Should I have a second baby?

[Linzznowen]

Hi everyone, so we live in a 2 bed house that i own myself . I always wanted a second child but The smaller bedroom is currently for my baby ( 5 months) and my partner’s child (12 years.) We both would like another child however there is not enough room for another bed or cot to go in there. My partner wouldn’t be able to afford to put money towards moving to a bigger house so it would be down to me to finance moving. Currently i am able to be a stay at home mum until baby reaches school age, if we moved i would only be able to afford to have 1 year off work. Is it worth and starting again for a second baby.

Your baby would be in with you for 6 months anyway.
Would you both be able to save and move way in the next year or two?

Also, if you move, you'd have to go back to work.
What about childcare, would you have to pay for 2? Would family do it?

If you have the chance of being at home until school age, personally I would wait and save as much as you can.

Only you can decide which is your priority. And only you know if it would stretch you too much amd decide if you are willing to finance it solely without your partners help.

Either is a perfectly viable choice, and thats really what its down to, your choice.

If you feel a real need to have baby no 2, then a year off is still a nice amount of time off to have.

Could DH take some time off so he can stay at home for a bit if he wanted after your year off ??

It sounds like you're struggling with space for the children you already have to be honest. In any case 5 months is still really young to be planning another baby, I'd give it another year before thinking about more children anyway.

We have to make sacrifices for the things that we want - you can't expect to be a STAHM and finance having another child. So you either go back to work and have another child or stay home and come to terms with just having the one

If your partners child is 12 they will be heading into their teens by the time another child comes along in which case overnights may be less of an issue - how many nights do they stay?

Unless you move I think it’s a bad choice. In a couple of years the 12 year old will be a teen and will be studying for exams and will need a space to study and some general privacy.

Hi Op, you already struggle with space. 5 people in a 2 bedroom flat is far too cosy, specially with a teenager.

Hi thanks for your response, he stays 3-4 nights per week as an average, sometimes more in the holidays.

Hi, i think i would be able to save a bit not sure about my partner, i think with child care it would be nursery half the week and family members for the other half. The cost of childcare wouldn’t be a problem i don’t this . It would probably be the repayment of buying a new house that i might struggle with.

With that age gap the 12 year old will need their own room soon, if not now to be honest. I don't think it's fair to expect a teenager to share with a baby. I would get your finances sorted and move first, then think about having another baby. It would be rather irresponsible to get pregnant unless you know you've got somewhere for them all to live!

Hi, my partner doesn’t think he will be able to save much , so the money for next house will mostly come from the sale of my current house.

Given how often he stays it's not really appropriate for him to share as it much longer

What was your partners take on this before you got together and before you had a Child? What was the plan?

Hi
i agree the age gap is quite big and they do need a room each , however i don’t think its fair to have pay for it all myself and my partner not to contribute to a new property as one of the rooms would be for his child. But he just hasn’t got the money.

I'm not sure what you're wanting - people online can't make your partner earn more money and you had your first baby with him whilst knowing his financial situation presumably?! No one is going to say it's a good idea to have another baby in your current situation, if that's what you're looking for?

I've seen all the other answers .. if you don't go for it I think you would regret it
Xx

How old are you OP? If you are quite young you could always wait a while before adding to your family, by which time your partner's finances may be a bit better. The downside of that is that your step child will continue to have to share a room which is not ideal given the age gap. If you are an older mum and you would be risking not being able to have another if you decided to wait, personally I would go back to work after a year and work to fund a home that could house all my family.

Are you paying in to a pension for the years you plan to not be in employment?
Five people in to two bedrooms does not work.

Your boyfriend is incapable of housing his two kids already, for whose benefit would a third kid be?

Hi, my partner is 33 , i am 23 so time is on my side, i think we would wait a few years , i am considering a loft convention to make extra space instead of moving.

Hi, 12 year old was only was only going yo stay 1-2 nights a week so i brought a sofa bed for the first few months while we got stuff sorted . I explained i would get him a proper bed soon but it would be in the same room as the baby . My partner and his child was both ok with this. Also me and my partner had talked about a baby so it was planned.

I know of a family of 5 who lived in a 2 bedroomed flat. They found it really hard, and it definitely affected the mental health of at least 2 of them.