Has anyone forgotten how to socialise after having a baby?

[Pen89ox]

I had my baby almost 2.5 years ago, right at the start of Covid and we didn’t speak face to face with anyone for literally months as it was all so unknown back then and incredibly scary with a newborn.

I don’t know if it’s having a baby, or lockdown, or both, but I feel like I really struggle to socialise with people, I’m a friendly person but I’m quite shy naturally so really have to work to speak to people I don’t know, I’ve tried multiple times at toddler groups but it just never seems to go well. I’m back at work in the office now I find it hard to have a flowing conversation with people as I sort of run out of things to say.

Even my existing friends and family are so much more distant than they were, I barely speak to anyone now and I feel like I’m the common denominator but can’t work out why. I genuinely am I nice person and like to talk to people, maybe I just talk too much about my baby? Maybe I’m too tired to socialise properly? I just don’t know.

Didnt want to read and run but not sure I have much to offer but sympathy. I’m generally noticing that I’m grumpier in my old age (I joke - I’m early 30s). I don’t really want to talk to people I don’t know. And I’m pretty grumpy to those around me (I’ve got three small children who run rings round me and I’m exhausted constantly). But I’m not sure it’s the same as what you’re describing.

I can’t imagine talking about your toddler is a real issue. Unless you’re going into too much detail describing the type of cough she has or who her favourite octonaut is. General chat about 2.5 year olds isn’t likely to bother mums at toddler groups.

I feel confident that pandemic + becoming a parent is probably to blame. I guess socialising comes naturally for some people and not for others. And for the latter group, they’re going to need to relearn how to do it.

Sorry I can’t add any solutions!

I don't have much advice either but I resonate with most of what you're saying. I was never the best but since covid and baby(now toddler) I'm feeling really socially lacking with old friends family and with meeting new people but also not as interested at the same time. Wfh still too! I'm early 30s too

Resonates with me too. Mine are 4 and 2, and the combination of small kids, work and lockdowns have left me somewhat in a rut. I'm trying to drag myself out of it, and each time I do something or meet someone I haven't seen in a while I'm glad I've done so.

I do think that the reality is that small children and work don't leave a huge amount of time for socialising, or headspace for interesting conversation.

🙋yep!

I feel like after 2 years of Covid with little social life, moving to a new place and having my baby, I don’t have much in the way of conversation outside of what my baby is doing. I feel like my world has shrunk immensely - from an busy sporty, cultural, work and social life in London pre pandemic to something slow and small in a commuter town post pandemic and post baby.

I’ve been finding it hard to even leave the house lately (still on mat leave) but what @JenniferBarkley says is absolutely true, I feel better when I have and I just need to force myself out there.

It is HARD. I suppose it’s all about trying to find your people again - and reconnecting with old ones. I’m not there yet. Good luck everyone.

I feel like this right now, it happens in cycles for me, when i spend time away from people. I think we're out of practice! You say you don't speak to friends and family so much. The more you speak to people the easier it is, I find.

I have small children like the rest of you. That obviously inhibits social life a bit.