Baby inconsolable this evening

[Tiredmama789]

This is probably a stupid question so apologies in advance - I’m a first time mum.
I’ve always put our baby to bed in the bedtime routine, my partner has done it tonight as I am away for a wedding which is my friends and we both couldn’t go as babies not allowed:

DP messaged me saying DC was so distressed and crying constantly and hasn’t done that for a long time.
is it because I’m not there? I’m feeling guilty now.

Has your DP ever done bedtime prior to you being away? If not then yes it's probably because he's not used to anyone else putting him to bed.

You being away could be the reason yes. Unless baby was overtired, hungry, gassy etc.
Please don’t feel guilty tho! You deserve a night off and I hope you have a lovely time at your friends wedding. Your baby is in safe hands and will be okay so enjoy yourself.
Maybe now is a good time for your partner to start doing bedtime routine with baby more often, so that they are used to it and then you can go out more without worrying they are upset.

How thoughtful of your partner to message you this

I’d wonder if he was trying to make you guilty tbh

I think the solution is, that he puts his child to bed more often so they get used to him

Oh gosh, I had this with my daughter from birth to 10 months. It’s bcos you have mostly done bed time and baby has noticed.

I’m afraid there’s nothing to be done now - enjoy yourself and your partner will just have to
try every trick they can. Singing lullabies, rocking, etc.

we had this and we just made sure my partner did more bed time with her and she has gotten used to it.

she will fall asleep eventually..

Why would he do that, you can't change the outcome, he just wants to ruin your night.

One of mine would never settle without me, dh just used to change the routine and stay up watching films.

Turn your phone off and have a break. He would.

Ignore the other unhelpful posters. To your question , Your baby is most likely crying bcos if you not being there but of course your partner should stay vigilant to any other issues like gas reflux etc. but likely of not having you there.

i would tell myself, baby is safe, dry fed and loved so it’s all ok. Your poor partner will take the brunt of it more than baby- definitely get partner to do more bed time with baby in future.

Your partner’s helpful isn’t he.

It could be all sorts of reasons and the fact your partner doesn’t usually do bedtime may be part of it. However your baby is and will be fine.

It's very unkind of him to tell you.

He needs to be doing bedtime more. Why do you always do it? Start taking it in turns, or at least he does it at the weekend if he's not home in time in the week.

Why are they unhelpful?

For pointing out that OP’s partner is being pathetic and unkind

My DD would often cry when her dad put her to bed when she was little. The reality is she is (hopefully) being well cared for, cuddled, reassured and her care needs are being met. This is very different to a baby screaming/crying and being left alone. Your baby will be fine. Message your partner, say your battery is low, wish them luck for tonight and switch your phone off.

maybe just maybe her husband isn't a complete arse and is just letting her know what is going on with their child, what if their kid is ill (probably not op probably just cranky or something) wouldn't it be better to tell her if her child is acting weird or different

Baby probably associates you with the routine. My son won't sleep if husband puts him to bed either. I think they grow out of it? Eventually!