Absolutely done in!

[ElmtreeMama]

My DD is 9 months this week and I am absolutely done in, I feel like I passed exhausted and burnt out about a month ago.
I really wanted to try for another but now I'm sat here feeling like the most stupid incompetent person in the world to even consider it when I'm finding this so hard.
I'm struggling with some health conditions too so cant even go for a long walk or whatever
It's not even that she's doing anything bad or wrong it's just the relentlessness day and night and day.
No family or friends nearby to help, just want to vent as I'm desperately trying to get her to sleep whilst she fights it and I'm so tired. Also I think I thought it may be a bit easier by now but it's harder

Please ask you partner to pull his fair share by giving you a weekend off.

Thanks @PhatPaws I actually spoke to my DH yesterday and he absolutely does help a lot when off work but he agrees I maybe need a proper break for a night or a full day at least so we are organising that this weekend. Sometimes I think it just helps to vent as well

When do you go back to work? Could you start doing some settling in sessions at nursery and have a couple of hours off? I wish I'd allowed myself to put mine in nursery earlier so I had some time off before going back to work, my brain was mush.

he absolutely does help a lot

Sorry to be padantic but he's not helping you when he's looking after your baby and doing house work he's doing his fair share of family duties.

Brilliant to hear you spoke to your DH and will be arranging something. I think a lot of the time men need it spelt out to them what you need.

Yes venting is needed, being a mother to young ones is hard no matter what.

Instead of going for a walk is there something else that you can do on your own to replenish your energy/sanity? I think it's really important to find that and do it regularly like at least once a week no matter the state of the house or how clingy or whatever your baby is.

I found 9 months wasn't great for sleep, I think I imagined that the tiredness/not sleeping improves gradually in a steady way from birth whereas I found it was much more peaks and troughs than that. It'll all be different again in 3 months time.
When you have your second it's different as though you are caring for 2 it isn't quite a double of the demands as quite a lot of the work overlaps (meal prep, cleaning up etc) and you're already in the groove of the high needs of a baby. I didn't want to try to conceive until dc1 was 18 months though, like you just was too much. At that point though it seemed reasonable.
It was brilliant when both were over the age of 4. 😁

She is a very clingy baby and I think that's what's led to me feeling so overwhelmed!
I have a spa day booked for a few weeks time and am going out for dinner and taking a new book I have wanted to try read for the last year with me on Friday.
Thank you very much for the responses, it helps x

@ElmtreeMama

You are not on your own we have all felt like this at some point.

What I would say is I would maybe not to try for another baby just yet - a friend of mine had 2 under 2 and she found it totally overwhelming and even said herself that she wished she'd waited a while.

I have 3 years between mine and even that is hard work but I'd never have even considered trying for another with such a young baby I think that would have finished me off personally but everyone is different.

We sleep trained both at 9 months as I couldn't take the broken nights anymore & was going back to work imminently. Don't know if that's your situation but I would recommend though I know it's not for everyone. Also like a PP I couldn't have contemplated having a second at that stage. The thought didn't even enter my head. Fast forward to about 20 months when she was ultra cute and- crucially!- sleeping 7-7 every night... things felt a little different :-)

I would agree on not having another just yet. My best mate had two under two briefly and almost lost her mind. Waiting until the oldest has better communication skills and can be left unattended a bit (so 2.5/3) seems an easier gap.

There is something to be said for getting the baby years out of the way quickly, but if you're hating it you're just going to magnify that.