20 month old being a complete pain in the high chair and at mealtimes

[silvergoldstars]

My 20 month old eats brilliantly at nursery, but at home is a nightmare. He throws food and cutlery around (on purpose, it isn’t just dropping it by accident) uses his fingers (he refuses any help eating) has an unlovely habit of suddenly grabbing hold of you with food covered hands and is generally difficult in the high chair, standing up in it and messing around. I’ve tried a booster seat at the table but it hasn’t made a difference.

Any ideas? Some days I seriously question if he’s going to be malnourished!

At that age we had a little toddler table and chairs from IKEA and I let my DC eat at that if they wanted to. Eating with their fingers too is normal for such small DC, although I appreciate if there is gravy or sauce it's very messy. Can you make an agreement with him that food with sauce needs to be eaten with a fork and dry foods can be eaten with fingers?

It sounds like he doesn't like being confined, which is also normal. How would you like to be strapped into a chair at mealtimes? I know I'd hate it.

As soon as he starts messing around, the meal is over. Get him down, clean up and remove the food. Most of this kind of behaviour is attention seeking. Any kind of attention is good, so the more you react, the more he does it. He won't starve.

I can try - just worried he’d be up and down. The annoying thing is he asks to go into his high chair then has three bites and the meal is over. I do get him down when he starts messing about but I am genuinely a bit worried as some days he doesn’t eat enough to keep a sparrow healthy.

He wouldn’t understand any sort of negotiation or similar, I don’t think.

What is the set up at nursery? Is he in a high chair there or round a table? I had a high chair and a booster seat, but we always sat round the table together and ate together. High chair fitted over the table so child always included.

The other thing I used to do was to prepare things that could be eaten easily with hands, like pieces of fruit and veg, cheese etc. Put them on his plate one at a time. Remove the messy food once they weren't eating it.

Doesn't the high chair have straps to secure him?

At 20 months he's old enough to understand simple consequences. With ds who liked to start dropping his food on the floor mid way through the meal, we took the plate away from him with a firm 'no dropping food' and he soon learned to keep the food on the plate. Using cutlery is something we've taught over time, but it takes a lot of coordination.

Some mess is inevitable though. I have a 4.5 yo and an almost 3 yo and they both still get messy when eating, and use a mix of hands and cutlery most of the time. We keep a couple of damp flannels on the table at every mealtime and remind them to wipe hands and face etc. They also have to wipe hands and face before they leave the table. They're getting better at it now, but at 20 months I was still cleaning them up post meal.

Never put a child in a high chair without strapping them in securely. They can fall out so easily. If he can stand up he is not safely secured.

Scrap the high chair for a while. Pack it away without word. Sit on the floor picnic stylee, or at a coffee table.
Break the habit and change the routine.

I don’t mind mess but huge difference between accidentally dropping some lasagne on the floor and purposefully loading his spoon and throwing.

He is a Houdini child and can escape from straps. Easily.

I have ordered a toddler table, hope it makes a difference.

He won't escape from reins put to the d rings

Sorry, posted too soon.
I did this because i had an escapee/high chair stander.
It was amazing that when he could actually run away he never did

My Mum, a childminder of 30+ years advised me on this. She quite often had some kids at the table and some with little trays over thier knees on the floor.
Theres no rule to say every meal has to be at the table. Get the kids fed stress free!

?

Anyway - have ordered a toddler table. Just hope he doesn’t eat a mouthful and bolt.

@SantanaBinLorry - I do agree. Mealtimes should ideally be a nice fun experience.

We had reins and D rings on EVERTHING. Pram, carseat etc.

Mealtimes were still stressing me out and I figured losing the highchair/table was the least dangerous