Thinking of bottle feeding

[BabyO21]

I had my first baby at the start of last week and I am still very much adjusting to life with a newborn. I have been trying to breastfeed for over a week and it's been a really up and down process for us. We really struggled to begin with, she was falling asleep after latching on and hardly feeding. It resulted in her losing 1lb over the first couple of days and I felt awful and guilty. She did put 40 ounce on a couple of days later, but we have been doing a mixture of breastfeeding and cup feeding (midwife recommendation), and also using a combination of formula to top up, and expressed breast milk as my nipples are destroyed.
It's been really affecting my mental health though. She is awake all night screaming and it's heartbreaking me that she may be hungry. The only thing left is to exclusively bottle feed. I don't know why, but I just feel incredibly guilty at the idea of doing this. I like that I could share with DH, but I also feel sad that we won't get that bonding experience. But when I weigh things up, I know I can't keep going how I am, I want to enjoy these early days with my baby and feeding is completely ruining our experience together. But to make a proper decision I just wondered if anyone could help answer some questions (sorry if they're a bit stupid, she is my first):
If I were to express breast milk and bottle feed it, how often/how much do you give the baby?
If I cannot express enough breast milk for all feeds throughout the day, is it ok to combine with formula?
If we solely bottle feed with formula, again how often/how much do you give the baby?
And does anyone just have any positive stories or advice for this struggle new mumma?
Thank you! ❤️

There is nothing wrong in bottle & formula feeding. For formula the container has instructions telling you how much to make up for the weight of your baby.

Don't forget your milk will have only come through properly a few days ago, and it takes time for the baby to build up your supply. There is nothing wrong with combi feeding, but be aware you need to probably pump when you partner doea a bottle otherwise your supppy won't increase enough to keep feeding as well.
The quantities of breastmilk don't correlate to quantities of formula

Hi! I'm a newish mum to my now 6 month old.

I wanted to exclusively BF but, like you, my nipples were destroyed. I pumped when I could and breastfed if I was able. I stopped BF all together after 2 weeks as I just couldn't physically or mentally cope so ended up combi-feeding. We use Cow and Gate formula.

We always offered baby 4oz of formula or breast milk every 2-3 hours although you can offer less. We didn4oz purely because we have the tommee tippee prep machine and the lowest bottle it will make is 4oz. If you look on the back of formula boxes it does actually give you a guide telling you how much how often which we found useful.

If you can't express enough milk for one feed, save it and put it in the fridge and use formula. If you pump before next feed you can use BM for that one :)

We eventually ditched the breast milk because of my mental state. Baby boy was absolutely fine with just formula and is now a very happy little boy 😊

Hi @BabyO21
After DD2 was born I became massively engorged and my nipples were really sore. One night I was trying to latch her on and she just kept screaming, i was crying it was awful, so I just decided to express and give her a bottle and she drank it and went straight to sleep it was a massive relief.

I carried on doing that until my nipples were better, she went back to the breast no problem after about a week on bottles.

i think she was having 2-3oz every 2-3 hours. If she drank it and wanted more I gave her more.

I used to feed her, then when she was settled express for the next feed.

one tip I was given for getting a newborn to latch is if you are feeding from you left breast, hold the baby behind the neck/shoulders with your right arm, use you left index finger on your breast to stop your breast moving as you latch baby on.

How are you finding the expressing? You could use a combination of breast milk and formula if you can’t express enough.

I’ve had a lot of problems breastfeeding too - mine had tongue tie and my the time that was sorted my supply was quite low. There are a lot of advantages to combination feeding anyway although do he aware it won’t help your supply if you don’t pump.

It’s a myth that you can’t bond with your baby without breastfeeding. You can still bond while bottle feeding and you can still do skin to skin and contact naps to allow your baby to be close to you. I did find trying to keep up with pumping reduced bonding time.

You should try to feed responsively with bottle feeding too. And look up how to do paced bottle feeding.

You can calculate the daily amount your baby needs based on weight but there is a range and individual feed sizes and frequency may vary. The formula I have suggests much larger and less frequent feeds than what we actually do so take it with a grain of salt. Newborns still have small stomachs and might take smalll amounts frequently (2-4 hrs). Try to work out how much baby actually wants to drink at a time and make up that amount or a bit more.

we give both breastmilk and formula feeds depending on how much breast milk is available but don’t combine them in the same bottle.

Hi, I only bottle/formula feed my 4 week old bubs.

she was 4 weeks premmie plus I had a breast reduction years ago meaning I had trouble getting milk to come it was the lactation consultants who said just do bottle feed as my little girl needed the food quickly to put on weight.

I sometimes feel guilty when she tries to look for a nipple but mostly am finding there are benefits of bottle feeding. I can get some sleep while my partner watches her and can feed her if need be.

My advise; do what is best for you and baby both physically and mentally best! if that is bottle feeding go with it at the end of the day fed is best!!

Your mental health is far more important than breastmilk. Give her some formula, take the pressure off yourself. Plenty of children are formula fed and you'd never know - when you're in the newborn stage it feels like the most important thing in the world but when she's 5, you'll wonder why you ever put so much pressure on yourself. You can still continue trying to bf if you want to, give her the formula to top her up. If you don't want to, that's absolutely fine too.

