Partners mum

[C2190]

Hey, I'd like some advice regarding my partners mum. So we've got a little 4 month old DS and my partners mum was happy when she found out I was pregnant, she was good throughout the pregnancy and knitted lots of lovely things for DS coming along. Fast forward to DS being 4 weeks old, it was my partners mums birthday and we were going to visit her, baring in mind we just had a little 4 weeks old baby, we were an hour or so later than the time we said we were going to be there...she wasn't happy when we turned up to her house, we went out for some lunch but she wasn't in the best of moods, it almost felt like she was trying to speak to my parter and just not involve me in the chat, so the following day she sent my parter a big text message complaining of how we were late to see her, how she doesn't get time with her GS, she said that my family get to see him more than her and she also said that my family didn't include her at the family meal which they did, my parter gets on great with my family, she's made comments to him such as "you don't need me anymore" and "maybe you prefer your new family" She seems to make up little thoughts in her head and stays up to 4am every night festering over it. My partner has always been very close to his mum, he does alot for her which is great to see but ever since we've had our DS she seems to be jealous in a way because my parter can't just go and do things for her every time she asks him to baring in mind his brother and sister still live in the house with her, they could help more. So now she isn't speaking to my parter or myself and she hasn't seen her GS for 8 weeks as he's now 4 months old! She has fallen out with alot of people in her life, including her best friend who joined a club and made some new friends, my partners mum wasn't happy about this even though they lived in different parts of the country!

Sorry long rant but I'm baffled as to why this has came to this

I’d say she is jealous/controlling, wants her DS back. Also sounds narcissistic.

I would agree, it's just upsetting as DS is changing all the time, his little character is coming out and she's missing out because of her mindset

I guess she is feeling insecure at the change to the family dynamic and wants reassurance that she still matters.

She is going about it in an immature way, but given that you said she was nice before, and that she is close to your partner, I would perhaps give her the benefit of the doubt for now?

Maybe you could make a special effort to reach out to her? Send her photos of little one in knitted outfits?

Suggest a coffee out with you her and DS?

Also maybe suggest your partner finds time to take her for lunch just the two of them?

I know many posters will say she is being totally unreasonable, which she is! But she might just need some extra reassurance for the moment.

If she carries on being a nightmare at least you can say you tried! Then there will be no guilt about it.

Also - if she has ever read any mumsnet threads they have probably convinced her that she has in fact been replaced and that your partner will mindlessly just replace her with your family and forget all about her 😂😂😂

So go easy on her

Leave her to her paranoia op. Given your description of her nowt you do will ever be good enough...
Step back and enjoy your dc...
Let your dp navigate how things move forward. Keeping out of it is vital ime.

Leave her too it.
A while back I would have wrote to make plans with her and send her texts and videos and facetime her more but honestly I was always so fed up of making all the effort for other people and getting nothing in return.
She will come around and eventually will realise what she is missing probably have a few tears when she sees her GS. But its her fault for choosing not to be involved
In the meantime enjoy the peace and lack of meddling or interfering Enjoy your little family

Thanks for the replies, it's just been playing on my mind lately and family that she has fallen out with in the past has never got resolved, I just find it upsetting because my DS doesn't have his grandads as both passed away so it would be lovely for him to have both his grans, my mum is amazing with him and he gives everybody big smiles but I can't help but wonder about her missing out, I reckon she is a very lonely person who pushes everyone who cares about her away, now this has happened. My family have been nothing but nice to her from day one

Op, now is an excellent time to learn that you don't make other people's problems your problem. Let your partner deal with her tantrum and wash your hands of it. Don't allow her issues to cloud your life.