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Free time

3 replies

Heyln · 14/08/2022 12:59

My husband and I have 3 young children together. He's a self employed tradesman and is quite unhappy in his job but doesn't want to look for anything else as he likes the flexibility of being self employed and doesn't feel he has the skills for anything else self employed right now. He often feels quite stressed and complains that he has no outlet and no fun in his life. We don't have many opportunities for time without the kids so the only chance we get is if one of us has the kids so the other can go do stuff. Just wondering how other people who don't have much chance for babysitting manage to get time to themselves and time to do fun things? What do your weekends look like and how often do you make for yourselves/your partner to have time alone to see friends or do something alone (not together as a couple but one parent watching the kids so the other can have time out). My husband works late a lot of the time so I do most of the childcare during the week anyway.he will often fill his free time or weekend doing strenuous household activities (his choice. Things like building a shed, mowing the lawn, DIY, maintenance etc)so by the time he goes back to work it's not a proper break. What does your free time look like? Wondering how we can change things up a bit to help him feel better.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 14/08/2022 13:02

Think your husband in unrealistic- he works late, that’s an issue, it kids are asleep by 7.30/8 then you have a couple of hours in the evening. Also you have 3 kids- I can leave my husband with our 2 and vice versa for an hour or so to go out at the weekend- once you add a 3rd it usually requires 2 adults (least what I’ve seen of my friends with 3)

MolliciousIntent · 14/08/2022 13:04

What are his evenings like? My DH and I try to make sure we each get an evening off a week. His are usually spent in the pub with mates, I tend to go out by myself with a book!

Does he have to be the one doing the strenuous household stuff? Can't you mow the lawn or do the DIY one weekend and he can do something fun with the kids? Or just pop a film on for them and have a doze on the sofa?

On the babysitting front, we're currently cultivating a small cast of local teens to sit for us. Their parents are within 100m and we only pay them a fiver an hour, so it's pretty good value for a quick drink of an evening, or a meal out locally.

vincettenoir · 14/08/2022 13:42

We are in a similar position. I usually have 1 or 2 nights / afternoons out a month with friends and he probably has a little more, maybe one a fortnight. Usually I have Saturday mornings to myself and clean the house and do some You Tube Pilates. What we are missing is afternoon / nights out together. We only get this for a few hours a couple of times a year and are missing it too.

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