I adore bottle feeding big fan, didn't even try breast feeding.
Read the back of the formula tin which will help guide you but my baby was roughly 3 or 4 oz every few hours and once she started to drain her bottles I upped it by an oz.
Looked up paced feeding helps you understand how to feed baby bottles.
Also if you decide to bottle feed rather than breast feed I would highly highly recommend a perfect prep machine.
It's amazing.
You could combi feed if you wanted?
I use SMA Pro formula had no issues baby loves it. For that formula it's 1 level scoop per oz.

Persevere with breast fur a few days with lanisoh for pain. Build up your supply. You will bond so much and it will be one easier than bottles in the long run. Good luck x

I don't know why women are made feel bad for formula feeding. It's not like your shoving McDonald's into your newborn. I FF my now 8 month old from the day he was born, he's a big happy healthy baby hitting all his milestones. If you feel like BF isn't working; which it doesn't sound like it is. Try FF and see if things improve. I'm sick hearing breast is best, a happy mum and baby is best! I hope things improve OP

But you do get an amazing bond breastfeeding, if it's possible

I knew I couldn't breast feed from the start so my little one has been bottle fed since birth. I cried over this a lot

He is now 9 weeks, gained a good amount of weight (he was a small baby) and I dont feel I have missed out on any bonding. He smiles at me daily, get loads of cuddles and his daddy feels closer to him being able to share the feeds.

Yes breast feeding is best but I still enjoy feeding and don't feel it has had a massive impact on my bonding or his development. He smiles, can hold his head up and we are getting some turning on his side already.

Your mental health is incredibly important. Whats worse - changing to bottle feeding or continuing and not being in a good place mentally for your baby.

But do what's best for you. As above it can take a while to establish breast feeding. Just sharing my experience with bottle feeding

^^
This with bells on xx

It's fine to bottle feed, you shouldn't feel guilty. And you definitely get that amazing bond with your baby, no matter how you feed them.Neither of mine ever had a breast feed - I went straight to the bottle and both I and mm y husband had a wonderful bond with them.

It is fine to feed however you want but it sounds like breastfeeding was important to you. It's still really early and the baby will be feeding a lot to get your supply up. I would try to ask for some support before you make a decision. It gets so much easier.
Does your area have a helpline or any breastfeeding groups?
I think most people need quite a bit of help and support at the start as they say it's a skill. I have seen lots of people on breastfeeding support group saying you can get into a top up trap where you use formula because your supply is low but that makes your supply lower.

You also get an amazing bond bottle feeding. Its the act of cuddling your baby, caring for it, changing its nappies, playing with it and yes, feeding them. Those things create the bond. Not whether the milk is from a bottle or a breast. This narrative that breastfeeding is essential to a good bond between mother and baby is nonsense and it can be incredibly harmful to vulnerable women. My baby was fed through a tube for the first 5 weeks of her life. We still bonded.

Trying to breastfeed through a shredded nipple and pain isn't a great place to build a bond from. Don't try and scare this new mum into thinking she will damage the bond with her baby because she doesnt want to put herself through any more pain and trauma when there's a perfectly safe and nutritious alternative that will sustain her baby while she works out what she wants to do.

There is nothing wrong with formula feeding.
Just follow the instructions on the tub.

You'll still bond with your baby so don't worry about that!

You get an amazing bond if you bottle feed too.

You also get an amazing bond with bottle feeding.

Yeah I echo the above posts - i definitely feel I have an amazing bond with my 9 week old and I have only ever bottle fed

When I was pregnant with my first DD-who is now 23!!, you wouldnt find anyone more for breastfeeding than me!! But one piece of advice I got from a work friend before going on maternity leave, was to get a couple of bottles, a steriliser & a very small tub/tin of formular milk before going into labour, as breastfeeding doesnt always pan out as you expect!!! And if BF doesnt pan out, you are not then panicking about getting everything for bottle feeding!!
It was the best advice I was given!!
After the shock of how painful childbirth was, I couldnt face breastfeeding & all that it entailed learning, plus I gave birth in the middle of the night so I was so shattered!! Ive never felt guilty, but all the "breast is best" is most probably right, surely the mental health of the mother & the physical health of both baby & mother is far better????!!!
You can still get the bonding with your baby while bottle feeding, you just follow all the guidelines-like skin-to-skin contact, but just with a bottle instead of the breast!! Plus your partner can get the same experience too!!

My baby was tongue tied and destroyed my nipples in his first week. It made feeding him an awful experience, I cried, he cried, it wasn’t fun for either of us and was really affecting my mental health.

We managed to get his tongue snipped fairly quickly but it continued to be difficult and I gave up. I felt pretty upset about it, but it was having a massive impact on me mentally and emotionally, as well as negatively affecting my bonding with him.

5.5 months down the track I’m 100% happy with that decision. He’s a happy, healthy baby and I didn’t waste months of his early life making myself miserable trying to breastfeed. Although I did give him a comfort breast feed once a day for the first few months until my supply ran out - my nipples could manage once day!

It’s also meant feeding is something I can share with my partner, which has been brilliant. I wouldn’t underestimate how freeing it can be to not have to provide all the feeds.

Re how much to give, we kind of ignored what it says on the formula pack and went by the NHS guidance which is 150-200 ml per kg of baby’s weight. We also fed on demand, which has meant more frequent feeding than the formula pack says. But, bar a few days when he’s been extra (or not very) hungry, we’ve always been within the NHS recommended range.

Definitely get yourself some proper face to face support in a voluntary group (not MW or HV team)
Sounds like bf is important to you, and with the right support it's absolutely oosibke to get through this really tough early bit.
x