Sleep advice for 10 week old

[HiPosey]

Hi there,
my LO is currently sleeping 7-2 solidly with a dream feed at 10pm. But from 2:30-6 she is so restless that we barely get a chance to sleep again,
I was hoping that I could get some tips on how to get her to settle again for the last stretch of the night time or if I am being over ambitious?

thanks!

Bedtime at 7 is quite early at that age - the biggest/deepest stint is always first of the night.

DD is 9 weeks and she stays up with us, usually feeding and dozing on the boob on and off, until we go upstairs at 10pmish - she then sleeps till 4/5am, has a feed and goes back down for a couple of hours again. The second sleep stint is more restless than first but we cosleep so she seems to settle a lot more quickly when I'm beside her, so not sure what to suggest if presumably she's in cot.

That said, we are both very lucky to have that long a chunk of solid sleep with a newborn! So you might just have to shift your sleeping pattern around to make the most of hers for the time being and go to bed early!

Yes agree with PP. they shouldn’t go to bed that early - their deepest sleep is when they first fall asleep. they should really go to bed with you at that age. Do bedtime then. Nappy change and new clothes change (even if she doesn’t need it,good routine to get in). Rather than making 10pm the dream feed, make it the feed that puts her to sleep. 7pm, 10pm 3am feeds are quite typical at this age. 3am feed will drop first, then start making 10pm bed time earlier and that feed will eventually go, then bedtime will naturally push to 7pm. Enjoy 💕

Oh no okay. i have bath and massages from 6 and have been doing that since she was tiny. Just worried a new routine suddenly will upset her now she’s used to going to sleep on her own for that first part of the night. She was always so agitated being up with us downstairs and never settled so we assumed she was ready for bedtime after bath etc.
I wish there was more guidance for first time mums. I just knew that everyone wants bedtime at 7, so just did that. How irritating.

Presumably you are upstairs in the bedroom from then with her anyway so maybe just get some very early nights for the time being! Sleep often changes at around four months anyway and it could all go out of the window!

She’s still very young to be getting used to a routine, so any routine you are doing is really for your benefit. 7pm is more a bedtime for when they’re sleeping through the night more, say from 6 months. At 10 weeks, a 7pm bedtime doesn’t mean much to them because they’re waking up more often. If you want to start with a routine, do her bath and massage around 10pm, then put her down at 10pm.

she won’t be able to stay asleep / settled from 7-7 at this young age.

also make sure that when she does sleep, you are with her. Either in your bedroom or in the living room. If you aren’t already doing this try and make sure she knows the difference between night and day. Daytime sleep in a living space, curtains open tv on. Nighttime sleep in a quiet dark room x

and as PP says - At 4 months things will change, so be prepared x

Just an update, I kept her up with us till 10 and did bath at 9:30, and it made no difference, she was awake and unsettled again from 2:30.
so she didn’t even have her stretch of 7 hours like she was doing when sleeping 7-2!

Is she cold? Temperature starts to dip from midnight onwards, reaching coldest point around 4? Our baby was going to bed between 7/8 from about 10 weeks so I don't think it's necessarily a terrible idea - she got very cranky if we didn't settle her around then! She would usually be up for the day around 6am and fed 3 ish times during the night. Sleep is so variable for the first 6 months, if not longer. Try to just follow her lead and sleep when you can, and keep feeding her! It will change again soon enough!

She feels fine but maybe she is. Our house has been quite hot recently and our rooms are 20-25 degrees Celsius across the night. So have her in a sleeved vest and 0:5 tog sleeping bag.
I think I’ll put her down earlier again and just hopefully in time she will extend it and I’ll just go to bed earlier. Just finding it hard to function now when my sleep ends at 2.

@HiPosey it will pass. My LO was always a great sleeper too from a very young age but she went through a phase of waking at around 4am every day and I could never get back to sleep afterwards. Presumably you're still off work on maternity leave so you kind of just have to go with the flow for a little while. I think the best thing to do is stick to your routine and she will get used to it. She's still really young but you're doing great to have a fab little sleeper. If it was me I'd be going to bed around 9pm so the 2am wake up wasn't too painful! A feed, winding and plenty of cuddles when she wakes up so she feels safe and secure. You're doing a great job 😊

Ten weeks is nothing, stop expecting a perfect routine and lots of sleep…unfortunately being tired and broken sleep comes with a new baby.

