Is it meant to be this hard?

[tonguetietired]

my little one is 3 weeks old. On average he feeds for 7 hours every day and will scream if not given the breast quick enough.

I am so tired. He has a severe tongue tie which I am still waiting for the referral for and I don’t know if this is a reason why he feeds so much?

I know cluster feeding is a thing but this has been every day since he was born. Tonight for example he’s been on my boobs since 8pm non stop and is showing no sign of wanting to stop and sleep. He will probably finish about 2am and the wake up at 4am, 6am and 8am to feed again.
he feeds for about 40 mins each time and then non stop in the evenings.

he does about 4 poos a day and plenty of wet nappies and has put on weight - he didn’t even drop weight on the 5 day check! What is going on with this?! If this is breastfeeding then I can see why many mums use formula. It’s so lonely and hard. Especially at night when I am crying wanting to sleep.

It feels like this will last forever. Is this normal?

Aww love, yes it's normal. It's also incredibly hard when all you want to do is sleep! Sleep deprivation makes every little thing so much bigger and more difficult.

Your little one is still so little and all their needs can only be met by you right now. They need and want mum.

But I promise it won't last forever.

In the meantime, try and sleep when you can. Try and get as much help from others as you can. And keep pushing and chasing that referral.

It will get better

Ah it's tough, you're right in the middle of the really bloody difficult part when it comes to breastfeeding. Another couple of weeks and it could well be a completely different story for both of you, just hang in there.

Chase up the TT referral though, that definitely won't be helping!

Congratulations on your baby, and you're allowed to think it's shit. It really is sometimes. The good moments will get you through the shit ones until they start to outweigh them.

You can actually let him scream.
Maybe if he has feed for a bit, give him a bath or a baby massage instead, or walk him outside in the garden.
Sometime you just need to break the link between boobs and crying.

Normal, yes. Easy, no way!

Do chase up the tongue tie - hopefully that will help him feed better!! It's reassuring that he's gaining weight, so he IS getting enough milk

Mine was pretty much glued to me for 3 months. I think it gets easier around 6 weeks, then again at 3 months. Hang in there!

Thank you for the replies ❤️ Last night was definitely really hard mentally!
I just feel like I need a break sometimes but I love the bond we have from breastfeeding and I love looking down and seeing him all sleepy and getting full, I just feel so tired and sometimes it feels like it will never pass.

I will definitely chase the TT referral though, I hope it makes a difference when it’s snipped.

My friend had a baby with tongue tie and once snipped he was a totally different baby. Chase it up for sure. The NHS are shit at the moment. You can also get it done privately.. I know another person who did this as her wait was 6 weeks. Think it cost like £100. Not ideal but if the wait is ridiculous maybe an option...

Hang in there... I have a beautiful 10 week old and it definitely gets better. Few weeks with growth spurts etc in between felt like it was getting worse but remember every phase is only temporary

Like everything with babies it all gets better in time xx

Also the BF journey is like:

BEYOND HARD - hard hard hard hard hard - really quite hard but think I’m getting the hang of it maybe just bearable another week - really okay now - omg so so easy and delightful.

I honestly look back and wish I had just succumbed to the lying around watching Netflix and being used like a human milk machine. I come from a family of formula loving get up and out types, which is great, but I didn’t really have any experience for how exhausting it is and I wish id just chilled out more.

Have you tried a dummy? Some babies really need to suck for comfort and if he takes it then it’ll give your boobs an occasional break!

My eldest was like this but without the tongue tie- fed for hours and hours- but it does get easier and I mix fed after 6 weeks- still bf until 10 months.
My advice if you want to continue is stop trying to do anything else but rest and feed- choose a box set and try and enjoy the doing fuck all with a newborn because it goes by in a heartbeat.

My friend paid for a private tongue tie snip, she said it was the best £80 she has ever spent!

"He has a severe tongue tie which I am still waiting for the referral for and I don’t know if this is a reason why he feeds so much?

I know cluster feeding is a thing but this has been every day since he was born. Tonight for example he’s been on my boobs since 8pm non stop and is showing no sign of wanting to stop and sleep. He will probably finish about 2am and the wake up at 4am, 6am and 8am to feed again.
he feeds for about 40 mins each time and then non stop in the evenings."

This will improve dramatically once his tongue tie is corrected. Surviving on so little sleep for 7 weeks is brutal. Please contact the infant feeding team and ask for an urgent referral, you really need this sorting.

Severe tongue tie will almost definitely be why. If you can afford it I'd go private.

Thanks so much everyone 💕 it’s made me feel so much better knowing that it’s normal and that once the tongue tie is done it should improve.

I feel in a much more positive place tonight.