Toilet training help autistic child

[Tiredmummy224]

Hi all I'm in a need of help with toilet training
Have autistic 5 year old
He can finally pee and poo on toilet no problem, the trouble we have is him saying when he needs to go
He's got limited vocabulary but he can say "pee" "poo" or "toilet" no problem
He does also know what they mean
If you ask him if he needs pee or poo he will be able to say yes or no and does get it right most of the times
Problem is he will close to never indicate when he needs to go by himself
All together I had him say "toilet" twice when he needed to go other times he closes not to say so what tends to happen if you Don't check with him often enough is he will have a dribble in his pants then hold it and if you don't realise he had that dribble he will hold it until he can't anymore and then will have an accident

Sometimes he does need to go as often as every 30mins
And while it's not too much of a problem for me to constantly check and ask him if he needs to go, i dont think at school they will have the time or remember to ask him every 30mins if he needs the toilet

So how do I get him to actually start telling me by himself when he needs it ?

Would he use a picture symbol instead of words?

Nope he is even worse with using symbols than words 😑

Sign language?

Hi Op me little boy is also autistic and only managed to get out of nappies during the Easter hols just before he turned 5.
I had the potty nurse get in touch with me as he was diagnosed as having autism just before he turned 4.

These are my own notes that I jotted down from conversation with the potty nurse

Take him to the toilet every two hours say toilet time to him not do you need a wee or poo.

Start by trying to get him on the loo for 3 mins and then work it up to 5 mins if he won’t sit on the loo for 3 mins start at 1 min then work towards 5 mins praise him each time even if he hasn’t been successful.

If he has an accident on the floor mop it up with tissue and take him to bathroom to flush tissue so he begins to associate having to go to loo to wee or poo.

Same with pooing if he has an accident take him to the bathroom get him to flush his poo and wash his hands so he starts to add them together that he needs to go to the loo.

The advice I was given was use an app called poo goes to poo land it helps them get use to their own bodily signals that they need the loo.

For ages I did have stuck up at the side of the toilet what he needed to do.

Erics website might be another good site to look at for toileting tips with autistic children.

My issue with my DS was that he would hold on for ages by not going to the loo and eventually have accidents.
I will say he finally clicked and it all just feel into place he goes to the loo himself now.

Accidents will still happen they have occasionally at school with my DS when he's become too distracted to realise and then has gotten to the loo too late.

Has he had many accidents and wet or soiled himself?

Whilst I'm not saying it to engineer a cruel situation - but perhaps your constant reminders are enough for him not to need to tell you he needs to go. Maybe ask less and see if he prompts a toilet visit himself or if he realises wetting / soiling feels very different in pants than a nappy

Would he pay attention to a watch he could wear at school that vibrates to remind him when to go? This is what my DC with ASD uses because he’s unable to ask to go.

Thing is he is not wearing nappies at all anymore (except at night) so I ask him every 30mins if he needs to go and as long as I keep asking he has no accidents becuase he knows when he needs to pee or poo. Its not that he doesnt know its just that he needs me to ask. Its when I leave it bit longer to ask that's when accidents happen because he won't say about needing to go by himself and that's what I want to solve. So he tells me by himself rather than me having to ask.

How long did that part take for your one to click?

He doesn't have many accident becuase I keep asking but I suppose I can see where you're coming from.
It's just that being wet doesn't even seem to bother him that much.
Before dinner today if he needed to go he said no. About 10mins after dinner I noticed he was wet. He didn't even say he's wet he just carried on playing as if nothing ever happened.

What kind of watch does that ?
I could try I guess but it might be a while for him to get the idea. Plus not sure if they allow them to wear stuff like that so young?

In all honesty it didn't take that long he was out of nappies over the Easter break and the first week back at school he was going to the loo he has occasionally had the odd accident if he's been too occupied in what he's doing.

I followed what I was advised as my son was holding his wee or poo so I would take him to the loo every two hours.

Also one tell tale sign for me that my little boy does is he tends to grab at himself when he needs to go for a wee so I would look out for signs so I could quickly say time for toilet would not say wee or poo just time for toilet.

I know it sounds dull saying this but it will click you will look back at this post and think wow time flies and how much has changed.

My Son is no longer in night nappies hasn't been for sometime and is even waking in the night to go to the loo something I never thought would happen for a very long time

It can be frustrating but they do eventually click and start to get it.

The charity ERIC sell them on their website. I think they’re designed for reminding people to take medication. My DS wore his from 6. School need to support him with this though. If he needs them to remind him to go each hour then that’s what they’ll have to do. They need to make “reasonable adjustments”. ERIC have a helpline and will be able to advise you how to deal with school and how to support your son to initiate himself.