If you have young children, how much time do you get to yourself?

[Classicblunder]

By which I mean time without the kids, work or chores?

We have a 5 year old and a 3 year old, I work 4 days a week and have the 3 year old on my non working day.

I think in total, I get maybe an hour a week each weekend, evenings are sort of free time but do involve cooking dinner, bits of life admin, sometimes catching up on work.

I feel like that's not very much but maybe it's normal?

I have a 4 year old and work 3 days a week. Im the same as you, i may get a spare hour here or there where his dad will take him out for a bit to try and let me have some peace and quiet but thats it. And again i usually end up doing chores but i try make myself relax but theres always so much to to! Its exhausting

Very little. After they've gone to bed, basically. But you spend that eating/watching a bit of TV. Nothing fun! I CAN do stuff alone and leave them with DH but that doesn't end up happening very often, there's always other stuff to do/sort.

I'd love to be able to be more spontaneous WITH my husband, actual quality time! My in-laws are retired quite young, I wish they'd take the kids off our hands just for a couple of hours every now and then but it has never happened.

I have a 4 year old, and i get maybe 2-3 hours each evening after DD is in bed at 8pm.

On the weekends, even when i'm home with DD she'll be off playing with her toys so I feel like i get time to myself as she doesn't need to be watched 24/7 and normally DH and i will each take her out so the other can have a couple of hours of no child at all

I’ll sometimes have a bit of a lie in for maybe 30-40 mins one day at the weekend, whilst DH gets up with the kids, but only once every 2-3 weeks. The rest of the time, the kids are around or I’m working - they do sometimes play together (or plug themselves into screens!) and not need anything from me for a while so I might chill out and read for a bit, but I’m still “on duty”.
i did however have a couple of days earlier in the holidays when DH had time off and took the kids to his parents house and stayed with them there, whilst I was home alone as I was working, and those few days were blissful 😂. Only happens once a year if that though!

I would say it’s normal? I’m a single parent and get no time to myself (ex not involved) they are with me 24/7

Do you not use any childcare to work?

I might go for a walk 2-3 evenings a week. And when they are in bed I don’t do much housework to be honest…that’s my time. I am going away this weekend on a spa weekend in my own though so I am looking forward to that!! Other than that I get alone time in the car or when I go out with friends etc maybe 1-2 times a month.

I’m quite lucky. I teach, and my toddler goes to nursery for two days a week in school holidays. The rest of the time - none!

We had a horrible stage of sleep ( or lack thereof) where I had to go to bed when the toddler did as I’d be up all night, but managed to sort that. Now I am very grateful for the 7-10 window. Also have some time when the toddler naps but I know that will change!

Sorry I thought you said without work or chores, my child is disabled so I’m a full time carer for her (she can’t attend child care)

And it isn’t exactly normal, to be honest, @FlyingSaucerss . I think a single parent to a disabled child is tougher than most people have it.

A couple of hours in the eve once my DD3 has gone to sleep, depends if she's napped (she doesn't normally anymore though). In the school holidays I put her in to nursery for the odd day here and there (6 days in total for 6 week holls). Invariably I'm doing chores during this time though.No family help or support , haven't had an eve out with partner for a year. It feels hard, I feel like I can't prioritise myself until DD is older. I'm overweight and want to feel better about myself but don't have the time normally.

About 1.5 hours each afternoon I wasn't at work when DD napped (when she dropped naps we swopped for 'quiet time' in her room instead). Obviously I had to be in house throughout and couldn't do anything noisy but it was useful time to get a qualification done online.

Then 1-2 hours each evening, depending on how bedtime went, chores etc. Plus a half day at weekends when DH was with her - we tried to ensure we each had a similar amount of child and chore free time each week.

The leisure centre crèche was a good find - you could book them in for up to two hours and you had to stay on site but I used to book mine in for two hours then go and sit in the cafe and read a book

An hour here and there when I get my baby to nap or sleep at night

I tried to batch up the life admin type stuff into one of those hours each week so it didn't end up taking over more time. It's a lot easier to get laptop out and get through 3 or 4 tasks like that than do them separately.

I look after my autistic son (age 3) from 7am to 6.30pm every day. Then DH has him for an hour and a half and does bedtime. 2 nights a week I go to yoga otherwise I have a bath. At weekends I have a sat morning to exercise and be by myself.

I work three days a week (3 year old at nursery). On the other days, I share childcare equally with DH so I get about three half days to myself and we spend one afternoon at the weekend as a family. She also goes to bed at 7pm and sleeps well so I have the evenings free.

I think I get plenty of free time because we split childcare down the middle. We always eat together and do bedtime together so that makes up for the lack of family time during the week. We both pursue hobbies and have enough time to socialise (separately) so it works for us.

We also split childcare down the middle (DH also does a 4 day week) but we tend to have more family time at the weekend. I think it's going from 1 to 2 kids - both of them together are quite tiring to handle so we tend to prefer to both be around.

You are my hero!

I think I am feeling it a bit lately now that I am no longer WFH full time, that was really nice in terms of feeling like I got some alone time even though it was working time and also for getting chores like laundry done more efficiently

The leisure centre crèche can be a tiny bit embarrassing - you have to put where you'll be within the centre so the crèche staff can find you if needed. All the other mums were enthusiastically writing 'swimming', 'gym' 'LBT class' whilst I put 'cafe'!

[I did go swimming a couple of times too!]

I get more but tbh I’ve never subscribed to the idea that weekends me and my husband have to do every activity with the kids together. A 1 yr old and a 5yr old we spend a lot of time at parks and soft play trying to burn their energy- so 1 can take both and the other gets time. Also I work from
home, head to the gym at 5, back for my husband to go to the gym at 6.30. It’s tag teaming- I also got more selfish carving out time to go to the gym, as I was so unhappy post lockdown baby weight!

Maybe an hour after they go to bed if I’m not working. Dh and I both work. He leaves the house at 8 back at 5. I look after toddler all day + cleaning+ shopping + couple of baby groups, do primary school age kids school runs, prep tea and then I work nights until midnight 3/4 days a week so dh looks after the kids then. Saturdays and Sundays the kids have sports and clubs. If I get a spare hour in the week I just flop on the sofa, once a month I will get my nails done, and my hair every 8 weeks but that has to be carefully planned in.

A couple of hours a week when my partner takes both of them out is my main protected time. Frustratingly my daughter won't go to sleep until quite late so she's with me until 9.30-10 at which point I just go to bed too. I do occasionally read for half an hour at that point which is also just my time.

I work from home so does DH, DS1 is usually at nursery 3 days a week so this is the most 'downtime' we get. We both work 4 days a week and have DS 1 day each when the other is working. On those days and the weekends, nap times give us 1.5 hours where I usually collapse on the sofa (I'm 7 months pregnant). DH will usually try to get some jobs done.

My DS's sleep is still an issue for us, he is very difficult to get to sleep on an evening. We usually work together on this though recently DH has kind of taken it over as his sole duty as I'm getting big and struggling with energy in the heat. So we get a little time in the evenings but not everyday, some days it's barely enough time to eat. We don't have anyone to help or watch DS locally unfortunately. In-laws live near by but have no interest in him, they are pretty irresponsible too so we would never trust them to look after him.

My parents and siblings are great with my son and will happily watch him for a few hours so DH and I can have some alone time but they all live over 100 miles away so its not regular help. We usually plan to go and stay with my parents around our anniversary so they can watch DS and DH and I can go out for a date or the cinema.
We haven't been able to leave him on an evening with them yet as he is a terrible sleeper, but one day I'm hopeful we will be able to go to to an event or a concert again. I miss the freedom of being able to do things so much!