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Parenting

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ASD traits in toddler - discussing with HV?

17 replies

OnTheDrive · 15/08/2022 15:18

My DS is 21 months and showing traits of ASD. To clarify, my brother was diagnosed with ASD age 4 (now an adult) and I was always aware there would be an increased chance of my own DC having ASD.

We had a traumatic birth and my DS was unwell for his first year of life, spending lots of time in hospital etc. In the last 6 months, I’ve noted a number of traits. I have recently discussed this with my parents and sister (who is a childrens nurse) and they all shared that they had noticed some traits also but didn’t know how to raise this with me.

My sons language is non-existent - he babbles and makes noises but no words. He will occasionally try and mimic a word he hears someone say, but will likely forget it by the following day, and there is no understanding. He does not have any understanding of basic words (like cup, mummy or garden - words we use every day). He will not look if we point at something and does not do things such as being us toys to show us or look at our faces/expressions as a point of reference in different situations.

Eye contact has always been very limited even when speaking to him. He will not look to mine or my partners face when we try and talk to him. He never responds to his name or if we talk and he is in the same room.

He has strong reactions to certain foods. Jelly makes him physically retch, and he will not eat anything cold at all. The foods he will eat are becoming more restricted over time but he will mainly only eat beige, crunchy foods (toast, crisps, crackers). He becomes upset if anything of a soft or wet texture touches him (such as yoghurt) or touches any food on his plate.

He is very sensitive to loud noises, and will scream and cry. He has always been fearful of any toys which have lots of lights and sound. He hates lots of people or busy places.

He shows no interest in other children when out and about, or anyone really. He does not smile often, and certainly doesn’t smile socially. More so if he is engaged in an activity he likes.

He shows stimming behaviours, flapping his hands and arms when he is excited or stressed and overwhelmed. He also has began twirling and head banging.

He doesn’t engage with toys like I see other children do at groups. He will sit and examine parts of a toy, such as the wheel of a scooter he will sit spinning rather than trying to ride it. He likes waving toys in front of his eyes, back and forth in repetitive motions. He is showing no signs of imaginative play, preferring to line or stack toys up or move them in repetitive motions.

He is our first child but regularly take him to groups and out and about to socialise with other children. We have always read to him and engaged in activities to support his development. He sat, crawled and walked in line with expected developmental ages.

I am aware he is not even 2 and I certainly do not feel there is a ‘need’ for any labels but I am keen to access support and any type of Early intervention, such as SALT, to ensure as a family we are supporting him as best as possible. I have taken the M-Chat screen online just to try and gain more of an objective overview and it has said the answers I gave indicated high risk.

Just to add, he isn’t in nursery or any form of childcare at present. We are incredibly fortunate to have grandparents providing care whilst myself and partner work.

I am taking him to a drop in clinic with the HV tomorrow to see if I can get the ball rolling but would love some advice on how best to approach this. I am worried I will be dismissed as these are ‘typical toddler behaviours’. Whilst I am aware some of the things he is showing are typical, I do think altogether, it could be indicative of him requiring a little extra support.

Has anyone been through a similar experience? Any advice or own experiences would be really appreciated. I just want to make sure DS has everything he needs to thrive.

OP posts:
Hugasauras · 15/08/2022 16:51

No advice but just wanted to bump Flowers

IsItTeatimeYet · 15/08/2022 16:59

Hi I’m a Salt . I would recommend you write down a list of all of the things your concerned about so you can clearly tell the HV ( just in case you get emotional/ the clinic is busy) including that you’ve done the MChat. Its also worth noting lots of salt services accept parent referrals if they are concerned ( just Google nhs speech therapy and your area name to find the department webs site) if your HV doesn’t refer. Hope your appointment goes well.

Mymoneydontjigglejiggle · 15/08/2022 17:02

Yes, many of the same traits as your DS. We are now on endless waiting lists for the paediatrician and SALT. Please please speak to your HV as soon as possible and push for a referral - I was really fobbed off for about 6 months and I wish I'd pushed harder. Good luck!

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HSKAT · 15/08/2022 17:15

Yes my son has/had these traits.
I said had as some have now gone, but we are still waiting for a peads app.
Good idea from pp to list your concerns, giving his age I think you have a good chance of them working with you now and getting things addressed.

