Pressure after school activities

[mariposa23]

Hi everyone,
my daughter is doing gymnastics & over the last year is has gone from 3 afternoon 4-6 to 6 evenings 6-9.
my daughter loves it but I feel so pressured by the club and other mums that she doesn’t miss a second or she wont be doing “as well” she’s been training over summer & although she does well in competitions I find myself obsessing over her not falling behind her piers as the mum seen to have them there 24/7 & im just not sure what to do for myself or my daughter. Thanks

Follow your daughter's lead. If she's happy to go that much then great, if she wants to miss a session/reduce her training schedule then do that.

Ignore what other people do with their children, they're on a different journey, looking where they're going isn't going to help you get to your destination.

It depends what your daughter wants out of it. If she wants to compete and is willing to put in the hours then it is what it is. If she just wants to have fun, be with friends etc then move her to a different squad/club.

My son is a swimmer which is similar in terms of the amount of hours of training required to be competitive. Not all kids want to make the sacrifices to be competitive and thats fine but some do and its good there is training available for them.

It just depends what your daughter wants and what you can commit to financially and time wise.

Gymnastics is hardcore for training. And yes she will fall behind her peers if she isnt attending. But that is the case with all competitive sport. The commitment of training is always there.

what does your dd want out of it? Does she enjoy it?

We got stuck on the competitive hamster wheel for dance and then for swimming. When she quit dance she had found that although she was friendly with the other girls it could be very cliquey and I found that the other mothers could be quite unpleasant we also couldn't make every single training session as DD was at her dad's. She was fairly happy at swimming but found the sport itself quite isolating as her head was in the pool 1.5 hrs 5 nights a week and you didn't really get to know the other people apart from at galas.

After the covid lockdowns and having that more chilled time DD decided that she didn't want to compete anymore and wanted to do recreational sports instead.

She now does tennis on Saturday and girls rugby on a Tuesday with matches on a Sunday in season. She enjoys rugby alot particularly as everyone is very supportive and it's a team sport instead of everyone competing against each other as it was for dance and swimming.

She also does a different sport/club everyday afterschool at school so she gets plenty of extracurricular.

The problem with dance and gymnastic type activities is that participants have to go all the time to maintain strength and flexibility, although recreation groups exist they will. Never be able to reach the levels of those who attend everyday of the week.

Talk to your DD, ask her what she would like to do and be flexible on trying new sports she's not done yet. At the time it feels like you've ploughed all your time and money into one sport that it's hard to let go especially if your social life is also part of the sport but all sports carry transferable skills, DDs footwork in Rugby is really good as she has a dance background etc.
If she like gymnastics but doesn't want to dedicate the time / or you can't then look for a more recreational version instead.

Thanks everyone DD loves going & she enjoys competing but 6 days is too much for her BUT of course doing less days then she can’t train with the her friends Because she’s behind them 🙈.

How old is she?

I'd take it one fee period at a time. It sounds exhausting but it has to be her choice.

When you say 6 days is too much for her in what way? And how old is she? we get lots of nutritional advice and advice about getting good quality sleep etc in our swim club that means the kids are able to cope with training both before and after school. If you fuel and recover correctly it should be manageable but obviously all kids are different and some do just find it too much and there is not a lot you can do about that.