Ending breastfeeding - how to get them to sleep?

[GiveMeMyBoobsBack]

DS is now 26 months and I think I’m ready (maybe) to finish breastfeeding. We’ve already dropped daytime feeds, but I’m not sure how to drop the night feeds.

He has always been a terrible sleeper - has never slept through. At the moment we have cuddles in his bed, and he will feed (and climb, fiddle, mess about etc) until he falls asleep. Then he can sleep on his own for a few hours, but typically wakes about 1am, has a quick cuddle and feed, then back to sleep until morning. He likes a big feed in the morning before we get out of bed.

I can avoid the morning feed as long as I get up and take him downstairs as soon as he wakes, but the initial getting to sleep and the middle of the night ones are more tricky.

Any suggestions / experience?

At the moment bedtime takes ages as I’m in his bed with him until he falls asleep. I could really do with a couple of child free hours in the evening to get things done but by the time I get him settled I’m usually ready to sleep myself, and so the jobs list just keeps growing.

No option for anyone else to do bedtime either so I’ll have to figure it out on my own.

Can you get him to bond with a Teddy bear?
Also, maybe something nice like a projector or music?
Tell him you're going to do a few jobs but you'll be close by, talk to him as you're walking away..
Introduce new habits slowly but be consistent..

I offered my eldest an Ella’s kitchen stew pouch before bed and as they are his favourite he filled up on that instead so the feed was very brief. I also offered another one in the middle of the night to fill him up so the feed was short. The middle of the night feed was dropped because he was fuller for longer with the pouch at bedtime.
The bedtime feed was next to go, I only fed him if cuddling didn’t work. Got the feeds down to one every two or three nights and I told him the boobies were broken and needed a rest to mend. He was a bit put out, even more so a few months later when I was feeding his new sibling but we did manage to stop without tears. His sibling has just turned two and is still feeding.

I started by cuddling to sleep. She protested a bit but I just kept reminding her it was all gone and I will give her a cuddle. Worked in the end!

Thanks @Rowen32 he’s not really bothered about teddy bears etc, he’ll give them a quick cuddle during play time but has never had a favourite or been interested in taking one to bed. I like the projector idea though, and the music. Will try adding those into his routine.

Thanks @Orangesare, he’s a bit of a pain with food unfortunately. He doesn’t eat much generally, and even less so if he’s tired. I’m hoping his appetite for real food will improve once he’s off the breast milk though.

Have you ever tried?

Just asking because I stopped feeding over night when DD was about 15/16 months old and she didn't even cry to my surprise. Literally stopped offering as a quick way to get her to sleep and she settled well.

Recently I dropped the bedtime feed too. We just do story & cuddles and I will lay with her or hold her hand until she falls asleep with white noise. I give her a cup of water to have with her in bed that she will have sips on while reading.

Maybe if you give it a go it will go better than you think!

Honestly @Tee20x , no, not really. I think I’ve been nervous to try in case he spends all night screaming and keeps the rest of the household awake. Think I need to grit my teeth and give it a go.

Do you have a partner OP? Ask them to take over bedtime and night settling. DS2 was only finally weaned when I went away on a work trip and left them to it!

So sorry OP. Just caught the late line of your post!

New routines! Does DS feed to sleep? I would move the feed earlier in the bedtime routine (bath, book, song etc). And then try to skip it when he’s not associating it with sleep. Tbh, once I moved it and loosely went along the don’t offer don’t refuse weaning method he dropped it fairly quickly. In fact he dropped it before he dropped his afternoon feed.

As for night weaning I cut the feed down over a few weeks. So if he has a 15 minute feed at the beginning then the next night I’d offer 12 or 13.

I moved into the spare room for a few nights and let dh do getting to sleep and nighttime. It was much easier than I thought it would be, DD just accepted cuddles with Daddy.

Mine wasn’t that keen on food but he does love Ella’s kitchen beef stew. I know a dentist who weaned one off the breast with ice cream so you could use any food (cake crisps), it wasn’t difficult to stop the food habit

So tonight I’m attempting not to feed to sleep. Not going particularly well so far, there have been some tears and some shouting.

We have followed our usual routine except for the breastfeed in bed. DS is still awake and struggling to settle. I’ve had to put plasters on my nipples to stop him helping himself, I’ve explained that the milk is gone, he’s had an investigate and seems rather annoyed but I think he understands. We’re having cuddles instead.

I have offered cows milk on his cup but he refused.

Just need to hold my nerve now and be consistent. Fingers crossed he’s not too sad for too long.

Well done, it's so difficult! My 3 boys had a bit of a grumble on the first night, a much bigger "grumble" (!) on the second night, and then accepted it on the third night.

Side note: be on the lookout for mastitis. Your GP can prescribe something if your milk is being slow to dry up, or you can try peppermint tea and/or OTC antihistamines.

Also, once I stopped feeding to sleep, I switched to sitting beside the cot/bed rather than lying with them. I found a cot bed was perfect, because I could easily give them a big cuddle if they were very upset, but then sit back a bit when possible.

And then I basically did a gradual retreat, sitting a bit further away (with my kindle) every night, or quietly pottering in the room, folding laundry etc. Tbf I think spent quite a few nights lying right next to the bed, with the ipad hidden under it, watching something with subtitles 🤣🤣

He seems to be snoozing now but he’s lying on my tummy so I’ll have to be careful escaping.

Thanks @FallOutPloy , I hadn’t even considered that. I had mastitis when he was tiny and it was awful.

He’s already in a full size single as I used to end up in the cot with him. It’s a lot easier to get out of the bed than it is to climb out of the cot!