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Parenting

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Sleep just makes no sense at all

10 replies

IcedCoffeeGirl · 11/08/2022 20:57

I’m sorry but it just makes no sense at all.

the sleep regression hits and suddenly it’s skipping and fighting naps and waking up all through the night. So you do whatever you can to get your baby to sleep because they need to. And so sleep associations are born, even where they didn’t exist before.

pretty soon you have a chronically over tired baby who needs the same association to fall back to sleep every time they wake up.

so what does all the advice say?
your baby is over tired because they can’t self settle, they need your help every time they wake up so naps are 45 minutes and they wake all night long.
they need to learn to self settle.
but don’t even think about attempting sleep training gentle or otherwise on an over tired baby as it will never work.
they need to catch up on all their sleep first.
but they can’t because the same problems still exist that apparently we can’t fix because they’re too over tired to handle it.

okay what? By that logic things will never change and I have no idea what to do.

get DD to take 2hr naps on me to get more sleep but create worse sleep associations and less self settling??

Let her keep up with 45 minute naps that take me an hour to achieve and wait for things to magically change on their own because at least she can be put in the crib to sleep atm?

try sleep training anyway??

I don’t understand how to get past the overtiredness without moving further and further away from any self settling.

the worst thing is, she used to put herself to sleep no problem before the bloody sleep regression.

OP posts:
Bluub · 11/08/2022 21:01

It's a wonder how anyone sleeps tbh isn't it! It's so confusing.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 11/08/2022 21:03

Just sleep train 🙈 I wasted months not doing it and then it was all sorted out in like 2 nights - she learned to sept settle and then I had my evenings back again and it was all fine I wish I’d done it sooner

SlagathaChristie · 11/08/2022 21:05

Fupoffyagrasshole · 11/08/2022 21:03

Just sleep train 🙈 I wasted months not doing it and then it was all sorted out in like 2 nights - she learned to sept settle and then I had my evenings back again and it was all fine I wish I’d done it sooner

How old was she and what method did you use please? Asking as a very interested mother of a 4 monther having quite the regression.

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AuraBora · 11/08/2022 21:08

Watching this with interest... my 5 month old's sleep is getting worse now we have rolling added into the mix. Although no obvious regression here, it was pretty bad before!! 🙄

IcedCoffeeGirl · 11/08/2022 21:09

Fupoffyagrasshole · 11/08/2022 21:03

Just sleep train 🙈 I wasted months not doing it and then it was all sorted out in like 2 nights - she learned to sept settle and then I had my evenings back again and it was all fine I wish I’d done it sooner

Also interested in your method. I just can’t do CIO because DD screams like she’s being murdered no joke. I’ve tried a bit of pick up put down which works for a while until she starts getting tired and ends up screaming and always ends up being bf to sleep in the end anyway.

OP posts:
Justhereforaibu1 · 11/08/2022 21:10

Yes, just sleep train. We used the Ferber method worked in 3 nights at 7.5 months old. You will know pretty soon if its working. Best of luck

IcedCoffeeGirl · 11/08/2022 21:11

Also just to add, naps aren’t extendable in any way as she doesn’t sleep in the car, pushchair or carrier, so it’s 45mins in the crib after being fed to sleep, or longer whilst staying latched on the whole time creating what must be the worst sleep association ever.
and co sleeping doesn’t work either.

OP posts:
Justhereforaibu1 · 11/08/2022 21:16

We got the nights sorted first and the naps just fell into place.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 11/08/2022 22:13

I guess it was Ferber !

I bought the just chill mama online course

essentially it was controlled crying - but I did a very relaxed version - in room while she cried patting and reassuring and leaving room when she was not crying

this didn’t really work Great for us so we then went for leaving the room for 5 mins - then 10 mins and so on

she went asleep on the first night after 45 mins

and that night she slept 6 hours and woke for a quick feed and went back to sleep til morning !

then night 2 she was asleep within 15 mins and that was it basically

She was 6 months old when we did this

the key was basically never taking her back out the cot as that was giving mixed messages so the most intervention was going back in, lying her back down and a bit of patting and saying go to sleep shhhh etc

even now at 18 months some nights I sit there patting her or rubbing her face for a bit

i never felt like it was cry it out or that it was cruel in any way - it was a bit if crying but I wasn’t just leaving her there alone and never coming back !

IcedCoffeeGirl · 12/08/2022 03:55

Justhereforaibu1 · 11/08/2022 21:16

We got the nights sorted first and the naps just fell into place.

Yes, but how?

im trying but if I can’t sleep train an overtired baby then it’s always going to be feed to sleep which results in all night wake ups

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