is having an only child selfish?

[spottyzebra]

hi dd is 7 months old and the light of my life

before i had dd, i would of done anything to have a baby, but just don't feel that strongly about having another

to those with more than one, was your desire to have more children as strong as your desire to have the following children?

aslo i think my feelings may stem from feeling 2nd best after my brother he was the favourite, am i worried i may have favouries as i cannotimagine loving anyone as much as dd, or loving another child more

i know dd is only 7 months so i may feel differently in time, also i had a fairly difficult pregnancy and birth so that maybe be part of the reason that puts me off

no , not selfish at all

(well, actually, possibly is some selfishness to it but selfishness is not always a negative thing at all, can be a positive thing. Personal choice - sometimes - that does no harm to parent or child. There)

bloody hell princess that is so rude, why do others thibk they can tell us how to live? grrr

I was quite happy with just DD and tbh, wasn't that bothered whether we had any more or not, but I think that is largely due to DD's various illnesses as a baby, the fact she didn't sleep through until she was 13 months old, plus as time went on, DH and I got involved in studying and careers became part of our lives.

Saying that, however, I am now (unexpectedly) pg with DC2 and I am definately happy to be adding to our little family.

My family subscribed to the favourite younger sibling thing and I am determined not to be like that with this one although I do worry how DD is going to be as she has had us all to herself for 4 years. I'm sure it will all work out fine in the end, probably just me worrying unecessarily.

I don't think it is selfish to have just one child, as I said, I would have been happy with just DD but it's down to personal choice/circumstances.

I was the older sibling btw

Isn't this asking "are you going to have another?" just one of those things that people say - often without thinking too much? I've been asked quite a few times, despite the fact that I'm now single! Usually a reply involving something about sperm donation shuts them up..
(Would secretly like to though, especially as DS would be such a lovely big brother)

I think its wrong to judge anyone reasons. It could be argued that its selfish to have lots of children when the planet is over populated.

My son's best friend is an only child because his mother has had a series of miscarriages and a little girl who died shortly after birth.

She has given up trying to concieve because she can't cope with the emotional pain of losing children.

well last we i was asked are you thinking of giving dd a sibling

as if im going to bring a whole new life into the world to be a sibling

I hate being asked if and when I am going to have another. Too us ages to concieve D and have been unsuccessful TTC for past 3 or more years this time, and spent the last year under the consultant regarding problems following my last c section, and last 4 months having two ops and lengthy hormone treatment, which may or may not help improve my chances. Still ongoing.

It is one of those questions people just ask without thinking, but if you think about it - it is such a personal and quite rude question to ask someone.

I now tell people the truth - soon shuts them up!