First time mums who are teachers - going back to work, how did you do it?

[AweeYoung890]

First time mum here. Going back to secondary teaching in September. I’m feeling so overwhelmed with the thought of how will I manage to juggle work and baby; it’s putting a dampener on my holidays with her. I’m already finding it difficult to keep on top of house work and feel so much pressure to make the most of this precious time I am so lucky to have. I was hoping to get some work prepared before September but struggling to find the time for that even. If I’m finding it tough now whilst I’m on holiday then how will I cope when I’m at work?! The sleep deprivation doesn’t help.

Other teachers - how did you cope going back after maternity leave? Any tips to help get that balance?

I went part time for a few years. Now my youngest is late primary I'm able to work full time again. DH's job mean that he leaves for work at 5am and can rarely share pick ups though, so it does depend on your personal circumstances though. I found the hardest bit were evenings when DC were unsettled and I really needed to get some work done.

Good luck. Hopefully you'll settle into a rhythm soon.

I also went part time. Love it.

I went back when DS was 3 months. I worked 3 days a week and moved to Reception, but this was nearly 15 years ago, so hardly any paperwork. I was employed more like a permanent cover teacher and as it was a large school, I didn’t have planning either. I left after two terms though due to the commute. Did supply for a bit then stopped working when had DD.

First time Mum here too (primary school). I've been back at work a year now since having my son (part time). It was a real shift for me going from being in charge to (not in charge- my choice ) and not knowing everything that happened in a week. I had to let the control go which was hard in some ways and refreshing in others. For me when it is my work days I do long days. I leave at 7am and then pick my DS up at 6pm. My DH has picked up the slack for me and he will cook dinner when I'm at work and do some house jobs when he finishes at 5pm. After DS is in bed we eat and then I do more work. On my days off I don't check work emails and won't do any work either. I've had to separate it for my own sanity. I only work Sundays during my sons nap and in the evening. I must admit I have done the minimum to survive this year. My DS was an awful sleeper too and there were days where I've taught on 3 hrs sleep. Thankfully this summer he's turned a corner so fingers crossed next academic year will be better. I've had a great team of people working with me that has helped. Are you going back full time?

I went back full time when did was 7 mknths. Now expecting baby 2.

Do as much as you can in work. You have to know when it 'will do' rather than trying to tweak things until they are perfect.
The housework is not always done... I do a weekly shop and we have a lot of slow cooker meals etc.
My dd does quite long nursery days but I do not work at the weekend or during school holidays. If I need to, I put her in to nursery.
Honestly, you will get into the swing of it! Do you have a supportive hod?

The first time, after DD1, I went back full time. She went to nursery 7.30 to 5.30. The nursery was very close to my school, so I did drop off and pick up. I worked after she went to bed and cleaned on Saturdays. My husband does all the cooking, but we didn't eat with DD1, she had all her meals at nursery (she often went in in her pyjamas!). When she started nursery at 10 months she was still having 4 bottles a day, but soon dropped them. She was frequently ill and she stopped sleeping. It was hard on 3 hours a night, but I did it, and you can do it too!
With DD2, I went back 4 days a week for about 2 years, but this was 7 years later and I was SLT. It really affected my career and delayed my progression by about 3 years I think, but I loved my Wednesdays doing the school run, the aldi shop etc. DD2 didn't sleep though until she was 5 so I'm permanently haggard I think!
My life really transformed when I had both kids at the school so my husband could help with pick up and drop off, and he now works from home since the pandemic so he does a lot more washing! I still clean on Saturdays only, wash up once a day. He does the food shop.
It will be tricky at times but you will be OK.

I went back full time, primary. DD goes to my parents 3 days a week and nursery for 2. She’ goes 8-5 and has breakfast lunch and tea there. I usually get to school for 8.15 and leave at 4.30 and I work hard while I am there to try not to bring work home. I also keep DD in nursery during the holidays and work those days so I get all of my afternoon planning and English planning done for the term, this really reduces the day to day work load as I then only have to tweak things, plan maths and mark day to day. I also deep clean the house on these holiday nursery days and then during term time we are hardly in it so it stays clean with a bit of a flick over. Everyone pitches in with housework, I get shopping delivered and also bulk cook during the holidays so meals are usually freezer ready. It’s a hard slog but the holidays and weekends are free then for good quality family time.

Thank you for your responses and support. Feeling a bit better about it. I’m going back full time as I have a TLR which wouldn’t work part time. I’m the ‘breadwinner’ and we initially thought DH could do some part time but he’s had a promotion so whilst 9-5 job, it’s also very stressful & physical job. He’s very supportive but we’re both burned out by our poor sleeper.

I too am worried about the nights where dd is unsettled and I have work to do but really hoping I can drop my “perfectionism” I gave about school work & follow the “that’ll do” as pp said.

HOD is very supportive too. I’m intending to get to work early (DH does nursery drop off) and stay until 4:30 but will have to really use my time wisely in school. Hoping to talk to some other ftm at school (there were lots of us pregnant over lockdown..) for support (and a whinge). I’m looking forward to being more than just mum when I go back but desperately hope I keep it together the first few weeks I’m sure will be tough.

thank you all again

After my first I went back full-time. I went part-time with my second for a few years.

