I’m really struggling with my 2.5 year old daughter. Obviously I love her to bits and she can be absolutely amazing, hilarious, really good fun and very empathetic ..but she definitely has trouble regulating her emotions (more than is expected for a 2 year old…I think anyway!?) very quick to scream and tantrum, hit, bite, punch etc. usually me or her dad fortunately, not other kids or her little sister.
shes had a lot of big changes in the last few months…the birth of her sister (8 month old) and we also took in a Ukrainian family who have a teenager and a 1 year old. The family is lovely and no problems from my perspective but if I’d known what was coming in terms of dealing with a 2 year old I’m not sure I would have done it. I don’t think this has caused the behaviour but it’s been a lot for her to deal with..she’s always been very high needs I’d say even as a little baby. I thought it was normal baby stuff but her little sister is a very different temperament.
at the moment she screams all day long. Everything is a battle, I feel like I’m walking on egg shells and on the 2 days she’s at nursery I feel anxious to go pick her up. I feel like she totally rules the house / dictates everyone’s mood. I try to be patient, empathetic, give her one on one time, praise how good she is with her little sister and the Ukrainian family’s baby etc and but she will still have a total meltdown many, many times a day.
i know it’s not her fault but I’m struggling with it so much..baby isn’t sleeping well at all so I’m exhausted and wake up dreading the day. I worry that maybe there’s something wrong that’s causing the extreme moods or that I’m doing something wrong that’s making things worse. She hardly has any tantrums when we have one on one time …but there’s only so much of that I can give her when I have the baby as well and little to no family support.
lately I’m so sleep deprived when she starts screaming or hitting I feel absolute rage but I don’t shout I just shut down and have to walk away for a minute because I know otherwise I will shout. I know it’s not her fault but it’s horrible to be around. I don’t like confrontation at the best of times and having someone scream in your face all day on no sleep isn’t much fun.
my mum in law and step mum in law have both said they think she’s ‘hard work’ and that I ‘go to her too quickly’ ..like if she’s crying. I always offer a hug if she’s crying but sometimes she’s just in a rage so I have to let her do her thing and just stay near her and say she can have a hug if she wants when she’s calmed down. They think I should ignore her and that I’m enabling it I think. Any advice? I think it’s really starting to effect my mental health, I don’t enjoy a lot of the time together and then feel incredibly guilty about that. I just don’t feel like I’m handling it right