Should I say enough to demanding hobby

[Dmhmom]

My 12 year old DD has done dance since age 3. She mainly loves it. But has become a monster.
costs an absolute fortune!
consumes many many weekends at comps/ associate programmes.
It at time causes her great anxiety due the pressure to win medals/ get crazy exam scores (apparently 92% is not that good) etc etc.
We try to be good parents support her hobby/ take her where she needs to be/ pay out more money no questions asked.
However the latest issue has me asking when is enough enough???
she has been dancing 3 hours on a Tues/ 3 hours on a Thursday/ 5 hours on a Saturday. Plus all the extra comps/ shows/ associate groups.
Having just done her grade 5 ballet we discovered today grade 6 is on a Wednesday. So yet another day at dance!!! When is she meant to do homework/ socialise with friends/ spend time with us or actually relax???
I have said I think she should give up the Thursday (comp class) and the comps to try and bring some balance back to her life and ours (she has 2 siblings we have to balance this all with as well).
She is sooo upset. Not in a selfish or moody way. She is crying in an understated heart broken way ( which is 10000 times worse because it’s making me feel like the evil one!).
Should I stick to my guns and say no?
Im angry with the dance school for expecting a 12 year old to be there 4 days a week especially 3 school nights in a row!!
I want her to be a well rounded kids who just has a hobby she loves, but enjoys other things as well!

That's a decision only you can make, there are plenty of kids who do manage to make it work. Dance, gymnastics, swimming all have huge training requirements but mostly all the kids do manage to juggle the commitment of the sport with school work, family life etc to a certain extent anyway.

BUT
If you dont think its right for her or can't afford it or feel it's negatively affecting your other kids then you need to do what you feel is right.

For what its worth my son swims every school night and on a Saturday and then all weekend for galas including overnight stays etc. He is 12 and I couldn't imagine taking it way from him he would be devastated and I dont think it would lead to more time spent on homework and with the family I think it would result in an angry, bitter, depressed pre teen which no one wants to have to deal with.

This was me at the same age. I would have been devastated if my parents took it away from me.

This was also me up until I went to university. I danced 4 school nights a week plus extra lessons on a weekend near exams. Luckily my dance school was essentially at the end of our road so once I was old enough I got myself to and from dancing so didn’t impact the rest of the family.

I had a friend who did gymnastics most nights, friends with horses, swimming before school etc. Having an all consuming hobby is part of teenage life!