 31/2 - 4.

Is there anyone that could take them overnight so you can get a proper rest. Sleep deprivation is absolutely dreadful.

it wasn’t ideal but I was so exhausted My oldest and I used to nap together in the afternoon for an hour whilst my baby had a nap too.

HotDogKetchup · 22/08/2022 12:36

I would get a sleep consultant. I had a similar situation and within 5 days of a new routine we knocked it on the head.

Treabrea · 22/08/2022 13:14

My 4yo has periods like this - I can normally hack a week or ten days but once we get to about 2 weeks that's me exhausted. I've snapped a couple times, especially when she starts WHINGING the next morning that she's tired. Yes babe, you will be, you were discussing the entire plot of the paw patrol film at 3am.

You've said sorry, it's done. Draw a line, try and get an early night tonight.

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HelpMeBeBetter · 22/08/2022 15:46

Thank you for the rational responses. I agree that drawing a line under it and getting an early night is the way forward.
We've had a sleep consultant when she was a baby but could be a good idea to revisit that idea now she's older.

OP posts:
lailamaria · 22/08/2022 17:04

you've apologised at least which is good but i'd make it very clear that what you did is wrong yes you were sleep deprived but if she acted like that even as a child you'd find it unacceptable

AegonT · 22/08/2022 22:27

I have Dr Ferber's book and there's a chapter or section on split nights in there. A sleep consultant is also a good idea. Being sleep deprived is awful I really feel for you. I would definitely look into sleep training. We all lose our rag sometimes and I'm sure she'll get over it!

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