Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

13 month old seems conniving!

36 replies

sldenberns · 14/08/2022 18:09

Hear me out.. I know how it sounds. But I've been watching my little girls behaviour over the past couple of weeks and she is 100% doing naughty things deliberately. The more I tell her to stop - the more she does it... just now she was smacking my husbands face really hard and I told her NO! In a strict serious voice, she laughed and carried on!

I feel like she's too young to be like this?! What are your thoughts/ experiences? I'm
Worried she's going to have behavioural problems! It just seems so strange for such a youngster to be doing things that she knows are naughty and loving being told off?? Xx

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Shleepymummy · 14/08/2022 18:12

My LO is the same sometimes! She gives a look and smile that says ‘nahhhhh I’ll just crack on thanks Mum’
Does she really really know what ‘No’ means? Have you tried physically removing her from the situation she is being naughty with whilst saying no?
Try not to worry, it’ll happen in waves throughout childhood. Angel days and devil days. And she’s too young to analyse for behaviour problems. If you feel worried still when she is 2 plus, maybe then go to GP but I would say very normal!

montimama · 14/08/2022 18:16

Completely developmentally appropriate, her brain isn’t fully developed. She has no impulse control at this age, so she may understand somewhat not to do things but she can’t control her urge to do it. Doesn’t mean she will have any behavioural problems when older. The more attention you give this behaviour the more she is going to want to do it as it’s fun

Triffid1 · 14/08/2022 18:17

So... you tell her off...? And...? Because to me, it sounds like a child who either likes the attention as there's no downside to her for it and/or a child who genuinely has no idea that being told no is bad.

Why aren't you saying, "No!' firmly and then, if behaviour continues, removing her from your dh?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1 year olds Behaviour & development Families General parenting
Eupraxia · 14/08/2022 18:19

told her NO! In a strict serious voice, she laughed and carried on!

Then what....?

RandomMess · 14/08/2022 18:19

She's doing it because of your reaction.

You make a big reaction and that is attractive to her.

Triffid1 · 14/08/2022 18:20

This is actually quite annoying. You are giving her negative adult mindsets instead of.... parenting her.

We saw similar with dn. and to this day, his behaviour4 is often awful around his parents.

Hugasauras · 14/08/2022 18:21

She's 13 months. Just remove her from whatever she's doing/remove what she shouldn't have. 13-month-olds are not conniving and she doesn't understand 'being naughty'.

Lavendersummer · 14/08/2022 18:24

She know what no means.
she doesn’t have the impulse control to stop
any attention is good attention. Laughing gets attention.
A firm no. Restrain her hand firm but gently. Put her down if she continues
.Maybe get some books/look at websites on toddler development - I mean this kindly not rudely.
before the age of 5 children don’t have much reason. That’s why you spend most of your time stopping them from hurting themself. Repetition, a routine and clear boundaries help

Cinnabomb · 14/08/2022 18:31

Also sometimes laughter is them expressing their uncertainty at the situation, they don’t know what other reaction to have. Consistent clear boundaries and consequences (eg if she hits, firm ‘No’ and put her down)

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 14/08/2022 18:33

Yes, she will have behavioural problems if she continues with no discipline

Original poster
sldenberns · 14/08/2022 18:34

Thanks all. So yes, sorry I didn't carry on, I said no firmly and after the 3rd time I removed her from the situation.. she then turned to me wagging her finger babbling - as if she was telling me off!

Also this morning we were lying in bed with her - my hisbamd asked her for a cuddle, she pushed him away and came over to me whilst staring at him - to cuddle and kiss me.....

OP posts:
Seeline · 14/08/2022 18:36

What was your DHs reaction to being hit really hard round the face? Was he laughing? Did he immediately say No and put her down? Why was it down to you?

Original poster
sldenberns · 14/08/2022 18:39

No, he didn't laugh. It was a pretty quick situation and he was pretty shocked... I reacted before he did.

OP posts:
Numbat2022 · 14/08/2022 18:41

Completely normal. You're giving her a big reaction, she thinks it's funny. She barely knows what NO means. If you wag your finger at her (or someone in her life does) she'll do it too. Babies mimic, that's how they learn. It's all going in and it all comes back out again - whether you like it or not.

In time she'll start to understand consequences, so best to start managing her behaviour like that now and take her away from whatever it is you don't want her to do.

findingsomeone · 14/08/2022 18:48

She doesn't know it's naughty, that's the biggest thing that stands out to me from your post. She is reacting to your reaction, which she finds funny. 'No' (as you are using it) doesn't work so I'd probably refine how you are using it at this point. Stop her doing it immediately as she won't listen to the word and say 'no hitting' in a normal voice as you do it. And if she laughs just be straight faced and repeat.

Kids want to find fun and laughter in everything, that's her motive.

Pussycat22 · 14/08/2022 18:57

She's one year old!!!!

Original poster
sldenberns · 14/08/2022 19:02

@Pussycat22 do you have a child?

OP posts:
ladydimitrescu · 15/08/2022 00:05

She doesn't have the brain capacity to be malicious, she's a baby.
It's completely normal.

winterlilies · 15/08/2022 00:09

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Louise0701 · 15/08/2022 00:11

@winterlilies I agree with your post.

OP your baby is 1 for Christ sake! She isn’t naughty or conniving. As a PP said, it’s worth reading up on toddler development. Don’t label her a naughty child at 13 months.

Chattycathydoll · 15/08/2022 00:12

She’s a baby. She’s seeing what happens when she does different things.

’if I smack Daddy, Mummy talks in a different voice!’

she doesn’t know that’s your serious voice. She hasn’t learnt what wagging your finger means. She’s just learning consequences. Any reaction is fun and interesting given she’s only just discovering she can make them happen.

Deadringer · 15/08/2022 00:22

She is a baby. How could she understand that if she slaps her hands together everyone is delighted, yay she is clapping, but if she is slapping someone's face it's naughty? You have to teach her. Also small children like attention and they can't differentiate between negative and positive attention. And to think that she is conniving is very weird.

Clymene · 15/08/2022 00:24

You need to say no and take her away and distract her. Not attribute negative adult characteristics to her.

HeddaGarbled · 15/08/2022 00:24

That’s not what conniving means. Conniving involves deceit. That’s a worrying label you’ve decided on.

Alex Drake · 15/08/2022 01:01

My walking toddler was obsessed with the plug socket for the TV, would make a beeline for it at any opportunity. Of course we would shout, 'no, no touch' and remove him, time and time again. One time I saw him going back to his favourite spot, give himself a 'no no. No touch' lecture complete with finger no no waggling - then went on to touch it!

To me it just proved that they hear us, and can mimic us, but have zero common sense, rational thinking or hazard perception- cause they're babies!

Swipe left for the next trending thread