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Confused about ex now baby dad. CMs advice

3 replies

Babygirlmum · 12/08/2022 01:32

I have posted about this ex a few times on this site so let me cut a long story short, my ex broken up with me when I was pregnant as he didn't want to be a dad to our baby, anyway I have had the baby she is now 4 months old and I have filed for CMS and since doing this he has been in contact with me now asking to see my daughter and asking for pics etc, he has asked for a dna witch I am fine to do and we are now going through the process of a dna test for my daughter and him, my daughter is the image of him and he knows this, anyway since doing this he has started going cold on me again and hating the fact I have gotten in contact with cms after getting in contact and being ok about it and wanted to make things right for me and my daughter, he asked could he see her snd I have been very hesitant as the way he treated me while I was pregnant and leaving me alone with our daughter, I have my barriers up to say the least, now I feel like he is prolonging things in terms of CMS so he doesn't have to pay me for longer but I don't know I am very confused by all this as I don't know if he came back with good intentions to see my daughter or just because I had gotten in contact with Cm I don't know what to do, my head says block him and get on with your life snd my heart says you can't do that, my head is everywhere since he's been in contact.

OP posts:
HinchcliffeandMurgatroyd · 12/08/2022 01:53

Yes he’s manipulating you. A decent bloke wouldn’t cut contact with the woman expecting his child then flip flop.

It doesn’t have to be a straight choice between blocking him or trusting him. You could tell him it would be better not to have contact until the CM is sorted, or you could offer him monthly contact centre visits. You could let a solicitor make him an offer of fixed, I frequent contact and see if he will at least step up to that. You could say you need time for your hormones to settle before you make any decisions or changes. You could offer him five minutes of face time with her a week once she’s sitting up..,

Lots of options. Whatever you do, don’t rely on him, and put yourself and DD first.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 12/08/2022 01:56

Ignore all the emotional manipulation. Focus on your daughter and keep going through CMS. He’s just trying to get out of paying you. No decent bloke would do this so for God’s sake don’t think about getting back with him.

Fraaahnces · 12/08/2022 02:01

Don’t fall for it. He can pay what is required or get lost.

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