Baby not bearing weight & other delays

[Ivfgottahope]

I’ve got an appointment with a paediatrician in a fortnight despite my GP and HV not being concerned, but I was wondering if anyone experienced similar so I can try and put that awful gnawing feeling at bay for the time being!

My 8.5 mo DD still can’t bear weight on her legs - if I try she just bounces on her toes as though she’s in a jumperoo (we don’t have one). Most LOs I see her age are near enough upright and taking assisted steps! She also can’t pull to standing (or even tries) or crawl but I appreciate it may be a little early for either. She only started babbling from 7.5 months. She’s always been noisy though and her fine motor is advanced, she’s also really observant.

She seemed to be on time for everything up to 6 months but since then I feel she’s fallen massively behind. The HV seems to think as long as she attempts to move and is alert there’s no cause for concern.

Im just a bit worried, I heard babies either excel at movement or speech and she doesn’t seem to do either! There’s also no waving clapping or pointing. She is a big baby (91st percentile!)

anyone have similar and everything turn out ok?

@AnyFucker thanks for your advice but it’s private.

Thanks for your (mainly) kind and reassuring messages everyone… there are anxieties for sure resulting from a horrific pregnancy (ivf baby, miscarried her twin, almost lost her, she barely moved throughout and I was told to be aware of the possibility of issues) so I’m possibly looking for problems that don’t exist. She’s my first child and I’ve not been around many children so unfortunately I only have the internet as guidance really. It also doesn’t help that at baby groups everyone talks up having somewhat unicorn babies, advanced in every way, so it’s hard not to compare. Glad I posted, it certainly helped. I’m already in the process of arranging CBT to work on me too so I can enjoy her more 😊

@Ivfgottahope bless you, with first babies you're always on edge 😊 they all grow at their own pace. I kept telling everyone that I didn't walk until I was 18 months. when they commented on my first walking so early or my last only cruising at 11 months I always said once they walk before I did that's a win 😂 enjoy your baby!

Recommend milestones and motherhood on Instagram

@purplejungle really helpful - thank you

I've been there. With my first everyone else was telling me there was an issue because he wasn't crawling.

A friend of my MiL's even tried to 'treat' him for it when I wasn't there.

Spoiler alert - he's fine. He just took a while to move. He's 5 now and runs like a greyhound.

I expected DD to crawl later because her brother did. Though in her case I wonder if she just didn't see the point in moving lol

But she understood everything the HV was saying. At one point the HV asked if we had any other questions and DD looked her straight in the eye and shook her head lol

OMG that’s adorable.

My 9 month old isn't weight bearing either, she's crawling but nowhere near cruising or walking! I'm not worried, my 5yo didn't crawl until 11 months and walked at 16 months. I wasted so much time worrying about it with him and he got there in the end! I know it's easier said than done but try not to compare.

My DD was like this she was a Big Baby as well . She completely refused to ever put her feet down until she was well over one. She didn’t start to walk until 20 months but she got there.

@SecondhandTable thanks for your message, it really resonated. I’m acutely aware I’m the problem and I’m in the process of getting cbt. I met some friends and their littles (all a similar age to my dd) today and I left devastated because I felt she was legions behind again rather than enjoying a nice afternoon which is how it should be. I promised myself during the drive home enough is enough as being trapped in this head space is utterly horrific.

My daughter is same age as your dc and only the last week she's been trying to pull herself up - unsuccessfully and when I stand her up she can lean against the sofa - just - no attempt at assisted steps and there isn't a need to worry at all. She's my 3rd so I guess I've got all my worrying out of the way with ds1 + ds2 ages 8 and 6. Both mine cruised at 9 months but didnt walk until 15m, it was hard not to compare to my friends girl who walked alone at 9 months - was most surreal to see: but there's no reason to worry too much at this stage

No clapping, waving etc are not late at 8 months - 9-12 months is average - some earlier than others as with everything else. Don't worry others

Please don't worry, I had very similar - didn't crawl until 11 months, walked at 18 months. He was also very big - 95% - and tall - and I do think that plays a big part. He was heavy and needed a lot of core strength and had a higher centre of gravity. He's also a bit slow on words - only 5-6 but understands everything just VERY independent and won't be told why to do / mirror. They all go at a different pace.

Remember comparison is the thief of joy!

Way too soon to worry
For sure
Speak to hv
But nothing to be concerned here

I've just finished a course of CBT. I was referred for it when my eldest, who is now 4, was a baby, but that was prior to virtual appointments, and I couldn't go to the appointments because by the time I got to the top of the waiting list, I was back at work, and didn't have any extra childcare. I wish I could have had it then, it has been really helpful, and such a shame I didn't get it 3 years ago! I'd recommend it.

Honestly though, your baby's development sounds totally fine and not concerning at all. I had a friend over today with her two kids, her eldest is a similr age to my eldest and they're friends too, and her baby is 1 month younger than my baby. Her baby was crawling around, pulling himself up, cruising, and more vocal than my baby. My baby cannot crawl, can only just about pull himself up and so far only does it on one specific place, can't take steps yet, and is quieter. I can honestly say that we had a lovely few hours together and I didn't once worry or wish that my baby could do the things the other baby could. I love my DS, he's lovely, he has no developmental 'red flags', he's developing at his own pace, and by the time he's the age of my eldest, nobody will care how old he was when he learned to walk, or whether he crawled or not, or whatever. But it has taken two kids, late therapy, and many years to get like this. My advice is try and sort it now so you can enjoy your child and not waste a lot of their young years worrying.

Late to the game and hopefully your mind has been put at rest! My 11.5 month old daughter played the longest game of "floor is lava" initially. She wouldn't put her feet down at ALL. Then at 10 months she decided she was done with that and now stands herself up on me/furniture (just starting to let go of hands/furniture too!), cruises, walks with a walker and climbs like no tomorrow. As in... she climbs EVERYTHING. She just wasn't ready before, but I do remember the worry!
It's amazing how quickly they seem to do these things sometimes. In the same way as my little potato showed zero signs of crawling one day, the next she was busy learning all day, the day after that she was confidently zooming around.

There is a really great woman on Instagram who is a paediatric physio and she has incredible, simple ideas and advice around developing all physical milestones. Her handle is @milestones.and.motherhood. I really recommend you have a look! I think you'll find it reassuring and helpful!

My first didn't crawl til 11 months, walk til 21 months, jump til over the age of 3. She saw a physio through the HV just before she was walking but they had no concerns because she was making progress consistently, just behind the average.

She's 5 now and still struggles with other motor skills such as tricky climbing frames, getting dressed into anything that's not being loose - no change with buttons yet. She also can't balance well so can't ride a bike yet.

Just keep giving lots of opportunities for testing things out eg toys out of reach on a sofa so they want to try to pull themselves up and reach.

Good luck!