We were also lucky to have grandparents for childcare but at my sons 2 year check we were advised to get him into nursery. It has done wonders for him in so many ways.
Whilst you don't need it for childcare maybe think about a couple of days for him because it's been amazing for my son.

Moneypanicker · 15/08/2022 17:31

In our area 21 months is far too young to refer. Be prepared to hear that they can't do anything yet.

Titsflyingsouth · 15/08/2022 17:59

Good advice re: writing it down. Also be sure to mention family history of ASD as I think HV do take concerns more strongly if there's likely to be a genetic link in family.

OnTheDrive · 16/08/2022 12:46

Thankyou everyone for your replies, it was really helpful. I wrote some things down as advised.

I was made to feel like it was all in my head if I'm honest. The HV didn’t know what I was talking about with the Mchat but felt the things I told her were very ‘normal’. I did try and make it clear I appreciate he is young and children develop at different paces but that I would like it to be explored further, with a view of anything myself or my family can do to support him and ensure we are accessing early interventions around his communication. I now am waiting for another health visitor to call me to see him at home…very frustrating, I feel like they think I am making it up.

OP posts:
JanglyBeads · 16/08/2022 12:58

So did she arrange for the other HV to contact you, or did you?

OnTheDrive · 16/08/2022 13:56

JanglyBeads · 16/08/2022 12:58

So did she arrange for the other HV to contact you, or did you?

She agreed she would arrange for a health visitor to call me with a view of home visit but couldn’t give a time frame around this.

OP posts:
Hugasauras · 16/08/2022 14:25

Maybe print out your opening post and give a copy to the next HV? Sorry your meeting wasn't as helpful as hoped. IME HVs can be be very hit or miss. If you get a good one then they can be worth their weight in gold, but bad ones are worse than useless.

unicormb · 16/08/2022 14:28

Go to your GP instead, OP.

HSKAT · 16/08/2022 14:40

Sorry you didn't have a good experience with your HV.
As pp, I've spoke to some terrible ones but my current one is amazing.
I hope your visit goes well, whilst yes he's young you have a lot to talk to her about.
Failing that again, I would honestly have a chat with your GP

IndecisiveAnnie · 16/08/2022 14:46

I agree about seeing if you can self refer for SALT; my area have this and we had a 30 minute advice session with a therapist within a few weeks and I’m now on a waiting list for makaton training and for a speech-focused group to start in September, and that was just based on my 17 month old only having 10 words (obviously not all clear, ‘nana’ for banana etc), so on the low end but within normal ranges. I also second going to your GP while you wait for the 2nd HV appointment. You sound like a great mum!

ihatebojo · 16/08/2022 14:58

Push this with your Peadiatrician. I was fobbed off, every single little thing can be explained away or put down to being a phase etc.

But when you look at the bigger picture, and combine everything, then things become clearer.

MY PFB was diagnosed at 3. I had to really push and push for this. There were many hoops to jump through (testing of eyes and ears etc) BUT it was the best thing that ever happened. He had early intervention, daily therapies and ten years later is doing really well at a specialist school. I am really confident about his future!

Don't give up, it's really important. Sadly, I learnt writing letters and making phone calls wasn't enough. I had to be very very firm and refuse to disappear quietly until I was taken seriously.

IsItTeatimeYet · 16/08/2022 16:55

Yes def check if you can self refer to the SALT most places accept parental referral for preschool children.

WinterSpringSummerorFall · 16/08/2022 17:03

Wheb they phone to make appointment to come see you, ask the HV to bring and complete both the ASQ and ASQ-SE screeners when they visit. They can use this to refer to paeds if needed.

autienotnaughty · 16/08/2022 22:20

IsItTeatimeYet · 15/08/2022 16:59

Hi I’m a Salt . I would recommend you write down a list of all of the things your concerned about so you can clearly tell the HV ( just in case you get emotional/ the clinic is busy) including that you’ve done the MChat. Its also worth noting lots of salt services accept parent referrals if they are concerned ( just Google nhs speech therapy and your area name to find the department webs site) if your HV doesn’t refer. Hope your appointment goes well.

This is exactly what I did. Had a fantastic hv and salt who support ds andbi through referral to paediatrician and onto pathway.

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