Activity groups 9 week old?

[Nat888]

So an acquaintance I bump into in morrisons sometimes has a little one the same age as me.

Everyday she talks about this group she has taken the baby to - swimming, soft play etc etc...

Now.. feel free to call me a shit mum but I wasn't planning on doing this with mine until 3 or 4 months old. I take him to morrisons or the park or Costa.. im still a bit nervous to take him too far alone

Should I be doing more with him? I'm now feeling completely shit about myself

Baby seems really happy and developing well but... did I miss a memo? She kinda looked shocked when I said we were not doing those things yet...

9 weeks ?

No. You're not a shit mum. Your friend is ... unusual

The groups are for the Mum not the baby at that age. They might enjoy the sensation of swimming for a bit, but the other stuff...

My eldest favourite trip at that age was the lighting department at B&Q. My youngeecDD went to playgroups etc with her big sister and slept through most of them.

Besides baby massage I'm not doing any classes or activities especially for the baby until around 1 year which would probably make your friend's head explode! She is just a baby, she is warm, loved and fed. She tags along to her big brother's activities and sees new sights doing that. Nothing more is needed imo and that's a good job too seeing as it's not even a possibility! Your friend sounds too anxious. 9 weeks is nothing, the baby hardly knows they've been born.

You are not a shit Mum.
The baby doesn't need any groups.

Some Mums want to interact with other new Mums. Which is great, if that is what they want. But equally, it isn't for everyone, so if you don't want to, then don't.
None of these classes benefit a little baby. It is entirely up to if you want to meet up with other Mums.

I'd say the groups are more for the mums than the babies, they get plenty of stimulation from mundane activities.

I always felt bad for not taking mine until they were a bit older but really, I just thought it was a bit of a waste of money.

Nah. You're good.

I went to a bumps and babies group run by the NCT. I went from 6 weeks with DC1 and 3 weeks with DC2. I loved this group. Basically baby either slept of laid on a mat and I had a cuppa and chatted to other adults.

If there is something like that in your local area I highly recommend them.

Anything else though I didn't bother with. Baby wasn't interested and I found with an activity I didn't get to chat to the other parents much.

Thanks guys. I mean this is what I thought. He can only just hold his own head up.. I couldn't see how he would get anything out of these groups yet.

It was her "oh, you don't do these things?" And horrified look that made ne question if I was doing something seriously wrong and needed a mumsnet sainity check. I'm kinda happy at the moment with our set up and not in a huge rush to meet other mums etc yet

It's just entirely personal. I've done classes from early with both as there's only so much going for walks with the pram I can do and my friends mostly work so I can't see someone for lunch/company every day except a couple who are on mat leave, so classes give me some structure and adult conversation. Also I have another child and on days I have them both, having something to go do is a definite plus. But it's for my benefit more than my DD's for sure!

I havent taken DD to any baby groups as such. We recently started swimming at our local pool in a class because she loves swimming and its nice to have some structure. She enjoys the 30mins in the pool splashing about. She was 7.5months when we started though.
I feel bad that I havent done any other groups but to be honest, theyre more aimed at mums than baby and Im quite happy doing activities at home for her.
Shes developing normally and I dont personally think she has missed anything from not going.

Just a heads up op you're probably going to meet a fair share of mums like that one! You will become more confident in responding to them in time. You sound like a great mum btw.

Not shit mum at all! I did take DD to one group from 4wks old but only because I needed it!

Babies get nothing from attending these groups! I went to quite a few with my second as we’d moved house and I didn’t do any antenatal classes, so it was a good way to meet mums and forced me to get out of the house. It was entirely for my benefit - if I’d had local friends with babies I wouldn’t have bothered!

Brace yourself because it will be a regular thing that other parents will try and oneupmanship you on their baby’ development. When mine were small it was all about hot housing and flash cards. If your 9 month old didn’t know all the capitals of the world then you were failing as a parent!
It never stops, even when they’ve left home. I even had one prize bitch say to me across two supermarket queues ‘ What’s your son up to, is he gainfully employed?’ My son is on the spectrum and struggles to hold down a job, which she well knew.
Its a form of desperate insecurity, like someone is going to tap them on the shoulder and say ‘nah, you’re doing it all wrong! Busted!’ As if. Please don’t give her another thought, they’ll be plenty more after her.

Thanks all ❤️❤️ I'm sure I'll harden up to the judgement soon.. I already find i roll my eyes more than they ever have in my entire life.

I think I'll hang out and hide in the milk aisle when I see her from now on

Judged if you do, judged if you don't.

Just do whatever you feel is best for you and your baby.

At this age its definitely for the mums.

Today I took my 8 week old to a neon/glowing sensory class because a few mums from my antenatal group had suggested it and I wanted to be sociable. DS looked around for about 10 minutes, cried, and spent rest of class breastfeeding and napping. Doubt it had any meaningful impact on his development..

First time around, I went to all these things early as I thought it's what I should be doing. As everyone else says it's more for the mums than the babies at that age. Which was fine as I wanted to meet others but my baby definitely didn't get anything out of the groups at that age.

Second time, I didn't do any proper classes except baby massage until around 4 months. I did go to mum and baby coffee mornings instead as I could just feed and chat without any pressure.

I took DD to a class when she was 9 weeks - I was excited to do a 'Mum and baby' activity. But the baby got no real benefit, it was more for me to socialise and get out of the house, especially because of lockdown.

I’m on my second DD who is a few weeks older than yours and we don’t do any classes. First time round I had my NCT group and at this age and most of first few months it’s for you rather than the baby. We did two terms of Hartbeeps
later on with oldest DD and then I got a bit done with all the songs (🙈 yep!). I made a mum friend from the class and we saw each other outside of that.

This time round I have one in school but will try one class out from September but this time it’s a bit ‘been there done that’ for me and not pressurising myself, just surviving the day 😂

Your friend is bored and wants to see other mums. That's ok- I did exactly the same but let's not pretend it's for the benefit of the baby!

I remember forcing myself to baby and mum yoga around that age, possibly even younger. It was awful. Everyone else tweaking little baby toes while they stretched and sung nursery rhymes. I always ended up bf in the corner or desperately trying to get mine to stop screaming. DD2 was cuddled on the sofa in front of OBEM and occasionally taken to pets at home to visit the rabbits.