Playdates- do I need to do dinner?

[Miriam101]

After school. Is it ok to just say "come and pick up X at 5/530pm?" ie before tea? Or will the parents automatically assume their kids will be eating with us? I'm trying to psych myself up for more playdates next term - I find the whole thing a bit stressful which I know is ridiculous- but the idea of having to cook for another kid on top of my 5yo and their 2yo monster food throwing sibling really puts me off!

I’d do dinner at 5 and pick up at six or it’s eat and run out. Feeding them is the easiest part.

I do dinner for them because it uses up some time and means they're not trashing their bedrooms for as long.. so I'd have dinner on the table at 5pm with collection at 5.30.

But it doesn't really matter just say beforehand.

It's also great when mine have been on a play date and come back fed!

Yes, and/or bits for diy sandwiches.

I always say pick up at 5, I can't be bothered with fussy eaters or catering to specific foods etc. I provide plenty of snacks but don't do meals.

It's absolutely fine not to offer food - the most helpful thing is to let the other parent know what to expect ie what time they'll be back/whether they need to collect or you'll drop off and whether they will be fed.

I actually find it easier to provide a meal because that way you are not waiting with hangry children for another parent to collect their child. And if the kids start to get narky at any point, you can whip out some fish fingers to re focus them all! Kids love to stay for tea! But you know your limits and if you prefer to eat as a family then it's absolutely fine!

I think you’d need to phrase it that could they pick up 5pm before dinner but in all honesty for an after school play date I’d be expecting dinner to be provided

And don't be anxious! You're doing a lovely thing. If you have a park nearby I'd recommend:

Stopping at the park on the way home

A craft/board game/other type activity on hand when you get back in case they need something to focus on.

A picnic tea that you can prepare in advance. The time will fly. Honestly it will be fine and the more you do it the easier it gets.

I love how fish fingers is offered as a fix. The kids we know are either vegan, gluten free or some issue. That's why I don't do dinner.

I used to make a salad, get our small party bowls out and fill them with potential pizza toppings then slice a baguette and then the children could make their own dinner. If I was good I would have made my own pizza dough but I'm lazy.

This way they have a task to focus on which can reduce any bickering, especially if they are tired after school and especially if your DC arent used to other people playing with 'their' things. My DD is an only child and whilst she shared nicely outside the house she found other people being in her space, touching her things quite difficult.

Yes you should feed them.
What about a picky tea- party food almost?

I would feed them and have my dinner later. X