13 year old boy weight issues

[Mum3boyz]

can you help? My son is 13 and just about to start year 9. He has put on a lot of weight in the last year and I am worried about it. I think he is over eating and his lifestyle is quite sedentary but I’m concerned about saying anything that might shame him. And perhaps it’s just a phase? His older brother is 16 and plays football and is very thin. Same for his younger brother. Is it just puberty? I know he worries about it because I’ve seen his you tube searches where he left it logged in on the tv - how to lose weight etc. but I haven’t seen any signs of him exercising more. All summer I have been working but every day I suggest he comes with me on a walk and he says no thanks. I do cook healthy meals but often he will say afterwards he’s still hungry and eat another plateful. He also buys junk food and stuffs the wrappers down the side of his bed. Is this just a growing boy? I don’t mind how he looks but I don’t want him to be unhappy and I’ve noticed how he holds his hands over his tummy and wears huge hoodies in 35 degree heat. Any advice?

Eating a second plateful and hiding junk food wrappers isn’t just a normal boy style of eating. Do you ever say ‘no, you’ve had enough’? Or offer an apple instead if he’s still hungry? If he says no to the apple then he isn’t actually hungry.

There is a big difference between actually feeling hungry and having an appetite. He is effectively training himself to eat more. Try filling him up with extra fibre and lean protein.

www.healthline.com/nutrition/fiber-and-belly-fat

Hunger is physiological. It occurs because of biological changes throughout the body, which signal that you need to eat to maintain energy levels. Appetite is simply the desire to eat. It can be a result of hunger, but often has other causes, such as emotional or environmental conditions

Thank you Hesaliability. I never say you’ve had enough. My older son has always eaten loads and stayed thin so I’ve never really thought about limiting their food. It is going to be a big parenting change for me to do this.
Thank you so much for your advice.
my other two are so thin that if they eat more I would never suggest they don’t. How do I not single out my middle child?

I think the ‘bowls on the table, choose your own portion size ‘ approach works fine for some people but not all. It’s inevitably going to lead to eating more than you would if just ‘a portion’ was served and while your oldest and youngest might have the metabolism to deal with it, your middle son might not. It’s quite an eye opener to look at the amounts that are considered a normal portion.

We switched to serving up plated meals, no seconds, when my oldest suddenly started gaining weight at about 12 yrs. Three years on he has sprouted upwards and all the excess weight has gone. We are sticking to plated meals as his brother, now 12, has just started gaining weight!

i tend to cook just enough food for one portion each now. If I’ve made more then I put it away for future meals rather than offering it up as seconds. If people are genuinely still hungry there’s fruit and yoghurt (we’re don’t do any other pudding).

Thanks @Chocchops72. That's good advice and I will start just cooking enough for one meal. Also I have made sure only healthy snacks are available. DH and I are going to work on increasing DS's activity by doing something with him each day like swimming, long walk etc. I read an article that said it's not a good idea to talk about your teens weight with them unless they bring it up first.

I’ve noticed my 13 year old son gaining weight recently and being more lethargic whereas last summer it was going on the trampoline each night. Even he’s said he needs to get fit. I keep telling my oh to stop buying so much chocolate but he grew up underweight as a child. I have started taking him to the gym, playing badminton and tennis so I will start that again after the holidays. Don’t think it helps eating a lot more junk food over the holidays. Generally he does eat healthy meals that are sw friendly and I don’t keep many snacks at home.

@stridesy I am trying to help him be more active too. Does he go on the equipment at the gym? Did someone show him how to use it?

@stridesy sorry - I should be more clear I was asking how your DS gets on at the gym! Thank you!!!

We did an induction where he was shown the equipment which was slightly embarrassing as my son has autism so came out with a few comments! He was shown two weight machines but advised to keep to cardio. He does enjoy it but is also very unfit. He makes me look fit! I do need to get him going a bit more.
I did also do a bit of the couch to 5k with him as well as an inflatable fun run. Wall climbing and trampolining is another go to as well as inflatable swimming.

@stridesy thanks for the advice. I will encourage him to do more sports with me!

People need to get their kids off the consoles and get them involved in sports.My sons 10 and plays for 2 football teams ,trains 3 times a week and 2 games at the weekend.He loves his food but is built like the side of a fiver.Limit the the time they spend on consoles and dont allow them to eat junk when they want 🙄I know its possible for kids to gain weight due to a medical issue but most of the time its down to lazy parenting imo.

My son is 17 now and was chunky and weighed a lot more than me at less than my height until about a year ago. He ate loads, including junk on top of healthy meals. He has finally had a growth spurt and has lost over 2 stone by basically deciding for himself to cut out a lot of the junk and is now very lean. He doesn't exercise much, but he can still do things like chin ups and squat his bodyweight without really trying. We never spoke to him about his weight or forced exercise, just got him to walk the dog sometimes and do things for fun like table tennis. Going through puberty makes a huge difference, it's easy for boys to lose weight while they're growing. Just wanted to reassure you that sometimes intervening is not necessary.

@LostaraYil thanks for this. I still haven't mentioned his weight to him - he's 14 now and still quite overweight. I have been trying to involve him in sport - he's been biking with his dad a bit and playing tennis with me. Its hard to prevent him from eating junk food as he's 14 and will buy what he wants when he's out. Im hoping that he will decide to make healthier choices as he gets older and in the meantime I give him healthy meals and try to keep him active. It's reassuring to hear your experience.