I had a cleaner once a week. That makes such a difference. Wrap around childcare. Long days monday to friday. Family focused weekends and holidays. Be VERY protective of your time.

Yes, get a cleaner if you don't already have one! Even once a fortnight makes such a difference.

I have two DDs, 3.9yo and 12mo, and am a full time primary teacher luckily working in a school in the next village to mine. MIL has them four days a week, doing preschool pick up and drop off for the eldest and having the youngest all day. She works on a Wednesday, so on that day they go to a 7.30-5pm nursery in another village.

Do as much work as you can in school. I don’t know how it works in secondary, but I get in at 7.30 so I can get everything prepped for the day, then mark at break and through lunch and do admin/classroom tasks/meetings after school. I then leave at 4.30pm, collect the children and don’t start work again until 7pm when they’re in bed. I work 7-10pm 4/5 nights a week but never work weekends unless it’s report season, in which case I go to a cafe for a couple of days to bash them out and DH has the children. Evenings are for planning, resourcing, slides etc. PPA is for subject leader stuff - I’m on UPS in a OFE so have lots of extra responsibilities.

DH does all cooking, food shopping and house maintenance. He works FT 7.30-4, so gets the dinner started when he gets home and while I put the children to bed. They’ve eaten at MILs/nursery. We then eat and he clears up while I work. I normally put a load of washing on every morning and put it in the dryer in the evening. Everything goes in the dishwasher. DH deals with packed lunches for preschool and himself, I get cheap school lunches to eat while I mark. Proper clean done at the weekend.

Re the non sleeper, all I can say is it’s a game of survival. DD1 was bad but in a twice a night kind of way until she was 18mo and stopped napping. DD2 is going for a world record in non sleeping and some days last term I was teaching on <3 hours sleep. DH does what he can but the youngest is superglued to me and just shrieks MUMMEEEEEEED if he goes near her at night. She’s currently on 4-9 wakes per night. I mainline caffeine to keep me on the ball enough to function un the week, then collapse and DH runs things at the weekend. Weirdly my performance at school hasn’t been affected, but life admin does suffer, e.g. forgetting MOTs. However, I know from experience that this is a short term thing and by the time she’s DD1’s age we’ll be able to deploy the Gro Clock and a stairgate on her door.

Safly I think career progression can still be affected by children. I’ve turned down encouragement to apply for the deputy role twice in the last three years due to not wanting to give up more of my time to work. Hopefully the opportunities will still be there when the children are older. And, as I always tell myself, I’m trying to set the girls a good example by having my own career and money!

Best of luck OP; teaching can be both a wonderfully family friendly and terribly family unfriendly profession, but it’s doable.

My husband is a secondary school teacher (and I work full-time too). He leaves too early to drop the kids at childcare so I do that. He leaves school at 4 or 4:30 to pick them up though and does all the cooking - mostly quick and easy meals in the week. He works after they're in bed and a little bit at the weekend. He cleans Saturday mornings whilst I take the baby swimming. I try to do all the laundry and I do all the planning, arranging, remembering stuff and finances. We share being off with ill kids but take account of what's going on at work when deciding. I used to do all days off when we had one but it wasn't fair and a lot if his colleagues have young kids so it's not unusual to be off with an ill kid. It is busy but was manageable when we had just 1 kid. Now we have 2 I'm trying to go part-time. He loves his holidays off with the kids (except the Summer he was potty training the oldest!).

I have 3 children and am a full time secondary teacher. I was a head of faculty when I had DC 1 - I am now a bog standard teacher with no TLR.

i don’t leave my classroom! I get in for 8am, aim to leave by 4 on the 3 nights with no meetings etc. If I’m not on duty then I work - I mark at break, I mark at lunch. It’s all about efficient communication (my boss also has young children - we work in a similar way!) and that’s not to say I don’t chat, but I don’t waste time either. I reckon that 4 nights a week I work when they’re in bed. But I also know that I can get a full set of books marked when I’m at the swimming pool for swimming lessons etc.

its fine. Hard, but fine.

Thank you again so much.

Im not interested in progressing my career any further and even thinking of dropping my TLR if it becomes too much (but I think it will be manageable).

Thank you for all the suggestions. I’ve read each one and I’m glad they’re all fairly similar - do as much as possible in school time & be savvy & time efficient.

Thank you so much again - the responses have meant a lot to me.

You will be grand. Ultimately I’ve realised that, sometimes, good enough os good enough and I’ve grown to realise when to stop (at home and at school!).

I would be lying if I said i didn’t miss my head of faculty role a bit - I enjoyed it - but my children are now 9, 7 and 5 and I reckon that in 3 or so years life will look very different and I will think about what to do when that time comes!

Agree with the people saying to drop the perfectionism and to use all of the time when you’re at school wisely. Definitely recommend getting a cleaner! I found it really hard to go back but have managed ok. Use the support of your fellow FTMs at school, you’re all in the same boat. Best of luck 😊