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Toddler birthday parties when I haven’t made many mum friends

17 replies

Liv316 · 10/08/2022 20:53

Hi all

Its my LB 2nd birthday soon and I have booked somewhere for him to have a party because we are moving house soon so don’t know if our house will be ready to have a party.

The only thing is i haven’t made many mum friends so feel quite guilty that there’s only 3 children going to be there. I was going to hire a soft play but it seems a lot of money to hire for only a number of children. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Or any other ideas on entertainment?

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Treabrea · 11/08/2022 09:07

I wouldn't bother for 4 children personally - I'd either do a playdate in the park with cake or pay for them all to go to softplay together.

If he goes to nursery could you invite his whole class if you want a party?

Cornettoninja · 11/08/2022 09:11

Your dc is going to be 2? Honestly, three guests and a bit of cake is absolutely fine. It’s basically babies just wobbling around at that age isn’t it. Parties any bigger than that are for the adults benefit and some decent celebration photos to prove that you did ‘something’ imho the kids don’t give a monkeys.

Save your stress for when the school birthday parties start!

Hugasauras · 11/08/2022 09:16

Cornettoninja · 11/08/2022 09:11

Your dc is going to be 2? Honestly, three guests and a bit of cake is absolutely fine. It’s basically babies just wobbling around at that age isn’t it. Parties any bigger than that are for the adults benefit and some decent celebration photos to prove that you did ‘something’ imho the kids don’t give a monkeys.

Save your stress for when the school birthday parties start!

Yep. 3 is when the parties tend to start around here (and you'll get bombarded with soft play party invites every other weekend). Just some cake and bubbles is enough at that age.

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milkysmum · 11/08/2022 09:22

I don't think you need to hire somewhere for a 2 year olds birthday. If there are 3 little ones ( which is a lovely amount) , could you just go to the soft play together, or a little petting farm or similar? Most places will be happy for you to take a cake in also.

AnnoyedByAlfieBear · 11/08/2022 09:34

At that age, both my DCs had family birthday parties. So grandparents and aunties and uncles rather than friends.

abovedecknotbelow · 11/08/2022 09:37

family birthdays for 2 year olds here too. DTs didnt have their first 'proper' party until they were 5.

AnneLovesGilbert · 11/08/2022 09:38

I’d plan a picnic in the park or something. That’s plenty of people for something fun and relaxed but given the amount of illness around atm I wouldn’t bank on everyone being able to come even if they want to. Better to plan something low key and low stress.

We were at a 2nd party last year which was planned for about 12 kids and on the day there were only 3 due to covid and chicken pox rampaging, it was still lovely.

Get some balloons, sandwiches, a cake and take the pressure off yourself. Plenty of time for the full shebang.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 11/08/2022 09:39

Don’t bother hiring for this age- meet the other kids in the park and have a cake- done!

Mariposista · 11/08/2022 09:40

Relax, he is far too young to need a big fuss for this birthday. 2 year olds don't really have friends, it's more an event for the parents. Do something nice as a family or with a couple of kids that he knows and likes, games in the park and a picnic. Wait until he is primary, you will have the opposite problem with a whole class of 30 crazy kids to deal with!

KosherDill · 11/08/2022 09:42

Cornettoninja · 11/08/2022 09:11

Your dc is going to be 2? Honestly, three guests and a bit of cake is absolutely fine. It’s basically babies just wobbling around at that age isn’t it. Parties any bigger than that are for the adults benefit and some decent celebration photos to prove that you did ‘something’ imho the kids don’t give a monkeys.

Save your stress for when the school birthday parties start!

Exactly.

Really not sure why this trend of big birthday parties for toddlers continues. It's just unnecessary stress. They won't understand or remember.

MermaidSwimming · 11/08/2022 09:42

Just pay for their entry to the soft play rather than book a party, take a cake if you want.

AliasGrape · 11/08/2022 09:48

DD only had one ‘friend’ at her 2nd birthday party recently - as in a similarly aged daughter of a friend I made at a baby group. I’ve made maybe 2 other ‘mum friends’ but one has just moved away and the other was at a wedding that weekend.

We have a couple of friends with older children and DD’s cousins who again are quite a bit older, who did all come, and we got a bouncy castle mainly to keep them all entertained in the garden as just easier than having them all in the house. So there were more kids there, but only one other little toddler.

DD had a good time and she likes the older kids being around, but it was a long and tiring day for her and was definitely more for our benefit. The next day her dad and I just took her to the seaside for a walk on the beach, picnic and an ice cream and I think she probably got far more out of that.

These things can be hard because they throw up the difference of expectations versus reality, if you’re anything like me you may have had some kind of picture of making a load of ‘NCT friends’ or whatever the equivalent is, spending the newborn days in cafes together and all the kids growing up together etc. But our mat leave was in lockdown and that didn’t happen, and even though I know that’s not really the norm for most people anyway, I do sometimes feel like I’ve somehow failed at this mum ideal and/ or that DD is going to
miss out. So on her birthday it sort of shows it up for a bit, but then I give myself a shake and remind myself she’s two and doesn’t care in the slightest. And she thinks anyone her own age is a ‘baby’ anyway whereas she is apparently a ‘big big girl’ 😂

3 friends and a bit of cake sounds perfect. Let them run around with a couple of balloons, or get some bubble machines, they’ll have a ball. I agree that meeting in a park might be easier and save you money, but if you like the place you’ve hired and think YOU will enjoy it then don’t worry too much.

Liv316 · 11/08/2022 09:49

Sorry I forgot to mention we do have quite a lot of family and my little boy does love a lot of people being around him so the party is for family but also a couple of friends too. We would have just had it at our house but because we’re soon moving into a new build the garden is just mud basically and so won’t fit everyone in.

Just didn’t want the little ones getting bored. I think social media definitely sways you with things like this as you feel you need to do lots for them!

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Morechocmorechoc · 11/08/2022 09:52

Parties start at 5 here when school starts. Their 'friends' will change and only be nore consistent when they are in school.

SnoozyLucy7 · 11/08/2022 10:07

I wouldn’t hire anything, but just get normal entry into the softplay, have a play and then food and cake. At 2 years old, he will not remember this party, in the future, so I really wouldn’t stress about it and just enjoy the day.

MinnieMouseclubhouse · 11/08/2022 11:31

Don't do what I did and make up for the lack of mum friends by asking pretty much everyone from nursery plus all the toddler clubs you go to and then end up with 20 + children 😱

3 friends plus family sounds perfect.

MajorCarolDanvers · 11/08/2022 11:33

3 guests, presents, cake is perfect for a 3 year old.

I didn't bother with birthday parties at all till mine started school.

We just did days out and family celebrations.

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