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Original poster

20mo boy not saying much

19 replies

colditzmum · 27/11/2004 00:42

And dp says its my fault for not letting him go to nursery. But I don't feel that the nurseries in our area are up to much, and we don't have a car so can't travel far. He is always with one of us, me or his dad, and I do take him to see other children, but TBH I don't feel that he is ready. Is it my fault?

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kinderbob · 27/11/2004 00:53

My ds only went to nursery a couple of weeks ago and he could already talk (same age). Whilst that won't make you feel better in one way, it should reassure you that nursery is nothing to do with it.

Does your dp read to ds? That would be the single biggest help in my opinion.

mishmish · 27/11/2004 00:56

Hi colditzmum, my DS is 23m and still not talking properly. He has been to nursery 2 days a week since he was 20m but I haven't noticed that this has made much difference (apart from making him better at animal noises)! Everyone keeps telling me not to worry as he communicates and understands well, but I do worry. Sorry, this is no help but I'm absolutely sure it's not just to do with nursery and you aren't "not letting him go" you're just not happy with what's available.

Original poster

colditzmum · 27/11/2004 01:12

No, dp doesn't read to him but I do. he makes some animal noises and does a cute impression of an elephant when he see's one. The choise of nurseries in our area is parlous - one was shut down pending an investigation into allegations of child cruelty(!) and I have heard bad reports about the other one - mainly my friend told me that she knows someone who's 10 month old daughter was left in a high chair for 45 minutes with a dirty nappy on. So not happy about either.
TBH I think dp uses it as a way of getting at me, as he knows it is something that worries me.

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mishmish · 27/11/2004 01:21

both those nurseries sound dreadful, how could you be expected to send him there after hearing things like that? None of this is your fault - you are giving him loads of one-to-one time and reading to him, what could be better? I bet that in 6m you and I will be on a thread called "why won't my DS ever put a sock in it?"

mishmish · 27/11/2004 01:45

night colditzmum. Have a happy weekend with lots of animal noises. Pig is our favourite x

THERESA · 27/11/2004 06:20

My ds was 3 a fortnight ago & I've considered him slightly slow in every way (see potty training thread!). His speech was non existent, we've friends with a daughter a month younger and another with a son 2 months younger. Both of them started speaking before mine, 'bye bye' etc, from my son - nothing. Suddenly he can speak brilliantly, I don't know where it came from really, it was gradual throughout the summer I think. Anyway the friends daughter is still miles ahead of my ds with her vocabulary, but my ds's speech is now miles better than the boy who's 2 months younger. I wasn't really worried (you don't with child no 2) so I didn't do anything. But if you really are worried have a word with your h.v.

fisil · 27/11/2004 07:22

colditzmum, ds has been going to nursery since he was 8 months. There is a little group of about 5 of them who have all been at nursery together since they were tiny, and they are all now between 22 and 25 months. One girl has been talking very well for ages, one boy only grunts. The other three fit somewhere inbetween. I think it is simply that children develop at different rates, I don't think nursery has that much influence.

MancMum · 27/11/2004 08:03

I would not worry at all - my DS did not talk until he was 2 and then started talking in almost complete sentances = none of that bic=bic for him - he went straight for 'Can I have biscuit' as his first words... he now almost 5 and his vocab is way ahead any of his contemporaries according to his teacher...

He had a very mixed care when he was young - mixture of Dad (trappist mute), Granny 1 ( normal leevls of speech, Granny 2 (not stop stream of conversation) and 2 half days at very good nursery... from talking to others, kids lie with everything else, will talk when they are ready despite and not because of everything you do to encourage them!!

nailpolish · 27/11/2004 08:12

colditzmum - my friend and i had our babies only days apart (2 yrs old now) - i have a dd and she has a ds. my dd has gone to nursery/childminders since she was 6 months (2 days a week) and her ds has never gone to either, always been at home with his mum.

they started speaking at the same time and i wouldnt say going to a childminder etc has helped my dd talk cos friends ds is at the same stage.

zebra · 27/11/2004 18:11

How much is he saying, Colditz? Reception teacher has praised DS for being so articulate (she means, he never shuts up!), how that will help when he starts reading, etc.. But at 20 months he only said about 10 words that I could make out -- if that many. And he had gone to nursery for 10 months by then, too.

coppertop · 27/11/2004 18:18

As long as he understands you and can let you know what he wants in other ways, eg pointing, showing you etc then I really wouldn't worry. Easier said than done, I know!

As others have said, going to nursery doesn't make that much of a difference tbh.

joash · 27/11/2004 18:30

Grandson is 23 months and has only just started saying words clearly enough for me to understand. If anyone else is around - he just talks gobbledygook. We read to him and with him regularly and have done since he was very small. Like your DS, he communicates well and can easily get across the message about what he wants and he's great at some animal noises. He's been going to nursery for two days a week since he was 13 months - not made any difference at all.

I'd like to bet that within the next 6 months or so - you start wishing that he'd shut up for a minute or two, cause he'll be talking none stop.

PuffTheMagicDragon · 28/11/2004 01:16

At 20 months ds1's language was nowhere near what seemed to be the recommended "norm" in all the baby/toddler books and as he was my first I fretted about it. But then, the words came, I noticed a big change when he got to two and a half.

He's now 3.5 and likes to pull me up on my expressive language ie if I say "Thomas the Tank Engine looks upset", ds will say, "No Mummy, he's much worse than that, he's cold, miserable and extremely tired!"

That's me told then !

Gobbledigook · 28/11/2004 07:43

Not your fault at all and my ds's were exactly the same. Not saying much at all at that stage, but like Puff says, by 2.5 they had come on leaps and bounds and ds1 who is now 3yrs 8months is just like Puff describes. His language is fantastic and very, very descriptive - everyone comments on it.

He began to speak much later than some of his friends the same age but now I would say his language is way ahead of theirs.

DS2is 24 months now and he only says single words and many of those are only recognisable to me. His friend, a girl, who is 6 weeks older has been talking in sentences since way before she was 2. DS2 will catch up though - it doesn't matter, they'll all be talking well by 4!

It's nothing to do with nursery - don't worry - he'll talk when he's ready. He's taking it all in and one day he'll just blurt it all out!

mishmish · 28/11/2004 16:48

MancMum, family descriptions made me howl! And Puff, how's that for being put in your place!!! You're all stars. I hope colditzmum sees this soon xx

tammybear · 28/11/2004 16:55

hi colditzmum, my dd doesnt go to nursery, doesnt see many other children, in fact she probably only sees me or my mum on a regular basis. my dd doesnt say much, knows a handful of words and animal noises, recognises the number 2, and thats about it. does your ds know some words? and dont let your dp get to you, if hes concerned, then get him to read to ds or something.

and bless your little one puff!

Original poster

colditzmum · 28/11/2004 17:07

Thanks everyone for your replies. Ds loves reading, And likes to point at things to get me to respond with a lable.
Puff, I loved the TTT story, It made me lol! And manc mum, my dm says that ds can't talk because he can't get a word in edgeways.

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colditzmum · 28/11/2004 17:09

By the way, does anyone know what DOHDOH means? Ds says it in a very plaintive tone of voice.....

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jollymum · 28/11/2004 17:27

Dummy? (not you, obviously, the word!) [rin]

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