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Original poster

How do you deal with newborn meltdowns in public?

54 replies

Teaandbiscuits91 · 09/08/2022 18:03

I have a 4 week old newborn and I’m only just starting to get out and about but I’m terrified of him crying hysterically and having meltdowns in public. I know all babies cry but he can go from fine to screaming bloody murder in minutes.

If you were in a supermarket, what would you do? Get the baby straight out of the pram to attempt to soothe immediately, drop the shopping and leave, carry on shopping and soothe once you’re back at the car etc? And what about when out at cafes/restaurants?

Just wondering what’s normal and any tips for handling it whilst remaining as calm as poss.

OP posts:

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AlwaysLatte · 10/08/2022 00:20

I always tried to make sure that they'd eaten, had nappy change, sleep etc beforehand so that the obvious things were covered just before going out anywhere. In a supermarket if they cried I just held them and carried on, if all the above were already done. In a restaurant or gallery, etc, I'd take them out to avoid disturbing others.

Fe345fleur · 10/08/2022 07:50

cexuwaleozbu · 09/08/2022 18:24

Babies cry, at 4 weeks old they have no complexity of communication there's just a single way to measure how not-ok things are. Not crying=everything ok. Crying can mean anything and it's very much ok that you don't know what's needed telepathically.

You don't owe strangers the peace and quiet of a totally contented baby at all times. You don't even owe your baby total satisfaction 100% of the time
Of course you will do everything you can for your baby but there will always be times when you know you have to be in the supermarket for a few mimutes grabbing something essential even thoigh the baby is loudly protesting that they don't like it there. You can only do your best and so long as you are balancing the conflictings needs to the best of your ability, that's all ok.

I think this is good advice.

I just make a call at the time. Either finish the shop if I think DD won't be upset for too long before I can see to her. Or head somewhere I can see to her straight away if not. You have to do essential life stuff sometimes as well as take care of your baby. I just try and ignore thinking about the impact on other people. Babies cry - it's just a fact of life.

TimeToGoUpAGear · 10/08/2022 21:21

You get your shopping done. If you drop everything every time a baby cries, you'll never do anything. Having said that, make sure you've changed, napped and fed before you go. Of course, even do that, crying will happen. You just give them a cuddle, try a sling and as best you can, crack swift on.

If where you usually shop does deliveries, do that for the bulk.

My baby had severe reflux and cried pretty much all day. I literally couldn't just stay home or go home. But of course, things take longer as you are stopping to see to your baby along the way!

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Chica1990 · 11/08/2022 15:36

I was worried about this too, in time you will realise how quiet your baby's cry is right now 😅

I love this that a PP put 'You don't owe strangers the peace and quiet of a totally contented baby at all times.' it's so true, have you been bothered by a young baby crying in a supermarket? I haven't, before I think I've just been glad I don't have a baby, it's a small time out of my day that I wouldn't even think about on the way home. Another PP also was right in what someone said to them - that people look because they just want to see a baby! That would be me now, probably watching a baby cry thinking how sweet they look and getting broody, despite finding motherhood seriously hard!

i have found people out during the day in the working week are a different breed of people, they seem to all have been in this position or have been there. The retired people find it sweet, the other mums on maternity leave are in it with you and the mums/child minders of older kids have been there!

Sending you confidence! Sometimes these things take time.

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