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DH reverting to screentime EVERY TIME!

9 replies

KitKatKit · 12/08/2022 11:25

Before anybody thinks I'm being precious about screentime, I'm totally fine with small amounts of it throughout the week and am not anti screen.

Here's the issue. Both DH and I work full time. 2yo DS goes to nursery full time.
On the days that DS is at home, I try to keep his toys/books out and accessible so that he's got options to entertain himself, and of course he'll often just potter around after me as I'm doing jobs around the house. I'll normally let him watch an episode or two of his favourite CBeebies program after he's had his breakfast (whilst I wash up), and then an episode or two before dinner. So max total screen time a day is 2 x 15 min chunks, and some days it's none at all.

I'll often take DS out to the shops, the park, to role play centres, playdates with friends and family and found that this works well for DS, he's not over stimulated by screens and is much happier when we're actually doing stuff with him. Compared to some of the posts I see on here, I probably don't take DS out ENOUGH, but I aim for once a day.

I've recently had to take on an additional commitment which has meant DH has to take care of DS a bit more. This morning , between the hours of 8am and 11am, DS has been in front of the tv for about 2.5hrs, with the other 30 mins at 9.30am being outside where I had set up cold water play, toys etc in the shade out of the sun.

I know it's hot today so wasn't expecting DS to be outside for hours, but I do expect DH to at least make some effort in encouraging DS to build blocks/ play cars, trains/ do some drawing / read some books.

I'm annoyed because I'm ALWAYS trying to keep DS occupied in any way I can (even if its him emptying the Tupperware cupboard), and try 5 things before I resort to the telly.

I probably wouldn't be so annoyed if it was a rainy day and DS was a bit older . But he's only 2, his brain is rife for expanding and DH just sits on his bloody phone and plonks DS in front of the tv so he doesn't have to parent!

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Butteryflakycrust83 · 12/08/2022 11:36

Its just lazyness. Does he sit scrolling his phone on the sofa while DS watches the tv?

I am not anti screen at all, its a useful tool, but sounds like he just cant be arsed.

He needs to find something he enjoys doing with DS as a starter. My DH struggles with roleplay type stuff or with toys but loves to do colouring, gardening, going out for a walk.

Have a chat, don't make it a 'I do all this so you have to copy me, the perfect parent' as it will just make him defensive. Discuss both of your views on screentime and agree a happy medium.

Spohn · 12/08/2022 11:41

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Butteryflakycrust83 · 12/08/2022 11:44

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Jesus christ - thats a bit of a stretch even for mumsnet.

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KitKatKit · 12/08/2022 11:47

@Butteryflakycrust83 Thanks for your considered response, and yes, a chat is in order. The trouble is, I am so fed up of it that I probably need to write down what I want to say before I launch into one!

@Spohn Wow, thank you so much for the useful insight and tips you've shared! My mind is blown by your helpfulness!
Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

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ANewNameANewDay · 12/08/2022 12:07

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Meow!

@Butteryflakycrust83 makes some really good points, especially around not trying to get him to mirror your parenting but to find something he can do of his own accord that he'll enjoy.

Are there any local dad & baby group type things? We have a few local to us which are quite popular (which surprised me!)

Rakszasa · 12/08/2022 12:11

I would be extremely annoyed with it too. Maybe buy egg timer, set it up every time when DS watches TV (for however long you're gonna agree with your partner), and when it buzzes it's time to turn the TV off. Maybe DS will pick it up, and he will be reminding dad to turn the timer on?

underneaththeash · 12/08/2022 12:16

My DH was equally lazy.

talk to him first of all.

(eventually though, I did just take to taking the iPad and remote control out with me.

Goldbar · 12/08/2022 13:02

That's annoying. An hour here and there doesn't matter and I'd be a bit tolerant with additional screen time today since it's so hot but not if it's going to be a general pattern. If your DH doesn't want to engage with DS at home, he needs to take him out. That way, your DS will get a good balance of outings (library, soft play, playgroups, walks etc) and time at home with you spent doing stuff.

parietal · 12/08/2022 13:06

talk to your DH, but you will probably have better results if you make it seem like his idea. rather than say 'you must limit screen time' ask him what he thinks DC should be doing with their time and if there are activities he can go out to with DC.

(you shouldn't have to do this, but sometimes it works).

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