Thank you for your help x

I’m not.. I’m not sure why you’re having a to at me? I’m a first time mum who is clearly struggling and not just with sleep - so perhaps be kinder with how you write things. I’m doing the best I can and it’s not been easy.
have a nice day!

I don't think we started a proper bedtime routine until mine were four months? Possibly older? It's all pretty normal what your baby is doing. There's no harm in doing things like a massage and bath as she will know these are cues for going to sleep. But there's probably the four month regression coming up and that normally throws things out of the window anyway. If I was you, I think I'd keep going with what you've been doing and just be prepared for the second part of the night to not be great. If you're tired, I'd go to bed when she does and get dad to do the dream feed and then at least you're getting a good chunk of sleep.
My eldest was still having a feed in the night until she was one but my youngest dropped it at five months. I've found you just have to go with them. Good luck and congratulations on the baby

OP, with my second (who is now 16 weeks old) I did what you have and set a routine early doors. We bathe around 6pm (my oldest too so it's not a quick routine) and do massage and bedtime feed is between 6:30-7pm. She usually goes down then (sometimes takes other boob) and will sleep her deepest sleep. That had been taking her to around 11pm and then around 3pm however we're in a lovely regression at the moment (!) and then she'd sleep less deeply till around 6am when my house naturally wakes anyway. I have stuck with my routine so that I have 7-8pm (ish) with my older daughter and then have an earlier night myself to accommodate less settled sleep (potentially) from 3am.

I guess what I'm saying is, whilst I can see lots of PP go for a later bedtime, ive not done this and before regression started was reaping rewards of a 7pm bedtime of time with my older
DC, around 45 minutes to myself and then an earlier bedtime for me so I wasn't too tired.

Lastly, I also still often (less so during the school hols as other dc is home) try and nap with her once a day which helps with the overnight restless!

It might be worth trying her in something warmer - perhaps put a cardigan over the top when she wakes and see? Our daughter wears a vest and 0.5 tog bag and she is 1, and room temp is probably similar, so she might be a bit chilly? The temperature thing is really hard - I still struggle with it! But they don't settle well if they're cold and the constant stirring might be due to that. Ignore the unhelpful posts, you're doing brilliantly and it is so very hard. Particularly when your day starts at 2am! Huge hugs x

Thank you for your help. Im very lucky I get the 7-2 stretch I must admit. Would just be nicer to see maybe 4/5am when I wake up instead of 2. But I know that’s just being picky haha.

At that age I just went with the flow of what the baby wanted. I let him sleep whenever he chose to and just dealt with the utter exhaustion. It was awful (for me) but it does pass. He would only sleep on me, and I remember watching Netflix in bed terrified to fall asleep with him on my chest. Thankfully my husband would take him each evening for a few hours when he got home from work as that was my only chance to sleep.

Every baby is different , and they change all the time in the first year/2 years. Just as you think you’ve got a hang of one sleep pattern it’ll change again as they go through development and growth. Are you breast or formula feeding? Keeping baby in the bed with you (following safe bedsharing guidance) is often a good way to both get more sleep as they settle more near you, but it’s not fail safe. A 7-2 stretch at 10 weeks is pretty good, is she awake after that or just restless?

@HiPosey continue with a 10pm
bedtime (10pm feed then put her down). She will wake 2/3am - feed her then, that will see her through til early morning (but can be hard to settle them). Keep at it. 10pm/3am feed is a good routine to get in. Above all, don’t worry - she’s 10 weeks

@BuffaloCauliflower Thank you, we are formula feeding, but she’s not always taking a whole bottle and still on 4oz as she rarely finishes no matter what we try to keep her going. She’s often restless and will do bursts of 15/30 min sleep then awake again. I was hoping to shift the long stint she does to allow us all a more settle night. So going to try to do the bedtime from 10pm.

@Yabbadubba thank you, yes going to try again with 10pm tonight but was surprised that she was still so awake and restless from 2am. We wind her for a while after but she doesn’t take much of that bottle, perhaps only or just a little more than 2oz, so confused why she’s waking and being so unsettled with falling back asleep.

OP, rather than making such a big change in her bedtime, maybe try putting it back by 15 mins a night? It's a gentler approach and might work.
Or as a PP suggested, hand her over to your partner / other person if there's someone around and grab a nap yourself?

@HiPosey its worth bearing in mind that a 10 week old currently isn’t physically able to know day from night, the hormonal changes and beginnings of a circadian rhythm to allow this don’t kick in until 12-14 weeks.