hi
I would really value advice / similar experiences
I have a 10 month old baby. I went back to work last week (before that I looked after her on mat leave). DH is now looking after her during school holidays and then in Sept she starts going to childminder for couple of days a week, and then with either me or DH for rest of week.
Since I've gone back to work, I've obviously looked after her a lot less. It's breaking my heart that now my daughter seems to favour DH over me e.g. going to him for cuddles when we're reading bedtime stories. I'm trying to find time each day to spend 1:1 time with her . I feel like there is a distance between me and her now, and I'm worried she doesn't like me / isn't comforted me anymore. It's nice that she has a close relationship with her dad, but I feel it has meant I have been rejected.
Full disclosure - I had / have quite bad PND/A following dreadful birth and lots of health problems (mine and daughters). I did struggle to bond with her to begin with and thought she would be happier with someone else as her mother. Now I'm worrying the same thing all over again, and that maybe she just needs her dad and not me in her life. (already taking antidepressants / already in therapy / health visitor made everything 20 times worse when she visited so definitely never seeking advice from them again)
Anyone felt similarly and does anything change?
Thank you.