How old was your LO when you first left them overnight?

[Calphurnia88]

Just that really!

LO is almost 5mo. Pre-baby I had envisaged by now we would be leaving him with DGPs overnight so we could have some time to ourselves.

Fast forward to the present and this couldn't be further from the truth. He needs support to sleep and will only allow me to settle him (he gets agitated if my partner tries). He wakes up several times in the night and needs me to settle him back to sleep. As such, I go to bed at the same time as him to maximise both our sleep.

I know this is all biologically normal and have no interest in sleep training (although I have been layering sleep associations) but I guess it's weighing on me that LO is very reliant on me at bedtime/nighttime. Given my partner can't even settle him I don't think anyone else would stand a chance (we have attempted evenings with LO at DGPs. They were not successful 😅).

It would be good to read other people's experiences, especially anyone with babies who needed support to sleep.

DD is 3 yrs 8m and had her first sleepover at her Grandparents last week. She loved it and I was happy with it. I think if covid hadn't happened we may have tried earlier but such is life. There's no wrong answer - just what feels right for you with your baby and your support network.

14 months

DD about two and a half, she was EBF then Covid happened so that’s just how long it took. With the next I think we’ll hopefully get my Mum to do the odd overnight from a year or so so they get a routine together.

With her dad - about 16 months for a work thing (had been out with friends socially and left DH to put her to bed before that, just not the full night.)

Haven’t left her with anyone other than DH yet and she’s just turned 2. She coslept for ages, grandparents are older and don’t feel confident doing overnights (though they did babysit till 11 when we went to a wedding a few months ago), there are other family members I’d be comfortable leaving her with when she’s a little older, but hasn’t felt right just yet.

Not by choice, but 8 days. I got rushed into hospital and baby had to stay with grandparents for a couple of weeks while I got better- he’s been there once a fortnight for a sleep over ever since.

I don't think we ever left DC overnight in terms of going away without them. In fact we only really had occasional babysitting in terms of DH and I going out for the evening . First time I think I spent away overnight was when I had a hospital stay when DS was about 6 - and even then he was with DH. First time without either of us would have been a sleepover with friends - around 9/10.

Ours are 5 and 7 and they've only stayed with us parents. We've both been away separately but we don't know anyone who could have them overnight (and we couldn't afford overnight childcare)

First baby was left for most of the night at 7 months out of necessity-we were moving across counties so parents came to help us with packing and loading van and then my mum took baby late afternoon while we carried on. We finally got finished very late and then drove to my parents house (where we were moving to). He had been a nightmare for sleeping but apparently had been fine for my mum and I wasn't overly worried because he would take a bottle by that point. We arrived at my parents about 1am so in time for him to wake up at about 2am (that was fun 🙄). We left him properly overnight (as in we went to a hotel and weren't coming back until the following day) when he was 10 months old and he was far more reliably sleeping by then, waking for a lightening fast bottle feed and was waking very early but my mum wakes up really early so not a problem.

My second DS slept with me in my bed for 14 months. He breastfed for 4 years. He first went to stay overnight at his dads at 11 months old. I pumped as much as I could and was worried but figured that he had his dad and his nana there and wouldn't actually be hungry because he could be kept going for one day and night with food if need be. He absolutely refused to take a bottle at any point and was apparently fine, did wake up but was fine with cuddles (and also ok with not bed sharing)

5 months is still teeny tiny OP so I wouldn't worry too much. My two have still only ever slept overnight at their grandparents or their dads. I have been able to go out for part of the evening with confidence since both were about a year old or maybe a bit younger even my boob mad co sleeping youngest and you're laying all the right groundwork now by being responsive to your babies needs. A baby that is responded to and made to feel completely secure is going to be made more confident and therefore more easily left as they get older. So keep doing what you're doing and you'll start to see it pay off as your little one grows 😊